Brausen
Feb 5, 2004, 19:48
Illegal Immigrant saves child from drowning
“BBC TV South West reported today that one Mr Illegib Al-Signature was apprehended by police officers earlier today on the banks of the River Severn and has been detained in H.M.P. Bollocksea. Mr Al-Signature, who was driving an unlicenced white Ford Escort van, was finally captured in a bedraggled state on the riverbank by the local police, with assistance from the local community: notably Rev. Vincent Vole and Ret’d Lt. Harry Hamster.
Mr. Al-Signature tried to evade capture by diving in to the raging torrent close by the village of In-Bred on the pretext of rescuing Lisa-Marie Press-Leigh, who had been swept from the banks when she tried to rescue her beloved terrier “Alan-Clark”, aka “Bongo”.
Lisa-Marie (12), cuddling her beloved “Bongo” said later – “Mr Al-Signature saved my life. I can’t thank him enough, certainly not to the extent he suggested while dragging Bongo and me to the bank. I wouldn’t do that even for Dai Davies”.
Mr & Mrs Press-Leigh, Elvis and Lisa, while delighted that their daughter and pet had been saved form the raging flood, had only the following to say: “We are utterly disgusted that these people can come over here and interfere in our affairs. We were looking forward to an assessed sum of upwards of £3,500, given Lisa-Maries earnings potential though her lifetime and “Bongos” stud value.
Mr Press-Leigh is an unemployed entertainer and his wife works in a topless barber-shop in Chepstow. Mr. Al-Signature’ is a qualified brain surgeon, his family is under house arrest in Iraq for ‘questioning the integrity of Ahmed Chalabi, George Bush and Tony B.Liar’.”
“BBC TV South West reported today that one Mr Illegib Al-Signature was apprehended by police officers earlier today on the banks of the River Severn and has been detained in H.M.P. Bollocksea. Mr Al-Signature, who was driving an unlicenced white Ford Escort van, was finally captured in a bedraggled state on the riverbank by the local police, with assistance from the local community: notably Rev. Vincent Vole and Ret’d Lt. Harry Hamster.
Mr. Al-Signature tried to evade capture by diving in to the raging torrent close by the village of In-Bred on the pretext of rescuing Lisa-Marie Press-Leigh, who had been swept from the banks when she tried to rescue her beloved terrier “Alan-Clark”, aka “Bongo”.
Lisa-Marie (12), cuddling her beloved “Bongo” said later – “Mr Al-Signature saved my life. I can’t thank him enough, certainly not to the extent he suggested while dragging Bongo and me to the bank. I wouldn’t do that even for Dai Davies”.
Mr & Mrs Press-Leigh, Elvis and Lisa, while delighted that their daughter and pet had been saved form the raging flood, had only the following to say: “We are utterly disgusted that these people can come over here and interfere in our affairs. We were looking forward to an assessed sum of upwards of £3,500, given Lisa-Maries earnings potential though her lifetime and “Bongos” stud value.
Mr Press-Leigh is an unemployed entertainer and his wife works in a topless barber-shop in Chepstow. Mr. Al-Signature’ is a qualified brain surgeon, his family is under house arrest in Iraq for ‘questioning the integrity of Ahmed Chalabi, George Bush and Tony B.Liar’.”