Yes I'm Bored So here are the rules...
(yes I am making em up as I go along)

Right, The part you add to the story can be as long as you like, BUT you MUST mention a Dogbomber and The word that the member before you Has commanded you to use.
Got it?

So....
---------------------------------------------------------------------

One Fine Summer evening, When the sky was littered with twinkling Stars, ANTHILLMOB was gazing at.....


(Next Member must Use word "Ashtray" AND any Dogbomber)

the ashtray on the living room coffee table with a glazed over expression. She had just finished the last of the wine and wished that Hugoagogo lived closer as she would love nothing more than to get down with..

Word to use : Expression and do not foget to mention a dogbomber

Him, Low down and Dirty.
But Instead she had to put up with WORLD OF WEIRD Who. When shagging had the Expression of a....

(Word To Use...CUCUMBER..Don't Forget A Dogbomber!)

dead person, rather akin to a zombie with the dull contant hhhrmm hhhrmmm hrrrrm noise he made, this of course was not his fault and was largely due to the fact that he liked to play with Kormiics ...

Word to use: Barometer and do not forget your dogbomber ;)

new stretch-to-fit jock strap, ever hopefull it would boost the approval barometer of his fan base. He wasn't expecting it when Sammy snuck up behind him and...

Word: carpentry & name a dogbomber. ;)

hit him over the head with a baseball bat, that he had lovingly made in carpentry class at school, taught by Catch52 who...


word: Schizophrenia

despite severe schizophrenia was able to function somewhat normally with the help of her drug dealer issac hunt who never failed.....

word: tryst

to supply her with drugs, except when he was busy having a tryst with uberminx. suddenly.....


gumption

unordinarychild burst in with enough gumption to throw condoms about, mumbling something about pickle spears and...

pendulous

milk, when he stops briefly to ask that the two cover up any pendulous body parts for their own protection, when all of a sudden they notice piercedprincess peeking out from behind.....

boorish

The Shower curtain where she was showering with Fireboy who was acting In a Boorish Fashion as he whacked her behind with the Dish cloth.

(Clockwork)

This made her giggle with delight as Liontamer tickled fireboy with her clockwork....

[Typewriter]

Orange DVD, whilst Ronin The Bomb Whacked Him on the head with his mothers typewriter, This mad Fireboy feel rather dizzy and as he fell onto...

(Aftershave)

mouse. His giggles woke the neighbours and he sent pbason to deal with them armed with ......
( deja vu )

A Nut cracker.
This gave Dogbomb the feeling Of deja vu as he remembered when...


(Pineapple)

he was younger, and netniV violated him with a pineapple. He remembered this feeling very...

Contraceptive

well as it is not very often you can say you lost your vaginity for a second time, geoneil had been kind enough to provide the contraceptives tho, he failed to mention

(Incan)

that dominoid made them based on ancient incan relics of contraceptiona and were actually made out of a

( chamois)

recycled chamois leather & a bootleg copy of the goon show scripts. Slowly he peeled of his clothes & winked at Kinky Mc Foxxy saying......

(mononucleosis)

dear lord is that the time, i was supposed to be meeting team edna to discuss his paper on mononucleosis, so i spose a quick on is out of the ....

[nemesis]

question - Kinky was about to oblige when ^Manta^ appeared, trussed up and wearing a Thatcher wig, faced with his nemesis - dominoid fled the scene showing later at...

(zoetrope)

the opening of the newest type of old world cinema using a zoetrope - this new venture was funded in part by a lorttery fund donation and by dazzla who in his spare time liked to

[horticulture]

wank over various horticultural magazines, while on the other hand there was BITEmyNADZ who....

word: miscreant

for reasons he refused to divulge, was wearing a Batman costume & holding a lubricated stick of celery. "I am here to apprehend the miscreant responsible for these crimes" he thundered, and proceeded to lunge towards tream edna shouting.........

(soap)

"Have at you and your badgers, villain! For I did slay Jabberwocky with some lettuce, mayonnaise, a screwdriver and a well placed bar of scented soap!!" before being set about by fireboy and getting his cloak ripped whilst collapsing into the gutter...

(Bicarbonate)

where some wretched wretch retched his guts out, after indecision made the decision to slip some bicarbonate in his Stella. Meanwhile, the lubricated stick of celery ended up stuck in...

gravity

a waldorf salad made by the fair hand of daze, she managed to over come the zero gravity environment of the DARPA testing grounds only to find that ...

SPAM

Kormiic's spam javelin, having worked loose, had become mixed in with the salad. "Oh...

COPROPHAGIA

..would you look at that Coprophagia triple word score" he yelled triumphantly, kicking the scrabble board over. "what the hell is Coprophagia?" Geoneil looked up and enquired. "Eat shit" came the reply. "Jesus" shrugged Geoneil "I only asked!", and he reached for his throbbing......


(stormtrooper)

ankle, which was exceptionally sore after kinky McFoxx kickeed him in it when he tried to grope her the day before. Letting go of his ankle and raising himself from the table he suddenly realised that...

(plinth)

too late...

he was still wearing his stormtrooper uniform (screwed up the last post, sorry digi.) this was especially embarassing as...

(plinth)

his erection was poking out of the troopers trousers, jemm nearly pissed herself laughing and what made it funnier was that he had tied his chubby to a small plinth and a segment of tangerine was stuck with blue tack to his helmet, not only di he realise that the stormtrooper uniform was too big for hime and that he should have worn a belt, but he completley forgot to .......

[purplexed]

spray it with tear gas. When he bragged about this, the other dog-bomber's were most perplexed. Suddenly the doors exploded inwards & in strode Cyberhun clad in a skintight PVC cat-suit. "Quick" she cried "everybody get out before the.........

(catatonic)

thing explodes. Digital Dogcow was first out the door and collapsed in a catatonic state on....

(purplexed)

hallucenogenic drugs. Meanwhile Cyberhun was purplexed by the present that she had received from....

Testosterone

a distant relative with whom she had shared many a testosterone fuelled ...

Twist

evening under the influence of Dogbombs hypnotic gaze. The twist being that when she awoke from her dream, she realised that...

Tuberculosis

Everything except the lubricated stick of celery, and the swelling on Kormiic's ankle had been a horrible fevered hallucination brought on by a savage bite from one of Team Edna's savage Tuberculosis ridden badgers, & yet still, the musty aroma of.........

(monogamy)

her broken monogamy with sniper_juan who had always warned her that if she broke their love trust he would...

fuzzy

Find a warm Fuzzy Spider and shove it up Liontamers....

(Clue)

.....ear canal. He would prefer to shove it up his arsehole, but didnt have a CLUE where it was. Still, all this tomfoolery helped passed the time till FIREBOY was released from Guantanamo Bay for possession of a very large.....

(turnip)

object that was shaped like a bomb but was infact a turnip that he was looking after for balrick who incidently was busy looking a a specialist catalogue that Marx had lent him which contained such visions as.....

(donkeys)

vibrating electric donkeys. This was nothing new to him, however he was surprised and somewhat sickened upon turning a page to find an advertisement for inflatable sheep endorsed by none other than Daidavies who, pictured wearing nothing but a pair of stockings and a smile, was hanging out the back end of said inflatable sheep whilst


(bulbous)

sweating profusely as he pumped his hot, but weak love juice into the plastic ungulate simulacrum. The broken, bloodshot veins in his bulbous eyes reminded AnthillMob of the time she had misread an AA Roadmap of the M62 & ended up......

(velcro)

In Mr Biscuits Pretty pink Bungalow where he lived with butchspangly who liked Undoing the Velcro on his...

(Coffin)

inflatable sheep who he kept in a coffin in his living room as daidavies said it was dead and sold it to butchspangly in exchange for a...

( spit )

Pomeranian that would only spit and slobber, that is when it wasn't too busy pissing on guest's trouser legs, GeoNeil however could no longer endure its strange behavior and....

metamorphosed

out bid him for it by offering a bundle of used tenners, a spit roasted chicken and a framed photograph of Fireboy & Cyberhun in a compromising position, that Hugo-a-go-go had lovingly faked in photoshop, metamorphosed from a picture scanned from Fiesta readers wives.......

(mordant)

It's value lay in the limited edition nature of the orginal readers wives issues, it was one of 200 printed and sprayed with mordant, which he had purchased because of a story in the centre pages where Goatboy described...

(Clandestine)

...his days running with the Hibernian Rangers casuals. Meanwhile, Jemm's clandestine meetings with Unordinarychild were the subject of an investigation by...

[www.ebay.co.uk]

the loacal police whose attention was pointed that way due to the photos of them that daidavies was selling on www.ebay.co.uk apparently they were annoyed with being outbid and...

(lighter fluid)

offered to buy them back in exchange for a packet of crisps and a can of lighter fluid. Dazzla however, on hearing about this immediately.....

(Buckingham Palace)

sought refuge in Buckingham Palace with the Queen, one the less well known dogbombers. The events leading to ..

Jack Russel

her joining dogbomb stopped Dazzla fire bombing Buckingham Palace and made him jump on his Grifter and peddle to salsa's house, salsa was shocked to see...

(blackball )

his blackball all swollen and bruised from the grifters dodgy seat as it squeezed out of his cycling shorts. Newrovski was on hand to apply ointment which he had already been rubbing on Salsas....

(Gibbon)

sore ankle which had been sprained ealier during sexual congress with Dogbomb in a position refered to as the "gibbon" this involves ..

Marmalade

Two stepladders, a bucket of marmalade two Shetland ponies, and a reckless disregard for personal safety and / or hygiene. Outraged by the sight of such depravity being performed in public Mrs Mary Whitehouse wrote a stern letter to Points of View who promptly dispatched Terry Wogan to interview magicguppy about his sordid role in the entire affair. However he refused to comment citing.......

(Igneous)

the 5th amendment. "Bite my nadz", he screamed as he rained igneous rock down upon the Irish light entertainer. Suddenly

(intestinal)

the Irish light entertainer, not knowing BITEmyNADZ was a dogbomber bit magicguppy's nadz. Luckily the medics were able to retrieve said nadz from the Irishman's intestinal tract, only to find that mrs shitters.....

superfluous

limited knowledge of superfluous activities meant they had to ask lintuk for advice on


(grizzly)

the best microsurgery methods to reattach the partially digested bollocks to their rightful owner. Unfortunately lintuk was blind drunk at the time, thus his answer "gaffer tape & a staple gun" was taken with a degree of scepticism, so they approached Team Edna, who’s extensive knowledge of healing injured badgers came in very useful, with grizzly determination Edna worked through the night, & was finally triumphant. The Bad news was magicguppy would never have children, but the good news was....

(Wetsuit)

that with the aid of wetsuit technonlogy magicguppy would be able to swim again and


bulkhead

at least be a seaman , if he couldnt produce none. Unfortunately for magicguppy that well known bulkhead emile zola came along and

(delicatessen)

now that the bush is beating up the ARABS edna can even go for a stroll down the local market with her minge

A) Im a HE you motherfucker
AND
B) You didnt use the word Delicatessen
AND
C) You didnt even nominate a word to use!!!
back on topic ;)

Died because he had cocksucker~trollitis and only uberminx has the cure and she was down the delicatessen buying sausages and cheese for dr nobles tea.

cauliflower

So magicguppy took a near rancid cauliflower from the back of DaiDavies fridge & shoved it up the rectum of emile zola's corpse, which Tracy Emin hailed as the greatest work of contemporary post-postmodernist art she'd ever seen, & immediately entered it as a Turner Prize candidate......

(Paracetamol)

however the entry was refused due to the fact that emile zola had overdosed on paracetamol whilst trying to relieve the rectum ache. The thing that nobody expected, except maybe postal postie was......

Burma

that the next dogbomb meet was in burma and bobotheclavnova could afford to go as he had just won 50,000,000 down the village hall bingo, the ginger ales are on me he cried aloud as he crossed off that final number two


temple

before quickly running to his local temple of the moog to give thanks to the idol of dogbomb. Unfortunately after praising his good fortune from the gods..
(intrigue)

.....on leaving the Wigan Municipal Bhaktivedanta Krishna temple, Bingo Hall & Kwikfit Tyre complex, bobotheclavnova was accidentally mown down by Cor innit on a stolen moped who purloined the bingo winnings to fulfil his lifelong dream of opening a sunbed centre in the fair welsh town of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch, where he would spend his remaining days in a life of intrigue and adventure, hiding out from the law and carving strange & exotic............

(floccinaucinihilipilification)

dildos from various types of wood. Meanwhile, back at the temple, there was a lecture in progress, entitled "Floccinaucinihilipilification is Worthless!", which was being attended by Fireboy, who had mistakenly wandered in thinking it was about pyrotechnics. Little did he know.....

(Banjo)

phallic statues of griffins and nymphs which were highly revered by Misschicago.Oh what an avid fan she was . She collected for many moons and then acting on Sniper-juans advice she took them along to the antiques roadshow for a valuation where her statues were subjected to floccinaucinihilipilification by Lars Tharp. Poor Misschicago left and
( unveiling)

walked straight in to the official unveiling of the kormiic gardens where you can pass many an hour doing



koi carp

magic tricks with a food blender, a bucket of ice and some koi carp, aided by the park-keeper and part time glamorous magicians assistant cyberhun, dressed in.....


bingo

a giant hotdog suit, advertising the local ratburger bar shouting bingo burgers get your bingo burgers, corinnit being hungry thought Ill have me some of them and


ACID

Broke cover from his obscure Welsh refuge to spend the remains of his ill gotten Bingo cash on his favourite fast food, & a bag of Bassetts Acid drops for the train journey back. Unfortunately he was spotted by a police CCTV van parked across the road & was forced to take refuge in World of Weird's garden shed, where he discovered evidence of WoW's illicit trade in........

(Latex)

Dane Bowers memorabilia, that he had built up over the years of his musical dominance. The most expensive articles being the 1998 secret photo's, of Bowers commanding his latex clad badger warriors in their failed attempt to storm Buckingham Palace, when they were thwarted by jason4004 who was.....

(scrotum)

using his patetnted scrotum defense techniques to hold them back. Meanwhile Wannebepornstar was sitting up a telegraph pole, eating...



(wankle-rotary engine)

figs, a la Derek and Clive, whilst contemplating the possibility of installing a wankle-rotary engine to buttocks of superandy, hoping to connect it to...........


chicken tikka masala

the rhythms of the universe. "The first person who can make this connection will win my hand in marriage!", cried wbps.

"What's the second prize?" asked rammsteinrainbo, with a mouthful of chicken tikka masala.

butchspangly's mouth so they could auto feed CHICKEN TIKKA MASSALA through two people, finalising the experiment in tikka to arse technology and hopefully finding a cure for .......



(blue crayon)

hemorrhoids. One man, a crazed scientist who lives in a cave, called hogo-a-gogo claims to have solved this never-ending riddle with the aid of a blue crayon. He claims that all you need to do is.............


spatula

troll-itis that doesnt involve blue crayons, dominoid had a great idea that was


bears

spanking bears with spatulas and the only person brave enough to even think about doing it was dr noble who was busy doing


woodpeckers

Things to Woodpeckers that I wouln't like to talk about.
Though when Cor-Innit stumbled on horrific scene he decided it was time to.....


(Bus)

catch the bus home and which was being driven by netniv who didnt know where corinnit lived so he took him

cheese

to see drnoble. it was at that point that an old lady, who was trying to apply some corn plasters, but could get close enough to her feet to put them on as the smell of cheese was overwhelming, flagged them down.

point

Netniv stopped the bus and got out to help, because he liked to make a point of helping anyone in distress. Suddenly the old lady sprang up and ripped off her mask, to reveal herself to be Dane Bowers. Bowers roared out his badger signal, and in a flash 1000's of badger warriors and badger-robotroids appeared and started to........

(chloramphenicol)

Treat a nasty chest infection Cor-Innit had picked up whilst hiding in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch. Fortunately they'd remembered to bring plenty of chloramphenicol, so soon Cor felt strong enough to declare his undying love for.....

(buggery)

buggery, especially when administered by the pink buffalo found at the bottom of Dazes garden. After a strenuous session, he set off to find............


Geronimo

The Fabled Lost City of Cleethorps, which really wasnt very lost, but, he figured, a hell of a lot less effort to find than Atlantis. So setting off on his trusty steed Geronimo (which is what he liked to call the stolen moped)......

(underpants)

He first called in At Geoneils to ask him if he wanted to join the search.
But when Geoneil answered the front door he was dressed in only his underpants and a straw hat.
And when Cor-Innit looked behing geoneil he noticed.....

(Buzz Lightyear)

Buzz Lightyear standing there with his penis swinging freely in the wind. GeoNeil was shocked at this and ran upstairs to inform Daze who he had been having anal sex with the previous evening. Daze on hearing this rushed to the telephone and immediately called.....

(Chewbacca)

World of Weird who was busy Playing with his stamp collection.
"WoW!" Cried Daze into the phone "You'll never guess who is here! Only Bloody buzz lightyear! In the Nuddy too!"

"So" Said WoW unimpressed "I have a naked chewbacca tied up In my greenhouse with....

(Pasta)

A bowl of pasta covering his knackers. What the fuck am i meant to do now? WoW angrily texts Hugo-A-Gogo, stating the words 'Get this fucking wookie out of my shed'. Hugo however is busy frantically masturbating over a naked picture of netniV, so hasn't got the time. Meanwhile.....

(Ali G)

Doodlebug was bouncing around Charing Cross Doing his Ali G impression, Trying to impress the Train drivers.
"I is Doodlebug Aiiiiiiiiiii" he yelled at them arms flapping madly.
It was at this point that Doodlebug noticed....

(oxford dictionary)

the word fuck printed in the Oxford Dictionary. Doodlebug was shocked by this and felt the urge to inform his local tory mp ^Manta^. Manta took this as an excuse to blame illegal immigrants for something. He didn't know what, but he is a tory afterall. So....

(Mary Poppins)

took off his Mary Poppins outfit & left the brothel to look for a taxi.......

(necrophilia)

He thought of a plan that would make sure all the illegal immigrants would return home.
All he needed was a couple of thousand copies of "Mary Poppins" on DVD and a giant.....

(T-shirt)

inflatable kebab. Funnily enough the T-Shirt he happened to be wearing said the words "Geoneil Eats Kebabs". He found this quite amusing at the time, so decided to call round at....

(Wank)

Marx's Who was busy having a Wank to Paul McCartneys "The Frog song"
When Manta came running into the room and caught him at this he.....

(Gas Oven)

Lost the will to live & put his head in the gas oven. Dogbomb heard the news and threw a massive party for everyone.....

(waterpistol)

The party was held at GuinnessMeister's mansion where Everyone danced the night away.
All was going well until daidavies (whom had had one too many sherries) whipped a waterpistol outta his trousers and declared war on....

(Pillow)

Easter Island, as he'd never liked the look of those big stone headed bastards. Fortunately the crisis was averted by Hugo-a-go-go putting a pillow case over his head and beating him senseless......

(custard)

with a dead ferret. Once he had Dai overcome, smurfsey began pouring custard into...........


moist

the moist opening of anthillmobs


bumble bee

nostril. Ant began sneezing immediately and projectile sneezed custard all over ken the slayer ,who for some reason was wearing a bumble bee costume.Rumour has it that his has a wee insect fetish but.....

(placenta)

This had never been conclusively proven, despite the vast quantities of honey he'd been seen buying only the previous day. He did get laughed at though when he admitted to piercedprincess he'd thought placenta was a character in The Rocky Horror show......

(submarine)

subversive activities. There are also quite a large group of scruffians who like to marvel at the koi carp one might see in the streams on a sunny afternoon. However today everyone preferred to marvel at bungeeboy who...

radium

scratch that...i replied to one on pg 5..sorry:(...to continue...

because the only thing he could remember about The Rocky Horror Picture Show was Susan Sarandon in her knickers. However bungeeboy was kind enough to...

my word is still radium

Play Scrabble with Team Edna who won right at the end with his word of "Radium"
Bungeeboy was so pissed off he decided to wreck havoc on Ken The Slayer who was still wearing his bumble bee costume.
As Ken noticed Bungeeboy hurtling towards him he screamed:
"No, Please! I will.....

(window)

...do anything! Please don't hurt me!". But Bungee was having none of it, and crashed into him. They both went hurtling out of the window, and landed in a heap on Ramsteinrainbo who was...

(artichoke)

standing there, waiting patiently fo Dominoid to meet her for elevensies, as they do everyday. However, Dominoid turned up late because he had been closing a deal with his suppliers for the illegal import of rare Albanian dancing midgets, who incidently eat only Jerusalem artichoke. Dominoid had to think of an excuse to tell Rammsteinrainbow, so he told her......

(countdown)

I was on countdown once! and world of weird was dead jealous beacuse he loves

SPunk bubble

Richard madley!"
Rammsteinrainbow was so impressed that she offered to dance for him.
As She took her clothes off to the beat of Bobs the Builders "Mambo number 5" She asked him
"What was the Countdown conundrum word then?"
"Oh er Spunkbubble" Dominoid replied catching Rammos skirt as she chucked it in his face.
But at hearing that word Rammosteinrainbow froze and went deathly pale as It reminded her of the time that....

(circus)

the nasty clown blew spunk bubbles at her when she went to the circus with chunkus


squirrel

(Yay! Squirrel!) :).....

Meanwhile at a secret location, Digital Dogcow was training a genetically engineered killer attack squirrel to rip out sausages tongue with its titanium razor edged cyber-teeth............

(supine)

The formidable beast was unleashed and soon found its target. After a two second struggle, it was hurled onto sausages' bed, where it lay dazed and supine. Startled by the unwelcome bedguest, Kinky McFoxy put her knickers back on and ran in terror to the safety of Gentreau's house. On the way over she passed Dazzla, who was sat in his garden, at a loose end, smoking a spliff........

(British Rock)

the size of brown clee hill the highest point in shropshire, which is a large chunk of British rock.
Now high has a kite Dazzla went looking for hugo a go go to tell him the funniest joke in the world ever.

Family

Or what he thought was the funniest joke. "That offends me as a man, a trained electrician, and an Irishman", said hugo. Then Dazzla told him about sausages' liaisons with female dogbombers: hugo pissed himself laughing. "Now that's hilarious", he said.

The sight of Dazzla and hugo laughing alarmed ...

(strawberry syrup)

Oops, missed the word family: sorry Edna. If I could edit the above I'd insert "a family man," between "electrician" and "and".

sniper juan who thought they were laughing at him. so he lobbed his bottle of strawberry syrup at them hitting dazzla square on the


clag nuts

side of his head, the impact caused him to recoil, knocking out of his hand several fresh clag nuts he'd been picking from his hairy arse to drop into Unordinary child's tea....

(Poisoned)

which despite the fact should have poisoned him, did not. This is a widely seen but rarely recognised indicator of wheilshitsers syndrom which was originally identified in Gentreau by an international team of...

KY-Lubricant

UN Weapons inspectors who had been sent in to appraise Eertamai's extensive KY-Lubricant stockpiles for possible use in biological weapons manufacture, but who had......

(nepotism)

fallen fowl of the nepotism guide lines, how was it possible for mother father and son to all be in the same platoon. This was a problem previously encountered with Dave Brown and his...

Antiestablishmentarisim

Bizarre wedding ceremony which had been condemned by The Pope, when he'd popped round to bless team edna's strange weeping sores, as an offense against God, and an affront to natural law, given the Antiestablishmentarisim inherent in.......

(wallpaper)

the vatican. The popes penchant for smoked salmon was only fully realised when he requested his inner office be covered in the stuff - not only was this imposible due to the restarints imposed by the major wallpaper manufacturers but the fishy monopoly managed by the ever so evil and slightly pungent Sphoo has lead to ..

Temple

the contruction of many unwanted and rather smelly temples in eastern europe. Luckily NetNiv had a fool proof, or so it seemed, plan to.....

forlorn

Buy a tractor off TEAM EDNA, demolish all the temples thus leaving all the followers forlorn at the loss of their place of worship.
However once he arrived at these smelly temples netniv had


hotair balloon

an unfortunate accident involving a set of hair curling tongs & a block of stilton cheese, which left horrible 3rd degree burns down the side of his inner thigh. Sadly the state of the East European economy being what it was, the only medi-vac facility available was a hotair balloon left over from a failed Richard Branson round the world attempt...

(mortician)

but just as they were about to load themselves into the hot air balloon, a mischievious looking mortician arrived on the scene announcing that he had sufficiant medical knowledge to treat NetNiv. TEAM EDNA however realized in the nick of time that the mortician really wanted a live body to cunduct gruesome experiments with, and with the help of dogbomb....

skulking

who was skulking in the corner making strange wooping sounds proceeded to hit NETNIV round the head...

use this word: existential

violently again and again until he could take no more. Overcome by the bludgeoning he feel to the floor, like Tiny before him. In a rare contemplative moment he pondered the existential nature of what he had done. Reaching into his right jacket pocket he produced the trusty forceps that never left his side and with a deft motion, akin to a golfer taking his swing, proceeded to...

(evensong)

beat the mortician into a bloody pulp. TEAM EDNA was able to calm dogbomb down. Then dogbomb insisted on going into the last standing smelly temple for the evensong led by hyperbunny. Both agreed it would be the last that odorous temple would see for after they planned to......

coagulated

hijack the speaker system and play the Dane Bowers number 1 smash hit "Buggin", at maximum volume in order to drive everyone out in a hysterical fit. However, after much consideration they decided against this course of action as they deemed it to be just too cruel. TEAM EDNA managed to come up with a better idea, that involved some coagulated milk, a rampant rabbit and.........

(pimple)

The puss collected from the arse pimples of a Welsh Male Voice Choir. But refused to divulge what the idea was, untill Dai Davies belly danced for him, naked.........

(cockroach)

like a headless cockroach. Uberminx felt sick at the sight of this and


bible

except for a strapless bra belonging to Salsa.
Dai Davis, being the show-off he was, was all up for this until he found out somebody had killed his pet cockroach who was called....

(pizza hut)

Mr Plimsole. Mr Plimsole was not your regular cockroach. He liked to read the Daily Star, watch Trisha and 'do lunch' at Pizza Hut. Dai was distraught at the news so asked Dogbomb if he knew who had carried out the killing of his beloved Mr Plimsole. Dogbomb shrugged his shoulders and replied...........

(sideways)

"It may have been Fireboy, After all I DID catch him on last Thursday trying to shag it Sideways."
At the sound of this, Dai was outraged, he decided if it was the last thing he did he was going to....

(Silk Sheets)

.........get even with the sun of a bitch that got Mr Plimsoll. He left the restaurant, only to be confronted by a 50ft Miss Chicago, dressed only in silk sheets. As he looked up, he could see...................



inserted

that she was holding Doodlebug by the scruff of his neck and threatening to set her pet mice on him.
"What did he do?" asked Dai terrified.
"He Inserted his.....

(Wolley Jumper)

THING, into my wolley jumper and its brand new" she explained.
"Fair enough" said Dai Davies
who knew how much wolley jumpers cost being.........

deftly

a sales researcher and deftly creating new ways to con the innocent consumer into buying wolley jumpers and the likes. However his shenanigans were nothing compared to R-C-M who....

tremendous

was in a state of tremendous sexual excitement at the thought of Dai performing a naked belly dance, & wandered off to question those UN weapons inspectors about exactly where that KY-Lubricant stockpile was. So it was left to postal postie to fill the awkward silence with a recital of his favorite.......

(thermos-flask)

script from "Inexplicable Icelanders" the porn film by Zapdos, whilst doing his best impression of a thermos-flask. P.P. (hehe) was able to do this and hold everyone's attention for some time until he was rudely interrupted......

unicorn

by Team Edna's tractor crashing through his front wall. "Shit", he said, "that's all I need".

"Look out!" cried Miss Chicago. She would have stepped in but she had to brush off pbasonuk, who was rapeling up her leg.

The sound of the wall obscured Misschicago's cries and the thundering hooves of the unicorn, which lowered its head as it charged into ...

Wednesday

daidavies doing a f**king belly dance ( of all things ), that he had been taught last Wednesday by salsa at the local Cuban Dancing............

( fart )

in Five Minutes, the main goal for many of the participants being not to let out a fart. Which most found very difficult, especially World of Weird, because of built up pressure from their efforts. After finishing his erotic dancing daidavies turned on the tele only to see.....

okra

ugh_tC receiving an Oscar from Nicole Kidman for his documentary, "looking for BITEmyNADZ". He didn't even feel the unicorn horn run him through.

"I'll plug it up with this okra", said World of Weird.

"Not so fast" said ...

(gerund)

Kinky McFoxxy waving a copy of the times newspaper. "I need help with this clue..six down...In Latin, a noun derived from a verb and having all case forms except the nominative..six letters...ending in a d". "Oh thats easy" said Dogbomb smugly, "its Gerund, before resuming the hearty kicking he'd been administering at the time to .....

(screwdriver)

Gentreau for the loss of his screwdriver (not the tool but the cocktail) meaning while in a galaxy far away ..

(LEMSIP)

"Aha!" cried Digital Dogcow, resuming her duties as commander of starfleet Z-21-X. We meet again, Admiral Lemsip!"

ahem .. word please ..

Digital Dogcow took out his tricorder and carefully monitored the sub neutrino backwash from the isolinear phase input warp induction manifold, He had heard rumours about the organ inverting properties of neutron radiation, so he shuddered & slipped his hands down for a quick check. Nope!, still male (gettin it yet Cor?) he sighed with relief. Just then the red alert sounded as .......

(japanese)

Digital Dogcow not only turned Japanese, but female with it. "Well fuck me" she said. "I'll be happy to oblige, you hot minx you" spurted Fireboy as he stumbled drunkenly from a storage cupboard wearing an edible loin cloth and waving a strangely configured

(chimpanzee)

Airfix model of a boeing 747, and holding hands with his chimpanzee friend who he had named lizzie borden as a sort of mark of respect type of thing.
Just then fourteen drunken

candle wax

drunken footballers piled into the room and asked fireboy if his new girlfriend (aside to Digital Dogcow: gettin' plenty of it thanks mate. I nominated my gender in my profile, suggest you do likewise. I like your posts, you're one of the better newbies fo' sho'.) was up for some group work. "We've got the lube, we've got the candle wax, let's go for it!".

At that moment the rebel fleet came into view.

(black tomatoes)

Being pursued by the evil galactic warlord kormiic
looming across the horizon, it became clear as they got near.
That due to extreme budget cuts, the new death star space station was actually made of huge black tomatoes and didnt look like a moon at all.

lawn mower

hey, whatever you want really, but make sure you visit superandy's hot spot restaurant where the menu sure is grrrrrrreat. Try the vanessa burgers or the spikey hot totty sandwiches but dont go near the koi carp soup or you'll.........

(mothership)

be stitched up like a kipper." declared the advertisement plastered on the side of Kormiics mothership.
"Hmm, this is all rather spookie" mused Kormiic "That last post made no sense at all!"

Suddenly he was alerted to a large and rather pointy

(porpoise)

pineapple car hybrid, of some sort. As he gawked, mesmorised by the brilliant smoke and fantastical light show being ommitted by the car hybrid, fireboy was pilfering his wallet out of his back pocket. Unluckily for our crooked Fagen wannabe the car soon exploded and Kormiic was brought round to his senses, he turned to find fireboy with his hand perched nice and plumply on Kormiic's very own buttocks..
"What is the meaning of this...

the word you have to use next is (horse)

A horse, a horse for my tea I want a horse shouted dipshit, who had never even been to Budapest, but had seen it on the telly.

Ikea

but the horses in budapest were all drunk on sangria and couldnt concentrate, iamatree looked in the mirror and was really shocked at the wild state of his hair, if the aliens were going to turn up soon he needed to fix it fast, if they were going to probe him he certainly need to look good. he picked up the comb from the cheap Ikea dressing table his mother had left him in her will, but wait what was that........

party hat

It was a cat in a party hat, which sounds like a dr zuess book, but really its the next title of world of weirds comic which also features an article on the many uses of


wigwam

A pair of Rik Waller's underpants as an emergency Wigwam for 170 people in the event of a sudden downpour of acid rain. drnoble was reading this when he was suddenly possessed by.......

(carpet)

the spirit of the long gone isaac hunt and started spurting all over his lovely new carpet. Drnoble felt violated and went to see the vicar who knew how to rid him of this evil troll like spirit.

cheap cider

The vicar advised him to purify himself in a bath of cheap cider but warned that no ordinary cider would do, he would have to do battle with the chavs in the bus shelter for the sacred White Lighting of St. Maude, which he would have to take to wivac to be blessed with a secret incantation written in ancient arabic HTML....

(bloodworms)

"Beware, for this ancient and secret spell calls for bloodworms, and no usual bloodworms, but bloodworms who have been near a precious and sacred virgin who has yet to defile herself with the earthly touch of a human male!" screamed the vicar, as Drnoble went running out of the church. "I know just the one!" thought drnoble to himself as he sped through the streets. "Cor-Innut! The cider shall be mine!" As he sped through the streets, he accidently smashed into the sign pointing to the bus shelter. "Perfect! My destiny is upon me!" Unknown to him, however, a treacherous being hovered near him, named SAMMY, a death dealer.......

(corkscrew)

(best read in the voice of Tom Baker)
A dealer in death, who was slightly deaf in one ear after a naty
accident involving Cyberhun a corkscrew and a bottle of lambrini.
Pushing all fear to the back of his mind Drnoble rushed on to the bus shelter of shangri la to confront the vilest subhuman species know to mankind. Pikeys

hammer

singing "If I Had a Hammer" came to tell him the Good News about Jesus. Smoke from Kormiic's burning car billowed across the bus stop. Dr Noble threw his head back and wailed, "oh, why can't I find

(boobs)

the blessed white lightning? I am surrounded by gypsie girls who want me to feel their boobs all I need is cheap cider.
Dogbomb was passing by and offered Drnoble

toasties

The one talisman that was sure to strike fear & terror into the hearts of all Pikey scum. A book. Drnoble brandished the tome infront of the Pikey tribe, & their leader stepped forward asking "ere, what fideo's dat?". "Aint a fideo, 'sa buk innit!" Drnoble replied in their native tongue. The pikey tribe fled screaming in terror, dropping the sacred White Lighting of St. Maude, and a bag of cheese toasties, which Noble donated to......

(telephone)

Gentreau, who was busking nearby. He grabbed the White Lightning. But before he could ...

(backslash)

he whipped out his handheld as he felt sure his long lost cousin from oz would be sending him an email at that very moment. Quietly, with the wind in his hair he read the long awaited message......tell Team Edna to stop being such a wise guy.....the message started but before he could read anymore he accidently hit the backslash, which unfortunately self destructed the whole scene and........

pebbledashing

made quite a mess of the interior belonging to his panties. Desperate for a clean pair of pants, he ran along the street, shitty draws and all, looking for a victim. He happened upon Ronin, who was pebbledashing at the time. He quickly...

(monkfish)

Dashed up to Ronin's bathroom and was about to pour the White Lightning into the bath to break his horrible curse when he realised he'd forgotten to get wivac's sacred blessing. "Bugger!" he cursed & ran back down the stairs colliding with Digital Dogcow, who due to the unfortunate gender / nationality change could only get work now as a Geisha girl. Politely declining the offer of the saki & Monkfish sushi she had prepared for Ronin's supper he ran outside and ......

(club soda)

met sallyride. "Do you know where wivac would be?", asked Drnoble. "Try Club Soda", she said, "that new gay bar on the corner. What's that smell?"

Dr Noble bustled past the doorbitch, Stupid Face, despite his numerous crimes against fashion. He spotted wivac dancing with butchspangly. "Aha!", he cried, holding aloft the bottle. "There are three things I want from you".

(surfboard)

"Three?" Wivac cried in astonisment "Blimey you don't want a lot do ya?"
"Whats all this about?" asked Butchspangly as he produced a Surfboard and hovered on top of it whilst Cor_Innit sang a Beach boys Tribute song.
"Well" DrNoble started to explain when he noticed something from the corner of his eye, it was Team_Edna laughing evilly as he.....

(Home and Away)

Ran an industrial magnet over Manta's Home & Away collectors edition box set. Meanwhile DrNoble's demonic posession by the spirit of the evil troll was reaching its tertiary stage. Suddenly he felt the overwhelming urge to whip out his laptop and post........

(utter shite)

complete and utter shite all over ilovehairybadgers.com which was a lovely site created by Magicguppy who, on cold rainy days would nip down to his local Tesco and.....

(biggest)

play stares with the female checkout attendants, on one such occassion she[cyberhun] proceded to open her shirt to reveal the biggest breasts he had ever seen, he promptly

[onions]

ran to the salad bar and started masturbating whilst rubbing onions all over his buttocks. A security guard was allerted and threatened Magicguppy with a ................

(chocolate speedway rider)

Rubber cock.
"What are you? some kind of chocolate speedway rider?" asked Magicguppy in horror as he tried to move some cabbage which had got wedged between his nuts.
It was at thhis time when Magicguppy realised who was serving at the Salad Bar....Yes it was....

(Lamp)

The evil warlord Kormiic. "Hahahahahahahahaha, ha ha, we met again!" said Kormiic. Had he cut out a few of the "hahaha-s" he might have got magicguppy for whatever reason, before the lamp from the studio filming this story fell on him.

"Cut, cut!" yelled Cyberhun. "Who the fuck is the gaffer on this project?"

"I am", said unochild. "Sorry".

"Shouldn't we call an ambulance?", said World Of Weird.

"Ooh, who's Mr Compassionate now?" said Team Edna.

"No, I think Kormiic's in trouble".

"Mmf", said Kormiic, which meant that he was OK.

"Does this mean we can all go home now?" said Sweet Galenas.

"Home?" said Cyberhun. "Not in your case"

(symmetry)