In like a lion, out like a bitch
That's Pazza doing Dogbomb, down in a ditch
Going on and on, from morning to noon,
Using nothing but a nice silver spoon.

Dogbomb Led on his back, with his legs up so high
PaZZa gettin' so hot, that he romps both thighs
Forget about condom's, and dildo's too
They fancy a threesome, and go and ask Sphoo

Yellowdog wants in, and Minx wants out
But you'd be surprised how they used a garden sprout.
Banana's get squashed, oranges get crushed
But Minx gets dizzy from Yellowdog's penis dust!

Now you continue the poem...

NetniV on acid or Minoid on Tizer
please remember not to stand beside her
Boobies to the left, boobies to the right
just show my boobies late into the night

where have your posts gone you may ask yourself
dogbomb has them a jar, up hight on a shelf
their for sale on ebay now, and your only chance
is to go begging to dogbomb, rememebr the stance

on your knees bitch!

On your knees Bitch, and show me a good time
But whatever you do, don't make me stand in a line...
I want it now, and I want it good
Because HisholynessDPope was just simply crud.

On your back, or on your knees
Whatever it is, I want no fees!
Give me it fast, and give it me quick
Before all this beer I drank makes me feel sick!

I dont need those old boobies, coz boobies grow on trees.
And you neednt think you'll ever see me grovelling on my knees.
I'll get myself another pair, and sew em on myself
and dogbomb can keep his bap collection up there on the shelf.


So yah boo sucks you booby theives, and swallow humble custard.
You'd make it as a poet if you'd only cut the mustard.
Im taking my boobies home, to wash and wring em out.
And if I need a big strong man, I'll give baby chunks a shout ;)

You know how when i tell those boys to kindly pay attention,
there was one thing that i should have said i just forgot to mention.

When writing a thread of poetry, it often helps to read,
just what the thread before you said, before you smoke the weed.

coz otherwise, cut down to size you'll be and that's a bastard.
And when I post 1000 posts Im off to get reet plastered.

But if you fail to read the thread, that was post there before,
You'll get a knock of the tax man, pounding on your door
He'll expect you to hand over all your hard earned working cash
Before he runs off out the door with your super hash stash.

So if you want to keep alert, then what you really need
Is a very good supply, of vast quantities of speed.
And with this supply, you'll be alert for what's to come
Unless it happens to be Yellowdog, insert up that goat's bum!

Feeling sick as a parrot or high as a kite
just remember to stop when its late at night
Remember the cabbages the crisps and the pope
remember the downtime, and to bring some rope

sailing to blackpool on a raft made of lead
racing to cheltnam on a horse thats long dead
the football has burst and the cricket ball lost
be like the royal family, never think of the cost.

So who is next, in our little quest
Who will take that pain in their chest?
Will it be me, or will it be you?
One things for sure, it won't be sphoo.

I'm a peanut butter nutter,
Proud old peanut butter strutter.
Heart's a flutter, makes me stutter,
Puh-puh, puh-puh, peanut butter.

Can you type, can you do it real quick?
Or if you're asked to add, will you be a dick?
Come on, it's easy, to add you see
For fucks sake, not again, not me!

When I popped back in again to see what had been post,
I spied a verse from chunkus, which did pleaseth me the most.
Chunkus is sponsored by SunPat, and SunPat is sponsored by me.
I have peanut butter for breakfast, elevenses and morning tea.


So when your tongue is concreted to the bit in the roof of your gob.
Remember the SunPat workers, coz you're giving them a job!
I'd like to stay and post some more, but now I have to scoot.
I've something sharp and pointy and its headed at PaZZas chute.

Well, now it's time for Minx's neck
to make her shout: "Oh what the heck
I need to go and lie down for a bit
because otherwise I'll have a fit"

And have a fit is what she has done
Because she forgot that it was all in fun
To get her posts up to one thousand
with the appludes of a big brass band

So where is Minx, what is she doing
She should be here no, replies a brewing.
But instead she's lying, her neck to rest
Will I get on and post replies to the best.

Hello my chums its me again, recovered from my strop.
I had a smoke and a lie down and half a glass of pop.
And as I write this poem bit to give thanks for all you chaps,
Ive gone and got my boobies out, so you can see my baps.

And as we wait for the picture to show
from Minxoid's recent post flow.
Lets sit back and marvel at
the post count...and all that...

But if these are not your sort of things
then listen for the bell that dings
for when it chimes and strikes
it's the night of ugly dykes!

Well I sat here for hours and hours, with the boobies all a flapping.
But no-one came, so whats their game? I must have caught them napping.
If you didnt want to see my boobies, it was easy just to say.
"Instead of leaving you shivering here, just put the things away!"


So, I put away my mamoogas, my babylons, my baps,
(I've got a big collection just to satisfy the chaps)
And as they were rejected, they'll be never seen again.
Unless the massive cheque appears, from someone capable of payin'

And I as I came back in the morning
I realised that a new day was dawning
To my thread of a wonderful poem
Continuation was still on goin'

And now it's time for someone else to post
to make sure that this thread can boast
of being the longest one on topic
so come on, lets make this historic!

I hate you all and I mean that in the worst way,
your thread sucks, it's all drivel from lame fucks,
It's not prose or poetry at best their limmericks and gay!

You are all piss and shit and have no business breathing,
so fuck off and die, lyrically I spit in your eye,
as you read this and hate me but continue on reading!

Quatraine after quatraine you've spewed your garbage
and prattle,
now bow and suck me then die most miserably,
be gone with the lot of you off to the slaughter like sheep and cattle.

I don't hate any one of you more than the other,
I hate you all equally, you are all freaks to me,
so fuck you, fuck you, fuck you and your mothers!

If you really hate us all so bad
You didn't need join the posting fad
For all you had to do, you see,
was to be as quiet as can be,

For by being your loud noisy self
You sound just like a little elf
Whose lost his santa, having fallen from the sleigh
And can no longer help him on his way

So if you really must start pouting
then don't do it by post shouting
Do it in some quiet corner of a room
on a hand grenade that's ready to go boom!

It's lovely, this thing of beauty, this poem,
I think it's the idea of a genius and perpetuated by witty folk,
this sentiment, this idea that we've got goin'.

It spreads love and comraderie and joy,
it brings a sense of wanting,
and closeness to every girl and boy.

It touches a sensual side and bolsters the posters pride,
and transcends international borders,
like a bridge spanning the void.

So come one and come all and write your piece to this tapestry,
may you find freedom of expression, a sense of well being,
a spirit of love,
as a way to just let it be.

I did mine in two parts for the "left and right side"
and you got bent out of shape before I could finish what I tried.

Relax and enjoy, no need for any "Hoy Paloy"
no need to act gruff or be so coy.

Just read laugh and giggle, whip out your worm and give it a wiggle,
and cover your keyboard cause you're starting to dribble.

But start to dribble is just what I might
have to do, because of that lovely sight
of my poem doing so well and strong
that it's managed to carry on going this long

So if I seem to be a little happy
it isn't because I've had a change of nappy
it is because I'm really in real joy
because you are all sharing in my toy

But then it takes just one person to ruin
all the good hard work we've been doing
just because he can't take the time
to make his response sound like a ryhme

So to him, I will submit
a large hammer on him to hit
To see if it will some sense to knock
whilst making him wear that danty frock.

But look at me, a big bad mod,
I deleted the post from that stupid sod,
I added my own, for you all to peruse,
And I run this message board for you all to abuse.

And so you do, you big bad boy
for we all love to abuse your toy
Each day we come to swear and shout
and our favourite things to tout

So thank you for that post that's be deleted
but lets not let this poem become depleted
for as it works it's magic on through
it's for some to post, and it could be YOU!

The grand old duke of york
he had 10,000 men
and if he'd had the energy
he'd have them all again

fergie, fergie quite contrary
how does ur garden grow?
she has no idea cos shes gone ski-ing.

And with that wierdest post for Pazza, there
I'm going to wonder if that goes like a hare
that's having to romp so very hard and fast
because it doesn't realise it's mate is a mast.

So if you'd like to contribute something good
then don't forget to bring the food
for you might be here a long time
whilst you're waiting in the line!

ive brought all the munchies
something soft and something crunchy
all i need now is something cool to drink
so, come on guys tell me what do you think

netniv, tell us, how long is your line
what are we all waiting for, hopefully some great wine
if its not something good, please let us know
so we can all find other things and go, go, go

i want something new and something fun to do
where will i find it, will it be with you
no i dont think so, not with your like
maybe i'll find it riding my bike

some say i'll find it over in town
or maybe blowing balloons up with the clown
i know it isnt over with the town ho
but i do know that what i'm looking for is somewhere over the rainbow


lions and tigers and bears, oh my
please take my rainbow back to the sky
i've always followed the yellow brick road
i've found my prince and he wasnt a toad

If he wasn't a toad, then maybe a frog
who likes to fuck just like a dog
and as for that yellow brick road
are you really so sure that he isn't a toad?

So, if maybe a horse, or a cow, or a cat
whatever it is, he ain't much at that
for if you were to find it with me
you'd be screaming my name, with lots of glee!

yes if i were with you
i would be screaming too
but it wouldnt be with glee
it would be because i wanted to flee

if they asked you for your thought
not a one could be bought
for theres not a one to buy
especially from your sort of guy

nothing more than a shit
for that is what you are fit
if you are going to knock my man
your hide i will tan

not a cat, or a cow, or a horse
he is not like yours, of course
but then, i forgot, you like goats
probably like to do them in little boats

so back to my yellow brick road
and even if i have to kiss a toad
has to be better than what your girl must do
she's so ashamed to be with you

after seeing your picture i had a nightmare
but that was just a bad dream, so what do i care
just had to think of my lovely rainbow
it took me away, with its colorful flow

you cannot tempt or tease me
nor i guess could you let it be
but that is typical you
netniv you big doo doo.

The Fucking cat is fucking fat
The fucking dog hates the fucking cat
The fucking government dont give a fuck
Make the fucking most of it were all fucking stuck

The fucking pop idol is fucking gay
The fucking song is fucking gay
the fucking show was fucking gay
I'm in a bad fucking mood and i had to fucking say.

It's sounds some much like, to me at least
you haven't been getting enough daily yeast
so you'd really like a nice little infection,
something that would be embarrasing to mention

something that's cold, and brutal too
something you wouldn't even find in a zoo
something that's uglier than terry hatcher
yes it's the one and only, Maggie Thatcher!

i hate mods
the stupid sods
netniV and paZZa
and maybe gazza
could get away with that
But dogbomb, what a twat
(no ofense meant, but you told me to rhyme)
i cook with sage, parcly and thyme
But i shall give up trying my hand at this poem
and retreat to my,woful, sex crazed women.

And retreat is what, you really should do
because no on this peom should we hear from you
for your rythming sucks, your words to do
did you get your education at london zoo?

For all we ask, is that you make it good
and not provide such horrible crud!
for all we want is a nice simple read
so back to college, it's what you need!

and for you netniv, do you know how to spell
you dont preview your posts, we can all tell
your rhyming is ok, but your content does smell

pb468 better be careful what you say
this, my friend, may not be your day
for dogbomb is big daddy around here
he can make and take you, have no fear

yellowdog and gladiator, what louts
diarrhea of the mouth is what you spout
for prior to posting your drivel, you should do some research
before you make that soapbox your final perch

but really, i like all of you tons
without you, posting on this board would be no fun
so back on my rainbow for a ride
off to never neverland is where i will glide

and to never neverland, you have gone
to look for adventures because here there is none
with tinklebell, hook and those fabulous lost boys
to help you out, with you vast sexual toys

Giving you pleasure from dawn till dust
is one thing you insist on, it's a definate must
so as we look back over these last two days
we seem to have come along in our own ways!

And as for my rhyming which seems just ok...
there's nothing else much to do at the end of the day
for I'm sat here alone, at my desk at work
so much responsibility that I really must shirk

for tinklebells breasts and hooks big crook
are some of the things that I don't want to muck
for if they were dirty, they'd come after me
with captain hook shouting "smee smee smee!"

lost boys are not really my game
i go for men that are like lions, hence my name
for taming those wild beasts makes me happy
making their beautiful manes all nappy

yellowdog likes to poison other peoples doggy
what can make a persons mind so foggy
storm, herself, is just a wall flower
if she would even try to make her posts full of power

minx, it think, is a spunky little sprite
at least her posts are full of might
pazza, is one i really havent figured out yet
but not to worry, i will, for his thoughts i have met

ash, ash what can i say
you, too intrigue me, and not just on this day
your use of complicated words are just and right
except for your use of the non-existent word methodite

alexander is one i have yet to meet
from what i hear, he can be really neat
i know that i havent even commented on all of you yet
one more, i didnt forget

hellbentstar, my friend, one like you is rare
you have pushed me on with your dare
your posts are proud and well thought out i see
thankyou very much for your compliments to me

so once again, back on my rainbow
to which place shall i go?
maybe wonderland this time
to be with alice, dont worry, i'll bring the tequilla and lime

And now it's that time of day
when I have another thing to say
for I am bored, but working hard
to score brownie points upon my card

work is hard, it's tough and cruel
i didn't even, for lunch, get some gruel!
so I'm hungry and tired, and very worn out
give me something new to read, before I go pout!

liontamer your rhymes are of the long sort
Try out brevity and make them all short.
Netni your rhymes are quick to the points
I bet that you write them while smoking your joints

Yellowdog rhymes? This I must see.
I think his IQ is that of a Tree.
A tree with big boobies as Minx might suggest.
1000 posts for her. She passes her test.

So who is EvilmidniteBomb you might ask
He's a stunning basterd full of Class!
Let me bend over so you can Kiss my ass!

Kiss your ass, is something that I must not do
for it would test, like I was kissing a zoo
full of animals with their stench all around
so now I must run off, to the distance abound!

Smoking some joints? ah yes, a head full of weed
it sounds like something, that I really need
to claim my insanity, no more work to do
is that really dumbo flying over the zoo??

No, Silly that was me, dont think you're insane
I called in the zoo, to iron your mane.
I also stopped by there to pick up some dinner,
cause leopard on toast is a guaranteed thinner.

So fret ye no more, pal, your mind is all stable
Although I am no judge, I'm hid under the table.
You dont want to see me when its a full moon,
cause I snuffle like a truffle pig, and burst like a bloon.

So call me a doctor, and call me one quick,
to be here for so long is making me sick
Whilst you are all lovely, I can no longer stay,
as I must come to terms with the fact that Wills gay.

I got your "poem" right here in my hands,
8 inches of cock to add some swelling to your glands.

Some of your limmericks seem to be products of bong hits with as much depth as a gutter puddle!
Some of you write about the most pointless issues, rambling of nothing and proving to all that truly your mind is befuddled.

Writing skills are not the issue here as very few of you have them,
but what about some creativity you jokers!
I hear talk of rainbows and trips to Never-Never Land by a certain little femme,
but all the other additions sound like a whining and moaning from small animals stabbed with hot pokers!

Let's hear more of romps in white clouds, struggles with dragons and crimes of love.
Show me your skills when rhyming of lost innocense, lost love and nights spent alone escaping on wings of doves.

You want a short poem to read for your nonexistent attention span?
Then find some bathroom stalls to read and leave the prose to those who can expand the mind and are a true fan!

So maybe we dont all write long words, but at least our poems scan.
And the length of verse and the massive words dont really make the man.

So before you start with your poetic fart, just give some thought to this.
I'd rather be a stoner than a dried up moaner,
So swivel and choke on my piss :)

Dried up? Hardly! I have cum for your eyes, chest and ass and still some for you to choke down that throat!
So I choose to use words with more than one syllable and have a flow to my writing that's a little better than you goats!

So there's a modicum of creativeness in what I say and you with your bong prefer to watch braincells jump from your ears whilst to their death they fall!
While I make poignant mark with each of these lines you rant and rave like the unknowing child that reads such wisdom off gas station walls.

Please little girl, don't push that panic button just yet,
Don't lash out in anger because the point that was made you just don't get.
There's no need for bitterness and rancor amongst our masses,
I don't blame YOU for stoning your grey matter and just sitting on your collective asses.

Live and let live, that's what I say!
All I ask is that you throw a little creativity my way!

Oh dear Lord! Yet another newbie and who the hell are YOU?
Don't come in here slithering and not expect to be caught under a shoe!

The point you made about creativity will be duely noted,
But I think you should relax your criticisms because that head of yours is showing it's bloated!

Some of these folks are here to communicate, relax and blow off some steam,
They don't wish to be another Robert Frost, just to enjoy themselves, maybe laugh, maybe scream.

Don't start knocking people because they don't write like it's an art,
Just relax and enjoy it for what it is and try leaving a better impression, it's only smart!

Just remember this is my peom DixieWrecked
for it's one that I put out, like I will when your decked!
You think those words are what really counts here?
I'm sorry but your are mistaken dear!

So, don't make your lines last so long
lake someone whose shoved up their ass, a bong
for you seem to be talking out of your arse
and your poetry reads like a primary school farce!

And there's just one more thing I'd like to note
that Yellowdog has indeed stolen the Takeover Goat
for his own sexual ends, and evil foul means
wearing nothing but PaZZa's nightgown and jeans!

And so as this poem stretches from page to page
it's going old, it's getting on in age
but lets keep it going, from this moment to that
a help it to fly like a nice healthy bat!

Some people are complaining about my typos
I think they are being picky little smoes
for I like to spill things just as corructly as I please
so come read my pistings, ones such as these!

Its late, Im tired, my neck will snap
If I dont get to post this crap.
It isnt much, It isnt long,
Its more a poem and less a song.

I wanted to wish you all good night,but wasnt sure how without a fight.
Do I say goodnight, and keep it plain, or do I say bonne nuit, auf weidersehen?
No, I cant do it, Im not like that, Im not a stuck up pretentious twat.
Although I do base my poems on the cat in the hat.

I do not like green tramps and spam, I do not like them SPAM-I-AM

NetniV can blow me!...ya puny pricked, feeble minded, brown nosing, troglogite!
You and your zoo fetish filled ramblings wreak of someone elses spunk and on my ass you can bite!

You and this moderating God complex can suck my nut sack sweat and go to hell,
keep pushing peoples buttons and making a mockery of everyone else and soon for your head they will yell!

Drop dead you putrid bag of toad puss!
You need to put a cork in all this whining and crying and fuss.

Squash that overblown ego and all your personal banner toting antics,
nobody wants to hear you tell of how wonderful you think you are through verbal symantics.

Crawl back under that best left forgotten and shit stained rock from which you came,
cause this poster won't back down from your puffy chested scrawlings that prove you are lame!

But you are forgetting one thing my dear
without me, this poem would have never been here
and seeing as you continue to post
then you're singing my praises as your godly host

for this was my poem that I choose to share
even with people like you, too ugly to bare
so go crawl back under that rock that we've turned
or just stay here to get well and truely burned!

dixiewrecked, you'd better be careful what you say
not that im a big netniv fan, i think he might be gay
your words are mighty harsh for a newbie
maybe its you who needs to smoke a fat doobie

netniv, yes he's a moderator here
but he is not the one here to fear
it is all the others, you'll see
beware most of all from janetdoggy

he eats newbies for breakfast, just like you
keep on spouting out your hateful spew
or maybe you enjoy being told where to get
but hateful drool is his bag, and him you have not met
yet

robin is one who will let you know her game
a nice enough bird, but she's nothing like her name
so if you decide to post back in here
make sure you bring us all plenty of beer

roses are red, violets are blue
evilmidnightbomb, what the hell's the matter with you
does it really matter how long my posts are
or does it require your attention span to go too far

now back on my rainbow, to find cloud nine
it will be soft and fluffy, but most of all, all mine
as long as it has on it, a beautiful adonis
for me to tame, really, honest

with all the wonderful colors of a prism
just make sure on it is a golden cup of jisim
there are you all happy, there's rainbows, clouds, sassy, and sex talk
try to find something that will not make you balk

if you are not happy with this little prose
then maybe we can try to talk dogbomb into a pose
if not, then maybe you should take a pass
and if all else fails, you can always kiss my dogs ass

Liontamer1212 spouted:
[roses are red, violets are blue
evilmidnightbomb, what the hell's the matter with you
does it really matter how long my posts are
or does it require your attention span to go too far

Well yeah! But it was more that short
just really rhymes well with sort.
;)

i see all of you from my cloud up high
hey netniv do you wear a tie?
evilmidnitebomb, don't be so sly
i'm sure you're a pretty nice guy

wow, my cloud has a silver lining
adonis is here, but it is for another i am pining
there he is, yes over there
he has such long golden hair

who can it be you all must be asking
i will never tell for it is in my light he is basking
jeez what is this drivel i am typing
is it someone elses words i am swiping

no it is not they are my own
hey got to go, there is the phone

netniV spouted:
Some people are complaining about my typos
I think they are being picky little smoes
for I like to spill things just as corructly as I please
so come read my pistings, ones such as these!

From smoes, I take it, you are referring to Liontamer.
My god, quit whinning, could you be any lamer.
Many consider proper spelling, grammer and punctuation quite an art.
Grow up, quit being such a little fart.

Is that your picture there, I see?
I thought Hellbent had missed when he went to pee.
DixieWrecked, kinda had it right.
Although, my dear, you misspelled troglodyte.

Though, your intentions were good and well.
Hopefully, put netniv under a spell.
Congratulations to Minx, for her 1000 posts.
Maybe we could put netniv on the fire for some roasts.

But then he probably wouldn't taste very good.
We'd have to order out for some real food.
Pb468, quit being such a shit.
Or else you might get bit.

Really, netniv, your poem's a novel thought.
Never knew you had one, that you hadn't bought.
Or did you steal this from another.
Maybe Janetdoggy, oh brother.

:zzz: :zzz: :zzz:

Holy smoke, is there no love for these posters, or anyone?
It appears no one is safe, get'em all, get everyone!
I'm grammatically inept and a misspelling dolt?
netniV being bitch slapped in what seems like a revolt?


And now enters a little bird, a Robin dressed in red,
with opinions to be shared and flames that scorch lead.
Mind your tongue little lady, Dixie is taking heads.
If it's fear to be stirred we've not heard from JanetDoggy's arsenal of dread.

Hellbent, love, what would this board be without some slamming?
If it is blood Dixie wants, bring it, I will be damning.
I can be pretty obnoxious, as we all know.
So if you want to go after me, better be ready to blow.
With my wings, I will take flight.
Watch out everyone, there's gonna be a fight.

Think you're good at doing some flamming?
Better get liontamer in here, she needs to do some taming.
Or would she rather ride her little rainbow?
Me, I want to see the blood flow.

Janetdoggy, we have not heard from yet.
But, I'm sure we will, on that you can bet.
Another one we have not heard from yet.
Would be storm, or is more than a one liner too much to expect.

And so as it works it's amazing peice of magic
this poem is going from good to tragic
and then back again, it works it's spell
continuing forward like a bat out of hell!

And so as I sit here and edit a post
I wonder of anyone who has posted the most
interesting and funny sort of response
and who was the one who acted a ponce!

Do you think there should be some form of prize?
For the post with the wit, not the shit we despise.
We could nominate poems that we think are smashing,
and pick out the shit ones and give them a lashing.

The one thing I've noticed since being on here,
Is that people do bitch just for fun, which brings cheer.
But please chaps remember, that fun is the key,
Please remove your knife when you stick it in me.

I come here to chill, and relax, and just laugh,
and mostly its good, and sometimes its naff.
But grammar and spelling and full stops and shit,
are nice, but not the be end all of it.

So use your big words, thats why they are there
and use some little ones, like arse, and mare.
But whenever you can do, try not to be so nasty,
It's the humerous equivalent of a cheese and onion pastie.

With food on the brain, I'll come with my knife
and stick it and twist it, just like I did in my wife
for I love the sight of that red sticky stuff
that pours all over the blade (is that enough?)

for I am cruel, and evil and bad
I'm all those nasty things that you've never had
and as I walk on down the street
I'll think of my knife, if we ever meet!

oh netniv and minx arent you so clever
with what you consider to be your endeavour
but yes i agree there is far too much fighting
puffing up of the chest to show mighting

the rest of the world does enough of that, i see
why cant they all have a rainbow, like me
come on all, cant we just get along?
maybe it would help if netniv put on a thong

maybe not, after i think about that, he he
wouldnt want to start world war three
just want love and flowers and pretty things too
dont want to go around slinging lots of poo
so smile and dont go boo hoo

But if we went, boo hoo, you see
it'd be like making a ghost for us three
for creaky noises and bumps in the night
are what help add to our fabulous might!

For we are the posters, of this poem, today
and continue to post, we will, come what may
for our dedication and stance are one and the same
to nobody will this poem start assigning the blame.

the blame of what? I hear you cry
of making people want to die
for taking their lives will not solve a thing
(except those gremlins in the microwave making it ping!)

My last question for now, is simple to read
it's dogbomb on here that we really need
where are his wise words of wisdom, in a post on here
maybe he wants paying but I find his rates are too dear!

so come on on here, and give us some verse
after reading the above, there can't be that much worse
that the ramblings of that DixieWrecked person
who obviously does not know the meaning of fun!

so come one, come all post to this poem of netnivs
we will try not to be too abusive
some people can be pretty rude
but not all of us, so post your verse, dude

the sun is shining in the sky
man i wish you could be this high
for up on my cloud sitting here am i
but where is dogbomb, hey dont let this poem die

netniv and minx are there as well
posting words of wisdom? opps, i almost fell
back on my rainbow, to another land
come on you guys give me a hand

where should i ride my rainbow to today
maybe somewhere that i might find dogbombs pay
what was the price? does anyone know
how much for that dogbomb in the window?

netniv, my dear, please dont wear your thong
just go back to smoking your bong
we do not want to see your dong
if you think we do you are just wrong

for today my heart is full of love
it has wings just like a dove
it has found my one and only
no longer will i ever be lonely

so to post on here, dont be such a dolt
if you are you may get a jolt
dixiewrecked, you should be locked up
for you are just a silly pup

robin, love, for you i still have hope
at least you can rhyme but dont sound so much like a dope
some have come on and posted one i see
but then they have left, cant handle the likes of netniv, minx, and me

now try your hand at this
but try not to moan and piss
for we all like a good read i hear
but its the really thoughtful ones we hold dear

if you really need me to lend you my hand
then don't be surprised when you no longer stand
for on your back you will surely get some tests
as I fumble around trying to find your small breasts.

And if I locate them, in rapid quick time
then hopefully I won't have my hands smelling of lime
from the sweat that you'll have as you have lots of fun
with my nice could hands upon your bun!

small breasts, i think not
obviously you dont know what i got
you couldnt handle me my dear
far larger men have tried, never you fear

and on my buns you will not be found there
for i am not to be rode like a silly mare
i am to be caressed and rubbed
by my prince who has already been dubbed

buy netniv, love, im sure you will find another
maybe a nice girl, maybe somebodys mother
whoever it is, wherever you find her
i hope she doesnt treat you like her brother

you deserve better, i hope so, i do
but where will you find someone to be with you
maybe you can use my rainbow to go
just make sure you bring it back, it might cost you some dough

you can even borrow my chair and whip
maybe to make sure she'd let you dip
but in your own juice do not let yourself slip

I will not look, I will not find
that future girl you had in mind
for I have her, already with me
in my heart, forever to be

She came to me, out of the blue
and she even wanted me to say I do.
But I have already been burnt
so some lessons I've already learnt

But maybe one day, she'll convince me enough
to take her away to swim in the buff
and maybe right there, I'll offer to her
something, right now, I wouldn't even dare

Love this girl, I surely do
and of her type, there will never be two
for one is enough, for me at least
she's the only one who could tame this beast.

right now she'll be sleeping, at home in bed
where I left her last night, as I went to work instead
so, don't tell me of love, for I've already found it
but that doesn't mean, I won't still be a git!

oh my god, i think i'm going to cry
to think that came out of the same guy
never before have i heard you like that
always before youve sounded like quite the rat

very, very nice netniv i must say
well, maybe you might not be gay
so you dont need my rainbow after-all
hopefully you are not setting yourself up for a fall

i hope she gives you all you need
she sounds quite nice, very, indeed
you definetly sound as if you're in love
hopeful you'll stay there, on the wings of a dove

I would not fly upon an eagle
because it would be deemed illegal
and if you were on that same dove
that down you'd fall with my firm shove!

So, as you think about that plan
remember what a bastard of a man
that I can be as you write your verse
becareful becuse I can can get worse!

Damn man, she was just trying to be nice.
Being an asshole, really is your vice.
If its a shoving match you crave.
Bring it on little boy, or are you that brave.

Bravery is one that eludes you.
I hope Liontamer, nails you with doo doo.
You tried to coax your way into her heart.
But then showed your true form, you little fart.

So tell us all, is it true?
Does your girl really leave you blue?
But then, maybe, you've got her on a boat.
You'd have to, hell, she's just a goat.

Baa, baa, black sheep have you any wool?
No netniv took it all, thought he'd be cool.
But he wasn't as cool as he thought he'd be.
Because netniv is nothing more that a puddle of pee pee.

Eeny, meeny, miny, mo
Catch DixieWrecked by a toe
If he squeals, put him in a liquidiser
This rhymes as much as his does.

netniv, netniv you little shit
i tried to be nice and this is what i get
figures as you are just a man
with no soul for you are putting this poem in the can

but then i forgot you have no life
maybe that is why you have no wife
so back up to my cloud i will go
riding, for fun, my beautiful rainbow

by the way, i thought yellowdog was the git
why are you playing his little bit
he is much better at it than you
even if he does smell like a load of poo

pazza, dear, you brought up dixiewrecked
thought we were rid of him, i think he's henpecked
his words are those which sound like a bitch
maybe his girl gave him an itch

so back on my rainbow i think i must go
off to see santa, ho ho ho
what will i ask him for this year
i wont tell, thats for him to hear

maybe to remove netniv from his hell
maybe not, i'll never tell
a message he did give me to tell you
netniv, he said, dont be such a pile of steaming poo

robin, i dont need you to defend me
my honor is not hurt, just wait you'll see
so on my rainbow, from the north pole
where will i be next? i wont tell a single soul

I have no wife, there's truth in that
I swapped her for my favourite hat
You see I can be what I like
even on a stage in front of a mike

If I wanted you there, to be a friend
then you'd have to suffer my ways to the end
You'd not understand how that would last
because of things that are there in the past

If I am mean, and I am rude
then it's because I can be crude
I never tried to be so mean
as when someone tries to make me clean!

For I like, to be down and dirty
or go all the way, or just be a little flirty
If you can't understand me now
then how could you ever be nice, yes how?

i never tried to make you clean
and i always knew you were just plain mean
but if it is nasty you want to get
you havent seen nasty yet

for i can be the nastiest of all
i am a woman, and i wont let myself fall
into your trick of turning things around
when i consider myself much above things abound

yes you are mean nasty and rude
and yes you are just plain crude
but i will not give you such a shove
as to make you fall from MY dove

funny you should bring up so much moping
ive heard that the brits have been doing some doping
you've lost your bronze to be sure
at least the americans gold is still pure

so go on and be nasty to me
sometimes i like it nasty, you'll see
for i am an american woman
much more than you'll ever be, doo doo man

:) :D :cool:

if Doo Doo man is what I be,
then maybe I have something for you to see.
if you like to have this much shit
then I'll send it all over in a bit!

To travel up into you cloud
maybe I'll use my magic shroud
of mystery, magic and suspense
and then impale you upon a fence!

Do not try, to mock me dear
for into you, will come high fear
of things I could do to you each night
these things that give you a nasty fright!

for all I have to do to you
is make you think it's what I do
and then you'll see how bad I am
to make you sleep with MS Anderson, yes Pam!

you do not intall fear into me
i really think you are a bit silly
coming onto my cloud at night
will not work, so go fly a kite

i still dont see how bad you claim to be
you dont scare me
now pam anderson, what a stitch
shes one scary bitch

hubby, needles and the such
has given her a disease, no one wants too much
so with her i will not sleep
but you can insert your needle dick real deep

your magic shroud will not protect you today
if you come to my cloud you will pay
i offered my rainbow and you turned it down
said you didnt need it you freaky clown

And to that am I supposed to reply?
that so that I will surely die?
I will not die, for I do not live
a flying fuck, I could not give.

For never did you invite me up
only that cloud you lying pup
but if you were to say sorry
then you might get a visit from little old me

And yes I am, as little can be
for that was how nature has made me
but I do not complain, I do not baulk
like I've been sucking dirty old chalk

So if you'd want to risk yourself
you could get down from off that shelf
that you call the cloud on which you sit
being such an arrogant non-existent shit. :)

never onto my cloud did i invite you, this much is true
and if you did come up, that day you'd rue
you invited yourself up
now who is the lying pup?

an arrogant one i may be
but non-existent, i think not, you'll see
for unlike you i do live well
i have a life, a cute southern belle

being on my cloud keeps my feet from getting dirty
with scum like dixiewrecked, yellowdog, and you, my i can be skirty
so back on my rainbow, no you cant ride
crawl back in your hole, go, just hide

back to never, neverland
to play with peter pan
the mermaids you can have those
fishy isnt my thing, just makes me wrinkle up my nose
;) :) :cool:

so, tell me all, why
is it only netniv and i
are we the only ones who can rhyme
i think not, so come on give your time

i know some of you others have posted here
and some of us have installed you with fear
but be afraid no more
just come knock on the door

try your best to post
for a prize you might get if you rhyme the most
from netniv a thrill we might pick
maybe a picture of his needle dick!!!!

*lol* *lol* *lol*

Im back to save this poem
I'll try and do my best,
to keep it from the closed thread sign
and then eternal rest.

Hello you lovely people
I've missed you all a lot.
Shall I go for 2k this week,
No, I think praps not.

Dixie has subsided
He must have met his match
so you can bring his penis here
and serve it in a batch

Id eat it with some gravy,
or maybe a spot of mustard.
Or we could force feed it to paZZa
disguised by piles of custard.

So where shall our poetry go to now,
we've finished all the bitching
lets talk of egg, or Mystic Meg
come on, my keyboards itching.

Talk of mystic meg? you must be bad
a more ugly woman could not be had!
Well, maybe it could, but that's beside the point
Mystic meg we certainly don't want in this joint!

And a joint is what I could use right now
to subside all of that horrible pow wow
that happened this week and last
bringing things back from the past.

And to add to that, to Al I was an arse
making things worse, oh what a farce
in an attempt to open up and talk
it felt more like I was spitting chalk.

But still, I intend to recitfy that today
and tell what was in my mind, what I wanted to truely say
It's not often, that I struggle to get things out
but last I did, and that's no doubt

So remember, those of you who care
to those people who help, to remain fair
don't shut them out, or keep those things
that make your head spin with a ding!

I often think netnivs being absurd,
but today he never spoke a truer word.
We all have inadequacies and loads of self doubt,
but some of us are lucky enough to have someone to sort it out.

The important things in life, aint your job, or your schooling.
And if you think that, it's yourself that your fooling.
Whats important is love, and friends, and affection,
these things will keep you going in the right direction.

So when you feel down, or missing of cheer,
the best thing to do is hug those you hold dear
it might be your best mate, your lover, your wife,
but someone that means a big deal in your life.

And whatever it is, try your hardest to say
whatever it is thats upsetting your day
coz people that love you will just stand right there
and hold you and kiss you and tell you they care.

And it really dont matter if its day or its night,
you know what to do and you know that its right.
cause love and support is our only life blood,
and its what helps us to do what is right and whats good.

YES! After one little phone call to her
it's become so much better, yes, then even fur
because she's made me feel warm inside
another reminder that I have not died.

But then, how could I die today
for that would mean I was born, so come what may
of whatever it is you choose to gleam
from what I write and how I seem

Mixed emotions are so hard to explain
like the failing brakes on your local train
and like a train your thoughts do rush
but not under the carpet with a brush

Instead they explode all over the place
and show those lines upon your face
whether frown or laugh, or cry or tear
you'll know the things that you hold dear.

Man I can see that you speak in a tongue,
that is just so like me that it cannot be wrong.
I dont care what you say, or how they all see it.
I know you're a diamond, you have to believe it.

Deny all you like that you are a good guy,
But you just cant help it, you dont even try.
Theres people on here who give you a serving,
But from that path, it is me that is swerving.

So take all those negatives and put them away,
you aint the anti-christ, not never, not today.
You defo a superstar, of that I am sure,
and anyone who says otherwise is asking for war.

Starting a war is what I'm good at
Now I'll have to go out and buy a hat
for if I'm to appear on TV as the cause
then for a moment I should pause

and wearing that hat, upon my head
I'll think about you naked in bed
but then I remind myself that you are better
in the shower, where you get a lot wetter.

As for being the anti-christ superstar,
somethings you can't change, because that's who you are
And be that I am, what I say I am
doesn't mean I have a soul to dam

So, if you today there's something you've learnt
it's don't fall in love, coz you might get burnt
but then we all know that that's had to do
when some girl becomes involved with you

Once she has her claws in deep
there's nothing more to do but weep
for you'll never escape that horrid grip
because you feel your will is like a pip

All small and weak, with not much power
like a cast up in the wind, a small flower
so if you want to become so weak
fall in love, you li'l freak!

Arisen have I to rape pillage and plunder,
I now shred your thread and drive it asunder.

You beseech my name, nay beg for my presence,
this demon rears it's head, step aside ye peasants.

I now call each of you out one by one,
to be the sacrificial flesh upon my alter of the hun.

Who is this smegma feeding pazza that would defile my rhyme?
He hath no testament to a poetic tome and his existence shall not withstand the test of time.
I will clean my teeth with your senew and bone, after feeding on your corpse which lay slain by hands of mine!

And what of this vile minxoid creature,
who hath forked tongue as her greatest feature?
Can you be so ignorant as to dance in the flames of my hell?
Can you not hear through the minds noises that death bell?
The price to be paid will be a grave one indeed,
As I devour your very dreams and slaughter your hopes seed!

I shall rest now for my hunger has been satiated and my mind is teeming...
Fare warning to thee, I shall awaken again to torment and revel in your screaming!

evilmidnite, your rhyme has met its time
dixie you are like a phoenix bird
shooting off alot of turd

you spout your shit, now its time for your defeat
of your shit i will feed you, time for you to eat
envoke your name, not did we do
netniv and minx were just making out too

if it is a sacrafice that you wish
you could use storm, for herself, she considers a dish
but do not come in here spouting your hatred for us
you seem nothing more than a zit full of pus

someone needs to pop you, for you are a shit
i can do that, you silly little twit
for my rainbow you cannot burn
with your words of fire and sacrifices, now its my turn

but a phoenix bird you will be no more
cause if youre not careful, netniv may show you the door
so go back to whence you came
before i show you what its like to be tame

my whip will rattle and then it will crack
leaving marks all over your skinny back
limping away you will lick your cuts
but not to be back, except to kiss our butts

*lol* *lol* *lol*

Nice....
Do it twice...

So Dixie has crawled out from his pit
To come back and give us all shit
But what is this I scry
Oh, I am here to make him cry

For his words he uses maladministration
His opinion we do not need in this quotation
And his attitude shows his shortsightedness
Could he be any more reasoningless.

Maybe we should burn him at the stake
Or maybe over a campfire like a snake
Upon us all, he brings his hell and damination
For him I have nothing more than condemnation.

Go you poor pup, back to your pit
Before in your eye, like a snake, I will spit
Your mouth will get you into lots of trouble
Better shut it now, before it is double.

Stop now, your boisterousness noise
Before you find yourself with liontamers lost boys
And not your way back will you find
There with those children you will surly lose your mind.

And as this poem reaches it's birthday
what has gone before is hard to say
for there have been some times of good and bad
but more fun within, is yet to be had

And as our fellows take a break
to have some, for goodness sake
lets us ponder and have a dream
of poem's with strawberries and whipped cream!

It seems that since I posted yesterday
no one has had that much to say
for as I looked on the board search
no one had come from off their perch

to write a little something new
or something that has made them stew
so lets see how long it will be
before some posts, someone other than me!

Well here I am for your perusal,
I had a day off, a bit unusual.
I had a game I had to play,
But now Im back and back to stay.

So tell me please, whats happening here?
Where did dixie go, to have a beer?
And Lion, what happened to you?
I think its been a day or two?

On netters lets not stop this now,
lets all chip in don't have a cow.
I love this poem its just fantastic,
Oh bugger, my knickers have loose elastic.

If they have such loose elastic
maybe you should start spending some plastic
and give us all a show to watch at night
but please make it something that would delight

for there are already too many ugly birds
who have the bodies of worse than turds
so make us smile, and make us laugh
make us come, and then have a bath.

On many occasions I have read many poems that tell of their origins in exotic places,
It has been well documented about glorious scenery, flamboyant living and colorful faces.

I too am in an "interesting" place to say the most, but before I tell, let me relay the setting.
Before my very eyes the dirtiest of items become pleasantly clean and so many shades and colors come to life as I do little more than sitting.

Many times these tawdry items circle about a small pool of filth only to be freed of the burdensome dirt.
Faster around and never get dizzy, their surroundings scalding and they do not get hurt.

A few of these items now enter a second cycle most of us just call it a spin;
When they finish I take them out to put them in the dryer and only now do I notice my undies are wearing a bit thin!

;)

sorry all, didnt mean to seem like a jerk
been awful busy, with this little thing called work
i see hellbent has submitted one for us to view
minx and netniv have written a few too

but what of dixie, where can he be?
dont tell me he was scared of little old me
i am quite harmless, just ask anyone you see
anyone that is, except for that twit slappy

so just a short one from me right now
but ill be back later, so dont have a cow
for the day has made me quite tired in the head
so for now i think i'll head off to bed


;) :) :D :cool:

if life is a puzzle
then riddle it well
for without life there is no living
and no heaven or hell

you need not a belief
in those mentioned above
or of god, and the bible
or even in love

look and you will see.

you will see what you need.

you will see what is inside you.

look, and take heed.

But I never take head, just strive ever forward on
even since watching that movie, the one called Tron.
I liked those lasers, those discs, those cars
so I used to watch it whilst eating mars bars.

And as I came to the end of that show
I wondered where I could pick up a cheap hoe
so onto the board is where I came
for more cheap thrils, more of the same

but were is that hoe, the one they called Dix
forevr busy, doing lots of his tricks
and so as I sit with my penny in hand
I wonder if there's a cheaper hoe, anywhere in this land?!

I say yes, there probably is,
but you'll have to go to Zimbabwe,
I can guarantee it'd be cheaper,
but I'm not that sure how much you'd pay!

Of course you could buy a very good sex aid,
and with that theres less risk of disease,
but (I've heard) you don't get the same feeling,
that up side's theres no woman to please!!

Sex Aids are a marvellous wonderous thing.
I used to own one that could talk, but not sing.
It was quite disturbing and gave me a fright
to hear an orgasming man in my wardrobe at night.

What's a poem? how'ds it work?
please explain to this brainless jerk.
Now come on, you learned this in school,
while I was in the corner for acting the fool.

iambic pentameter, 10 syllables per line
stick that crap, I ain't got the time,
I remember, I've got it, it's all in the timing,
and I think mr. shakespeare said 'bollocks to rhyming'.

I read all your poems and I'm far from impressed,
did you throw them together while getting undressed?
come on, make an effort, use that grey matter,
and pen something better than this rhyming twatter.

It's my first post and i'm a bit worried,
will you eat me alive? toasted or curried?
dogbomb posters can be a bit cruel,
but bring on the abuse, Ill use it as fuel.

So I've made my mark, I'm here to stay,
watch out, caustic comments coming your way,
gonna sit back now, take a hit of my bong,
and wait for the comments which shouldn't take long.

have i not done enuff? you want stirring up more?
i've shagged all yer mums, and _yours_ is a whore,
She's a bitch an' a slapper, an' goes like a bunny,
but don't tell her I said, cos she won't think it's funny.

what a load of fucking poo, i must have something better to do!

Actually, if my mother was a whore, I couldn't be more proud
for as it is, she just sits behind that horrible church shroud
pretending to be as saintly as cane be
and looking with that eye of "Oh my god" towards li'l ol' me.

So I reply "Yes my child" and she gets upset
because behind her eyes, she's still very wet
new to all that church stuff an' all,
she really don't like it when I ruin her ball.

As for finding something better to do
you could always try school dinners, based around poo.
And then you'd never go hungry again
because you'd be in so much pain

Not from the taste that's been left in your mouth
from eating something that's from far too way south
but because your wishing to have tried it sooner than now
and so you feel like a fuckin' sorry cow.

based around poo? that's nutritious you grommit,
our semolina was based around vomit.

well, well you little shit
fluke, so you want to be a hit
you wont be coming on like that
need to be sly like a cheshire cat

10 sylllables per line, my ass
for here, it is time we are trying to pass
we dont try to do this for a living
a little of ourselves are all we are giving

thrown together will im getting undressed?
hmmm, maybe a little better when pressed
so you can sit there and sneer and glare
do you think we all really care

and for dixie you rat
better be careful, before its your lip thats fat
run your mouth some more you bum
and they'll have to put your face together with bubble gum

thankyou kindly liontamer,
I'll resist the temptation to call you a lamer,
Your little verse is more like prose,
I've been more inspired by picking my nose.

so sneer and glare is what I'll do,
as i read these silly posts from you,
this comment may be a little belated;
if wit was shit you'd be constipated.

sorry this ones a little short,
busy boy, got coke to snort,

Tonight I really can't be bothered to write
much that could be of any use tonight
for I'm tired, and sat here trying to think
about what way to cause a stink

Instead, I want to pick up the phone
but sadly there is no one at home
to ansewr the call I want to make
so instead I'll go, my tea, to bake.

You must have been in quite a hurry,
So what you having, Chicken Curry?
Or maybe a nice pasta bake,
Are you a chef what can you make?

I really like a bolognaise
or stroganoff with mayonnaise
I like a steak, but quite well done
I dont like blood, it shouldnt run.

"It's amazing how she can right through my heart
without saying a word she can light up my dark"

and so with those words of wisdom said out loud
I know she would be able to lift this shroud
of exhaustion and tiredness, that comes without sleep
and no matter how I try, I just can't, the into dreams, seep.

So, here I am, yes once again
writing with my trusty heart of pain
bored out of my mind, for theres just want I have
and that's me from myself, her to save.

if picking your nose inspires you
then be my guest, suck up all that goo
for inspiration is what you need
i think youve been smoking too much weed

some of my posts may be silly
at least ive got more to do than play with my willy
and if i feel the need to take a shit
ill do it on your head, you little twit

so you go and snort all your coke
by the way, i hope you choke
all the way down your throat
dude, what ever floats your boat

*lol* *lol* *lol*

My boats the titanic,
and it didn't float,
when it sunk it caused panic,
among chickens and goats.

And sheep and cows,
and all the farmyard,
and little miss piggy,
who I use to make lard.

and skytz cant rhyme
because he is not in our time!

that last verse was short,
like your penis I'd guess,
and yes I can rhyme,
although my verse looks a mess

dont be so hard on it, no one has said
that the poetry has to be easily read
as long as its poetic, I dont think we care
about how it scans.
Got any pans?

got any pans
i'd rather have plans
for it seems that i have crashed vans.
so i need cans
to bulid a ship
to get me of this retched tip

tipperdy doo dah
tipperdy day,
my oh my the pop idol is gay,
what a gay day, wouldnt you say?

I'd say its gay,
but in the old-fashioned way,
as in happy and joyous,
and children at play

As I read your poems there,
it fills my heart with a moment of despair.
But then I realise that this feeling is for something done
in an argument that should have never been, that no one won.

it seems that I have this need for pain
when I feel good things just ain't the same
so if you'd like to help me out here
I could hurt you bad, until it's your life you fear.

You sound mighty sad,
old netniv me lad,
I'm sure it can't be,
all that bad.

But if everything seems over,
here you can borrow a knife,
I realise things might be getting you down,
why don't you end your life?

Because I'd rather take that knife an' use it on it's owner,
and then use it again to cut the heart from out of a donner
and then once I'd been done with all this and more
I'd slam your head a million times between two steal doors!

so many unfriendly faces
what is this place of all the places ?
seem familiar but i can't tell
is it heaven or is it hell

magic words and twisted rhymes
somekind of evil behind those lines ?
pulling numbers out of hats
feeding children to the rats

poking eyes & eating guts
are you braindead or just nuts?
seems to me like demons work
and so bitter every jerk

its time to go if leave i may
will i get just one more day ?
seemes to me that you forgotten
top of foodchains starts at bottom...

what has happened to this poem?
it's gone all nice, and i just got going.
talk of love and whats for tea,
builds up bile inside of me.

I can't hold, it's gotta come out,
spewing forth as i scream and shout,
"Stop these pleasantries you give,
before i lose the will to live".

Lets talk of rage and hate and fear,
and all the things which i hold dear,
vicious comments sate my need,
for spitefulness, on which i feed.

Xawa's words i could get high-on,
began like a lamb, finished like a lion,
brain dead, nuts, and bitter as hell,
seems you know your subjects well.

but now i see you've joined the ranks,
of witless fucks and useless wanks,
and once your manners are a total gonner,
you'll be confirmed as a dogbomber.

does it show that it's good friday?
All alone in work, it's my day,
No-one here, and nothing to do,
So i'll post crap all day, to you.

out tonight, and on the piss,
gonna find meself a little miss,
take her home and shag her rotten,
hope she looks just like Dot Cotton.

the main thing is, she mustn't be nice,
ugly as sin and cold as ice.
big fat arse and droopy tits,
talk of love gives me the shits.

I think I'm talking total crap,
better prepare for a netniV slap,
hit me baby, make sure it hurts,
but take those girly rings off first.

Hello again, I'm bored can't you see,
im stuck in work and the time's only 3.00
the boss is away and there's fuckall to do,
and my arse is hurting, (ive just had a poo.)
thought i'd feel better if i emptied the void,
but i just aggravated an old haemorrhoid.
my ring is on fire, and i can't sit down,
so i had a quick poke, but my finger went brown,
the doctor winced as he surveyed the scene,
then he lubed up his finger with jelly of green,
'relax' he assured as he slipped it inside,
'oh fuck! take it out, it hurts!' i replied.
'apart from your arse, you couldn't be fitter,
shove some of this cream right up your shitter,
you'll be right as rain in a couple of days,
just give, don't receive, when you do it with gays.'
'Now take my advice, and boy it ain't funny,
eat plenty of bran so your poop stays all runny,
and eat lots of greens, and glasses of juice,
cos it all works together, and keeps your gut loose.'
The moral i s'pose is: eat plenty of fibre,
and keep the doc's finger from exploring your kyber.

The netniV Slap, is what you can get
for a simple measely bet.
For I believe there is one thing to try
before I poke you in the eye

I want to bet how long you'd last
when streetched between two very tall mast
pulled ever so tight, and ever so taught
until there's nothing left that could be bought

I havent added to this for a while,
Coz when I do it, I do it with style
This Poem keeps growing and going and going
Its just like diorrhea, just carries on flowing

Like a great brown river, a river of words,
and some of its sensible and some of its turds.
But I love to just sit here, time after time,
searching and seeking for something to rhyme.

So roll on more poem, lets not let it squitter,
its a never ending poo that just pours from my shitter,
and lets hope that old netniv never closes this thread
coz that would kill the art form , and make it quite dead.

I, too, haven't been here in a while
Was starting to look like shit in a pile
With people posting all this poo
What is a respectable girl to do?

Who is this asshole fluke
He just sounds like a puddle of puke
I'm sure he smells like it also
At least dixie has told me so!!

netniV, you seem so mad
Did your girl leave you, that's too bad
Don't be so hard on yourself, I can tell you
That's our job, to the depths of hell, we'll send you.

But, if you are already there
Don't drink the water, BEWARE!!
It could be poison, you see
Or it could just be my pee.

So keep posting all your hate
Or maybe you should just go masterbate
Relieve all your pent up stress
And come back to us, your usual best.

You could not send me to the depths of hell
for that is magically trip to you I'd sell
I spend my days and my nights
living there without a fright

But then I come up for some air
and that is when you should all beware
for I won't drink your piss like you would
I'd sink my teeth into your neck, for your blood

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth,
And spotted the perils beneath.
Me molars were flagging, me canines were lagging
Oh I wish I'd looked after me teeth.

She was ever so very old, and wrinkly, and probably cold.
Her eyes had been closing, in sleep she was dozing,
But her hips were all diamond and gold.


And now she is no longer here
Which is sad and will bring us no cheer,
But maybe hooray
An extra bank holiday!
Which will give us more time to drink beer.


Cheers Ma'am. Nice One..

for me that magical trip i would not need to buy
where do you think we are, my angry guy
drinking the pee is not really my bag
from what i hear dixiewrecked wants a shower from his hag

and what of dixiewrecked do we hear
nothing lately, i wont shed a tear
do we miss him, not at all
him and fluke must be having a ball

hellbentstar, where are you at?
probably out playing with netnivs cat
and what of the others from whom we have not heard
probably over at the queen mums wake, eating curd

back upon my rainbow of love
you can ride too, on the wings of a dove
just remember, the shape of it all
a giant dick and a pair of balls

so make sure you ride it well
and dont choke on its huge bell
do remember to give it back to me
cause if i have to come looking for it, dead you will be

:) :) :)

I'm so Mrs. LionTamer
This excuse just gets lamer
I lost your bell, up in the wood
remeber where I put it, I know I should

but also, I can't and so it's gone away
to be somebody else's end today
they will get the wanted sex
and all you get are little hen pecks

a little hen pecked is not what i am
for around here i do the pecking, i am ma'am
better find my rainbow netniv my boy
or it is you who will be my toy

and use you i will, as my bitch
ride you hard and make you scratch my itch
put you away wet
i'll take that bet

But the only problem you will find
is making sure I don't cum in your behind
because if you ride me so long an' hard
you'll soon learn, I cum like a bastard.

why, what a dirty little boy
i have chosen for a toy
cum like a bastard you say
cum on lets play

if you can handle me that is
i will make you jizz
your head will spin and you will scream
when i make you cream

well, jeez, i think we have graduated this poem to the porn thread
only decision now is in whose bed
will our little poem go
with its hands all tied up in a bow

:blush: :blush: :blush:

Never mind it's hands, lets try it's legs
wrapped around the back with some good ol' steal pegs
and then once we've done that, see if we are fit
for some vagina massaging in a bit

mmm, wrapped around the back
how about stretched out on a rack
with hands and legs tied and bound
massaging all around

steel pegs are nice but kinda stiff
maybe like you? bet you'll cum in a jiff
if i grab your sack and lick it good
you'll be begging for more, as you should

:blush: :blush: *lol*

This kind of talk is quite repulsive,
makes my stomach go convulsive,
it's driven me to drinking gin,
thats better, now, can i join in?

I don't think they want you to join
And maybe, dunno flip a coin
That you, little fluke
Will probably make them all puke

With your foul mouth and groin
No, I don't think they want you to join
Your breath smell of booze
And your dick has some kind of weird ooze

So do you think anyone in their right mind
Would want you to join their grind
Go play with another mate
Go play with pb468

You may find him to be quite your style
Like a steaming, giant shit pile
From what I hear, his dick you'll not find
Without tweezers and a magnifying glass, to be kind

:p :p :p

Robin, oh you made me laugh so dear
to post that lovely set of verses here
for you method of using pb468
is one that might get you a date

The chocolate variety, though is what I mean
so please don't think that i'm gettin' too kean
for what I want and what I need is a big
fat rolled up filled bong, or else just a cig.

like the tube you are,
smoking
filled with tar and shit,
toking
often known to write shit,
bawking
all the girls love you,
faking
up the butt and hard,
taking
this is an odd ode but it is what i am,
making.

Where is chunkus little ode,
Where did you put it little toad?
You should be posting willynilly,
get out of chat stop talking silly...

But talkin' silly is what he do
Whilst he's trying to have a poo
and so I post here yet again
to cause you all lots of pain!

and so we bring on a big black hearse
coz were all down to a single verse
but please dont wait for the funeral flowers
I can do single verse for several hours...

If a single verse is all you can do
then maybe it's time for a trip to the loo
to dig out all that ancient crap
that landed upon your fair ol' lap

For a single verse, is beneath me still
and far more, I can do, with the power of will
but alas, will is greiving, upset and down
upon his baby ass face, a big ol' frown

just because his grandma did us all a favour
and decided no more years to savour
she popped her clogs to lower our taxes
so send her thank you notes written on faxes!

and poor old charlie, hes sad too
coz granny liz has kicked the bucket
she went to sleep at 3.15
so fuck it.

Dearly beloved we are gathered here today,
with queen mum in mind and a memory that fades.
And for every Brit that mourns such a loss
there are two that would prefer all royals toss off!

There's no love lost for royals or posters here alike
still I add my two cents for those so contrite.
My condolences to those who feel the loss,
my sympathies to those who bare deaths cross.

For those of you who are so happy to see,
another tax payers burden cease to be,
I dance with you and share in your glee,
lift my pint to toast or perhaps share a tea.

But did the taxes actually go down
or did it leave us with a frown?
for if they haven't reduced it by now
then what's the point of her dying the stupid cow

If each death, keeps the taxes up
then maybe someone is killin them with a cup
to make the money spread around less
until there's no one but good ol' Aunty Bess!

Oh hellbent where is the fence that you perch upon
you fall on neither side, and offend noone
I just love a celebrity death
It amuses me when they draw their last breath.

sitting on fences ain't my thing
(see the earlier post about my ring)
so i'll pitch my tent plainly on one side
we'd be far better off if the rest of 'em died

Just an aside to my honeybabe Robin
(I assume you're a mare by the tone of your gobbin')
Your choice of words was really sweet
are you trying to sweep me off my feet?

But know, you need not try so hard
for I'm camped out in your back yard
But now I'm coming out my dear
to fill your final hours with fear

I've had my fun with 468
I found his nob and it wasn't great
and here's a little useful news
thats where my dick got it's ooze

Im bored of hiding in the grass
I'm coming in to rape your ass
my cock that oozes, you know you love it
keep yer trap shut, lest thats where i shove it!

Oh, dear puke, opps, I meant fluke
I think you are really a kook
You really don't want to fuck with me
For I would string your ass up in a tree

So, you are the reason my security light keeps going on
I just thought there was a slimey worm on my lawn
Oh, I guess I was right after all
Come on, do you really want to take that fall?

And as for shoving you dick into my place
Try it, and I'll snip it off and feed it to your face
Better yet, I'll just give it to my pet
She'll have it for a toy, ready, get set

And light your ass on fire
Or run you over with my Goodyear tire
Either way you will be gone for good
Sleeping with the fishes for their food!!

silly girl, you wouldn't listen,
up against a wall you're pissin',
think you can outrhyme a master,
ill shut your mouth with sticking plaster.

string me up into a tree,
I'll chuck you down a dictionary,
you could brush up on your vocab,
then your verse would be less drab.

I'm using your model this time,
type any old crap, as long as it rhymes,
and p'haps this way I'll make you see,
your lack of true ability.

I only shove my throbbing cock,
in places where I'd like to stop,
some inane noise from coming out,
like the gaping hole beneath your snout.

So know your place and go and find,
a victim with a feeble mind
one on your level, you know, dense,
to match your inexperience

Cos keep on messin wiv poor old fluke
and you may get a sharp rebuke,
so far i've kept my insults light,
but once I'm settled, then I'll bite.

I've sharpened up my slut-eating teeth,
and woven you a funeral wreath,
I'll chew you up and spit you out,
So SHUT YOUR TRAP YOU SILLY TROUT!

eight odd verses, I think I've proved,
that you are a dimwit, and I am a dood,
go ask your family, and all of your siblings,
to share their 3 braincells and help with your scribblings.

It seems to me that fluke will be
all words and no action, well, lets see
for he speaks lots of big big words
but most of them come out like little turds

they stink they smell, and not very much
of what he said he backs up, and as such
it will be a while before, after Robin's done, he
will be able to find his dick, to even have a pee

He'll grunt, he'll grind, and he'll make lots of noise
but one thing he won't do, is play with Robin's toys
for now he'll have to wait to shit
as he dick comes out, bit by bit.

It's true, I cannot show you action,
over the net, to my satisfaction,
my battleaxe ready, willing and able,
has little effect down my ntl cable,
so my only weapon, words chosen with flair,
and it's those that I'm waving high in the air,
As I charge down the hill into battle, I curse,
on my sword of sarcasm, and sheild of verse,
You surely will kneel as I rent forth my power,
but I've run out of fags, I'll be back in an hour.

You've run out of fags, what a joke
and your supposed to be that scarey bloke?!
I've got mine, right here with me
so i'll laugh at you evilly!

You are to me, but a minor irritant
who tries to go on, but fails to rant
so when you have, you fags in your hand
go somewhere far away, in another land.

ok im back with fags galore,
ive spread the packs out on the floor,
Ive taken out the ten i need,
and mixed'em up with on ounce of weed.

once again i feel on top,
with my smoking armoury stocked,
so now i may just sit right here,
and laugh at u all while i smoke my gear.

sorry if im irritating,
im being nice, i am still waiting,
'till i've settled in a bit,
then I'll really give you shit.

thats a real clever insult to throw on the web,
'go far away', please stop being a pleb,
I've gone far away, left these shores as directed,
Do you think we're the only nation connected?

At least you realise how to behave
not like a troll from out of a cave
because those who are mostly new
think they can act like us, except for you

So just don't go, and try to spoil it
with any little bit of trouble, like a git
you'll get on more, if you be yourself
rather than imitating a santa elf!

easy tiger, stay in your pram,
i can't help being who i am,
been skulking since new year quite a lot,
getting to know just who posts what,

So you see I was blowed if I'd walk into abuse,
with a lovely 1st post, so I let a few loose,
I'm not causing trouble, that would make me a nob,
cos i realise full well, that that is your job.

No, it seems that that particular job
seems to have gone to a different nob
his name on here is pb468
and he's one that everyone hates

it's not for any decent reason either
like he's gone and nicked a fiver
instead it's because he's just shit
tryin' to imitate everyone quite a bit

Okay I see, I understand,
thankyou for that guiding hand,
but still you let him get away,
with posting crap here every day.

We all need friends, i do agree,
but we also need an enemy,
we all had one as we grew up,
to snarling hound from whimpering pup.

enemies help you find your feet,
when you learn they can be beat,
without them, no sabre rattles,
cross-street stares, or verbal battles

I'll try and be nice, for a short while at least,
but I'm quite sure old robin will awaken the beast,
her and liontamer, acting as one,
desperately trying to strangle my fun.

Robin an' Liontamer both together?
Something I'd like to watch, in finer weather
when both could be outside in the pool
naked and me there, with lots of drool

a video recorder over in the corner
taping them for when I might be hornier
so that I could get off in no time at all
and then have a shit, in the loo down the hall

To that I do take offence
But for my thoughts, do you give a pence
Liontamer and I are nothing alike
For she is on her rainbow riding her bike
And I am here versing with you into a mic

And for you puke, oh, I mean fluke
You are like your name, fake, a cuke
Come after me if you wish, do tell
Find you dead, they will, where you fell
Your smoke collection they will have to sell

All ten packs, I say
For your funeral they will have to pay
About the price of ten packs of smoke
For trash like you, trailer bloke
Not fit for decent folk

And as for the quality of my verse
At least I don't have to open my purse
To pay for someone elses words
Or read it out of the dictionary on how to spell birds
Every one, all my own, not like yours, you turd

Crawl back under the rock whence you came
Before you draw out more of my flame
Today, I am being lite
But be careful, because I will bite
Come on, you little worm, you can't fight
And in your heart, you know I'm right

So puke, just go away
Go ahead and make my day
Or if you prefer to stay
Be prepared, because I like to play
With my prey, before, them I slay.

My words are simple but true
So all can understand, even a dunderpate like you
But if it is a war of words you wish
Bring it on, of you, I'll make a dish
To eat at supper, with chips and fish

is it my turn yet, is it my turn yet?
is it my turn to play with our new pet
fluke, you see, the only thing that robin and i see eye to eye on
is the fact that you are nothing more than very common

other than that, netniv my dear
you couldnt pay me enough, that bitch to be near
she is much too rough for my tastes
me i like it easy and slow, with my mates

speaking of rough, going back to fluke
so messing with fire, gonna get you nuked
crazy is what you desire,
gets you burried in the mire

so you like to stalk and rape
makes you a criminal, and an ape
beat your chest and grunt
find your ass burried out in the front

do you think i can get bitchy
or did pb468 just make you itchy
you liked it over there with him
makes you a faggot, and very dim

silly faggot, dicks are for chicks
or didnt mama ever tell you that, your ass she picks
you think youre a smart ass
youre nothing other flatulent gas

*lol* :cool: :) ;)

Or dear it's seems a few feathers I did ruffle
with mention of LionTamer, Robin and that truffle
so for now I will go very quiet and depart
for work where I have lots of thigns to start.

Robin spouted:
And as for the quality of my verse
At least I don't have to open my purse
To pay for someone elses words
Or read it out of the dictionary on how to spell birds
Every one, all my own, not like yours, you turd

accusations, how terrific,
could you please be more specific,
quote exactly what i plagiarise,
then we'll all see through your lies,

you can't do it, cos the words are my own,
so stop looking stoopid and lower your tone,
and i've not use a dictionary, or thesaurus,
cos my head contains brain, unlike yours, which has pus.

so would you like to tell us which words,
i stole from someone elses verse,
back up your slander, not just out of your head,
you know that you can't, cos you're so poorly read,

to accuse with no backup, doesn't make sense,
just magnifies your ignorance,
So Ill just say thanks, for the verse that you sent,
Cos as far as I see, it's a huge compliment.

If it is, a compliment them maybe she after
a movie award, maybe one like a bafta
but that is not what she will get
when sweat from your head pours, coz you fret.

i dont sweat when i fret, it's becuase i've got rabies,
but it don't change the fact that robin wants my babies,
she can't have an oscar, or such, like a bafta,
but if she asks nicely, then maybe I'll shaft'er.

But if you shaft her, you will pay
not from her, but by the C.S.A.
They are meaner than I could ever be
so beware, don't touch what you see.

if the CSA were after me,
i'd be hiding up a tree
im not paying loads of cash,
just cos i shagged one fat ass.

so maybe there'll be less resistance,
if i nob her from a distance,
hopefully then my dick won't fall off,
from all those scabbies, deep in her trough.

But if you nob still finds in there
with all those scabs and lots of hair
then maybe it is really smalll
and you should get another from the mall.

this option has been considered,
since i noticed it had withered,
i tried on one with bells and stuff,
but it just wasn't big enough,

so now I'm stuck with what I've got,
fortunately it stretches a lot,
and with a 'milking the cow' motion,
i could screw across an ocean.

But if you screwed across the ocean see
you might end up dippin' in someone's cup of tea
and then you would be all hot an' scolded
making you take it off, and in your briefcase fold it.

nobs and hobs and cups of tea,
its netnivs world not for you or me,
so don't stray there,
you'll get covered in hair,
and you'll have to drink his pee.

You'll have to do what? Drink my pee?
And you think I'd give it your for free?!
Oh know, as you soon will see
you can only get that with a nice big fee!

well thats alright, cause I got loads of dosh,
not that I'd wanna drink anythin that came from your nosh,
I'd rather drink straight from a cows teat,
suck it hard and its twice as sweet.

thanks for the warning, I'll steer clear,
of netniVs pee, and stick to beer,
I'd like to be nice and dance and sing,
but im preposessed by my painful ring.

But wouldn't you find that whole thing cheesy?
not to mention that the cow is real easy.
not fussy as to who milks her right
provided they are done before it's night.

cheesy milk? that makes me feel sick,
I'm gonna throw up, but I'd better be quick,
cause its one of those portaloos that washes itself,
so I'd better get out before it goes 'squelch'.

netniV spouted:
You'll have to do what? Drink my pee?
And you think I'd give it your for free?!
Oh know, as you soon will see
you can only get that with a nice big fee!

a golden shower with a price?
oh, but aren't you nice
to offer up your bodily fluids an art
fluke just wants you to fart
in his face to be sure
through a hose to be pure

make sure his mouth to gag
no longer will he be a fag
wanting to suck off other boys
only pb468 can be his toys
for no one else will play with his kind
left on the sidelines, him you will find

burried under the field at the fifty yard line
next to hoffa, paying him a fine
for liter he will be
breaking the law on throwing trash out you see

I'm wondering if I should both posting
to this poem that I have been hosting.
but then I wonder if I don't
if you lot all will think you won't.

i think liontamer is after my body,
I'd let her have it if, hers wern't so shoddy,
but her big mouth, and lack of style,
are the worst ive seen in quite a while.

her rhymes don't, they're thrown together,
typed by hands with skin of leather,
soon she'll realise she's beat,
and hang her head down by her feet.

at least i suppose she's graduated,
from nursery rhymes and being hated,
so type more abuse, if your cerebrum can cope,
and then pretty soon we'll be lovers, i hope

You seemed to forget that confused you bee
so what you think of her, might not be what you'd really see
if you removed your mind, and saw things straight
then again, you might end up humping a gate.

You stupid shit, can't dish it out when someone is here
Got to post your drivel behind their back, your words filled with fear
Whats the matter little boy, oh I know, liontamer got you scared
You think she wants you, your dick will be pared

Grow up there child, quit being such a clod
Your head filled with sod
Be a man, like netniV, and you might gain
Some friends, and insults you'll fein

I did not say you plagiarised someone elses bit
Just that you had to pay others to come up with your shit
But considering all the misspellings, on that, conceed I may
So get your dictionary out today
And try to spell the word gay
For that is what you are, a pole smoker
A little faggot poker.

I dont need friends like you obviously do,
and theres a reason i picked on you,
you post very little except for abuse,
i think your brain is a little loose.

look back at your posts for a little bit,
and notice how you only post shit,
then come back and list your friends,
yourself, and then there that list ends.

I have my friends, but I keep them quite
for unlike you, who needs a friend diet
because you don't get very many at all
unless you buy them from the mall

can you not bring your insults to bear,
on something relevant, perhaps like my hair,
no you can't cos you're a witless chump,
b