Greetings...

I haven't the first earthly idea how I've come to visit this site, nor why
I decided wherupon my arrival to register and worse yet, start posting.

But fate works in some very, very curious ways...

The least of which I will never comprehend.

Thus, I have decided that I shall return at regular intervals.
It will be an educational experience for me, I am sure.

Not to mention I've always ...wait...this will turn into a
series of incoherent if not entertaining strings of rambling.

Shhhh...nice...quiet .... calm....c ~ a ~ l ~ m....
...it's better now.

You've all been saved my tirade. Please give praise to your
respective deities in light of the fortuitous occurrence.

You know there are occassions when I go on for some time like that...
eventually always returning to the same topic; the obvious enslavement
of humankind by our evil Shofixti overlords.

I think I heara helichopper...
I must sign off now,...they're everywhere...

Viva la revolution!

ok, thanks for that

erm. Hi ?

At best, my initial post could be described as "innapropriate" or...perhaps, more straightforwardly: "really, really, weird."

I apologize.

I feel I should explain myself more;
You ever have missing time?

You know...when everything goes all fuzzy...
and you wake up in an alley in women's clothing,
quite badly injured?

I get that alot...any ideas on what it is?

Hmmm. Sounds like Guinness to me. I've had that happen as well. Still, you know what they say - "Practice makes perfect."

please carry on, it's fascinating really, to see the descent into madness

Got MAXIM? spouted:

I feel I should explain myself more;
You ever have missing time?

You know...when everything goes all fuzzy...
and you wake up in an alley in women's clothing,
quite badly injured?

I get that alot...any ideas on what it is?

Narcolepsy mixed with Tourette's and a touch of Gender Confusion.

Next patient is number 35. Number 35?

at first i thought you were on about that teenage wank mag maxim, but happily i think u are on about the machine gun

Youseemkindafun,maybealittlemanicthough.It'salrigh tjustkeepgoinguntilyourunoutofsteam.

Welcome!
Do you also like the sound of your own voice?

Hi. We love you.

you are strange! i think i love you! LOL

thisPersonIsEvenMoreMadThanTheRestOfUs

willFitInWellMeethinks

welcomeToTheMadhouse

:)

so what are we so afraid of?
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of...

Hi Welcome, you seem perfectly normal to me.

Just like all my invisible friends.......

As for tourettes, I've gathered some useful information here: http://gentreau.com/tourettes/

Lord be praised! Loved by all; loathed by none!

To what magnanimous and benevolent entity do I owe
this great honour?

Perhaps it is that in my madness, there is sanity.

Perhaps it is that in my sanity, there is madness.

Perhaps I'm just a f***ing nutcase, but we shan't find
out proper unless it's to come out again during the course
of due conversation!

Conversation with another?
Conversation with self?
Conversation .... is precisely that, now isn't it?

Self, another....if the Matrix "spoon logic" were applied...
aren't we all then just running around talking to ourselves anyway?

Another facinating and profound insight filiters in:

It has become increasingly obvious that your Prime Minister
(I say _your_ Prime Minister because, depite heaps that would indicate the contrary...at the least, we didn't install the fellow. He may be a U.S. stooge...but...lord knows, we didn't install "our" fellow either, so...I had a point somewhere, I lost it. But; ...no matter.) ...that your Prime Minster is having some amount of trouble maintaining his hair quite right. It seems the dear fellow is using the wrong conditioner or something, but his hair on some occasions is overly reflective of light, whilest on others...is remarkably drab and absorbs almost all light that touches it.

It is most troublsome to keep having to adjust the damned telly every time he comes on. -- Worse, since the whole Iraq bit, he's been on the box every other hour. (My fault, TV stuck on FoxNews, haven't had time to bring to the shop)

Please write your local gov't offices there in Britian and let them know of this travesty! The man really must take better care of his appearance; he's supposed to do some manner of representing your country to the world -- and about now I am thinking that most Brits have ferocious follicle follies found with frightening frequency!

?

That spent me, honest.

Wait. No, theres more.

' The best puns for breakfast are hot synonym puns '

That was it. Cheers.

do do do the funky chicken!

By the way,
my Priminister is "little Johnny" Howard
Still, glad you came back to the boards.
Net time try one of the other areas (I recomend 'everything' for your posting style)
Join an existing thread or start your own.

Just make sure that no one is watching!!!!!!!!!

Jay

daidavies barfed up:
Welcome!
Do you also like the sound of your own voice?

It is, when typing (and to my great dissatisfaction) replaced by a clickity-clakity-click-click-clack sort of sound.

I do admit finding this sound to be of considerable interest.

I find of considerable more interest the moaning, hissing, wining, near-singing series of sounds one's modem makes while connecting to the server's computers.

I can get off rather well on that.

It's better than those services you call into to eavesdrop
in on a conversation, supposedly of a fairly intimate nature...

Because all to oft, a) they are obviously prerecorded crap
[how do I know this?...frequency of calls....I was bound to get the same one more than once.] b) the conversation is usually between two inhibited, fairly well nervous people that you might as well expect to be sitting next to on the subway ride home. Funny how that plays into phones, but it does...there really is no magical social lubricant. -Save Guiness, perhaps.

Back to it: because long story short, the two computers singing to each other in that way so beautiful, yet so...undefined, is similar, to me, to listening to a opera sung in a foreign language (most oft Italian)...it allows you to creatively...wander the words...or, modem noises, as it were, and insert your own meanings.

Thus, perverted bastard that I am...

Well, who's to say that isn't what their saying?
Mhh?

You understand modem buzz?

So there you have it.

And there so do I. And then some.

But gluttony is a virtue!

Viva el capitalismo!

*Random factiod:
You probability of being the Anti-Christ is low today.

(*Statistic invalid if party is, in fact that Anti-Christ. Void where prohibited. Additional charges may apply. Offer not valid in conjunction with any other special offers, sales or discounts. Offer good only one per cutomer, per order, per visit, per day. Product indicated sold by weight, not volume. Factiod publisher reserves the right to deny responsibility for publishing anything publisher may or may not have published. Offer may vary according to pre-existing services. Installation fee may apply. The terms "Free" and "No cost" are understood to mean "For $150 (UK90.27)" and "No less than $1000 (UK601.80)" respectively. The term "Offer good until 08/04" refers to the final valid date of this offer which is 7/2/2003. Regional participation may vary. Contact manufacturer for support; retailer will refer you there after you have explained the manufacturer has repeatedly told you they don't support the product. XYZ Corp herby claims the right to deny the existence of said (or not) ad (or lack therof) in any court of law, and by reading this text you agree to not testify against XYZ Corp for non-ads never published.
Further, you herby indebt into bondage eternally your first born to XYZ Corp. Futher, you herby pledge voluntarily to give all of your presently banked funds to XYZ Corp for "services rendered." Further, your eternal soul and lifeforce are now the property of XYZ Corp. Any likeness to you, your-lifeforce(tm), or anything related materials thereof/therein are now protected property of XYZ Corp. Violators of this copyrite will be persecuted to the fullest extent the capitalist's machine will allow for. The XYZ Corp herby wishes to express its most sincere desire to see the entire of the species in chains, branded with corporate logo of XYZ Corp, by the year 2012.
Offer may be rescended at any time at the sole descretion of the publisher (or not) (or not.))

wtf.........this guy needs less fingers!

welcome maxim:D

Wow I think he's kinda cool in that sort of weird want to look away but can't knda way.
Hello and welcome maxim

He's got far to much time on his hands, who else has time to write nonsense like that.

Are you Jeffrey Archer??? :)

eeeks welcome :)

"Holla" to my "peeps" (not be confused with the mashmallow treats consumed ?in honor Christ's resurrection.)

I've decided that this message has thoroughly worn it's welcome in the puppies section and thus is being discontinued.

It's too peculiar to remain anything but what its logo says it is here -- SPAM.

Thus I will be moving henceforth, unto the greater glory of the other boards.

Let one thing remain long after I have departed this board;

"Woof."


I can only hope the profoundness of such a statement is not lost of future generations of puppies.

Farewell, all. -- and to all a goodnight.

Statistic invalid if party is, in fact that Anti-Christ.

In fact, it wouldn't be because although the subject's chance of being the Anti-christ is indeed very low, it is not zero. The subject is the anti-christ against probability and rather than invalidating the original hypothesis has, by reason of its rarity, validated it.

*Looks around*

Maxim…….a question. What in the name of blind fuck is your photo of? I could only surmise that it may be the legendary Colonel Sanders harvesting chickens for his world wide fast food outlets. Please elucidate.

Why do anything that won't educate you?

Gentreau spouted:
As for tourettes, I've gathered some useful information here: http://gentreau.com/tourettes/

Hahaha! Laughed my arse into space!

Mr. Maxim, you appear to use 17 words when one will do. Are you the writer of "Dawson's Creek"?