Suddenly

Most of the time I take things for granted,
Things of all kinds, most of them totally unimportant,
I guess that everybody does it,

I'm not everybody so I don't know but I guess that everybody does it,
I'm not so self-obsessed to think that I am special,
That I am the only one in the whole world who ever thinks like this,

So, I take a lot of things for granted,
I don't feel guilty about them mostly,
I blame the society that I live in,
I blame the rest of the world,
Everyone except myself,

That way I don't have to feel guilty or sad or anything,
It seems we all spend a lot of our time not feeling anything,
Totally desensitised either by choice or by circumstance,

Oblivious to the rich tapestry of emotions that is being continually woven around and inside us,
Single minds fixated on the way that we want to think and feel and blocking out everything else,
Dead but for our breathing, tied up in little packets of self absorption, in the chase of our own little goals,

But sometimes just suddenly with no expectation something happens,
Something that opens our eyes and our minds to the madness of the world around us,
In a single moment in time, the time that it takes for a memory to form or for a tear to fall,

All of a sudden something that you take for granted disappears,
Or someone,
Suddenly something that you never even realised that you had you don't have anymore,
Something that you never knew mattered possesses your every waking thought,

It’s as if the sun has set and in the morning you wait for it to rise just because that is what happens,
But it never rises its light never reaches your eyes and you never feel its warmth on your skin,
It’s then you realise why it was important to you,

Sometimes I hate the world around me,
But it is a world of my own making,
It is created through my own in admission of emotions and my own desire to be in control,

Sometimes when that something happens and I have to sit up and take in the pain and suffering and fear and hatred of the world around me,
It makes me want to scream and shout and just explode,
But then it makes me smile because of what it brings with it,
None of these negative emotions can reach me without bringing their opposites,

When I open my eyes to them I see also the joy and the ecstasy and the courage and the love of the world around me,
And I know somewhere deep inside that I need all of these emotions even the ones that I hate and despise,
I need them to make me complete.