neildeal
Feb 25, 2004, 15:06
Very funny... (apologies to any royalists out there)
Every church, government building, hen house, out house and dog house in the
UK
has had a 'Book of Remembrance', in which the public can leave notes of
condolence and remembrance for the Queen Mother, who died on March 30,
2002. These are some of the more, um, unusual entries.
Real excerpts from The Queen Mother's Book of Remembrance:
"I think that the Queen Mum and Princess Diana are our very own Twin Trade
Towers. At last we can look the people of New York in the face".
L.Ward, Mansfield. "When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but
eventually I did. Now the Queen Mum has gone I cannot image that I will
ever smile for the rest of my life, but I will probably break that one
too".
A.Christie,Hendon. "She was one of the old school, all the remaining
royals are sh*t"
J.Clement. Grantham. "I thought she would never die, she has let us all
down very badly"
D.Holmes, Somerset. "She was a trooper and she never gave up. I remember
one time she was visiting a school and I asked her if she would like to
make a visit to the cloakroom before she left. 'No' she replied, 'I didn't
give in to the Nazis and I won't give in to the bladder'. That's how she
was, a fighter, who refused to be beaten by anything. She pissed herself
later though, it was sickening".
B. Forrester, North Yorkshire. "She was a marvelous woman, and a wonderful
lover".
L. J.Worthington, Penrith. "I am absolutely devastated, at least we could
have got the day off"
S.Wilson, Bristol. "How refreshing to be able to mourn the death of a
member of the Royal family without being accused of being homosexual".
J. Fletcher, High Wycombe. "Her death should act as a warning to others
who think it is cool to experiment with drugs".
E. Franks, Cheshire. "On behalf of all blacks, I send the sincerest
condolences".
T.Watson, Ilford. "Perhaps if we automated her old golf buggy it could
still drive around The Mall on its own and bring pleasure to the
tourists".
Y. Howell, Slough. "Once again the Queen is not upset enough for my
liking, the woman should have a bit more compassion. How would she feel if
it was her mother?"
W.Waugh, Richmond. "It is such a loss, God has shat on our heads".
K. O'Neil, Inverness. "I am sure the Queen Mum will not let this small
setback put an end to her public duties".
N. Wallace, Swansea. "I hold Princess Margaret in no small way responsible
for this terrible event"
E. Thompson, West Lothian. "Bomb Iraq for us Tony, its the only thing that
will make us feel better"
P.McGregor, Southampton. "We must do all we can, send blankets, food
parcels, jumpers, anything to help these brave souls who are queuing up to
walk past her coffin".
R. Thompson, Bath. "I have been unable to masturbate for five days, and
will not do so again until Her Majesty is buried"
E. Gorman, Derbyshire. "Good God, who is next, Geri Halliwell?".
R. Combes, Romford. "No matter how she felt, no matter the situation, she
always wore a smile. Just like a retard"
G. Hollins, East Sussex. "I remember she came to visit us in the East End
one time. She was so kind, so generous and so sweet. She whispered softly
in my ear, 'You know its not true' she said, 'you don't smell of sh*t'.
She was a wondrous person".
E.Collier, London. "Whichever way you look at it, it just is not as
exciting as Diana".
G.Williams, West Midlands. "She was one of us, and by that I don't mean
she perpetrated insurance fraud or lied about expense claims. She was like
us in a good way. God bless you ma'am".
L. Weller, Harlow. "If only I could get my hands on that fish bone right
now, you heartless bastard!"
J. Hedges, Cowdenbeath. "She had such a difficult life, always battling
against adversity and misfortune. Let us hope that if there is a next time
round she is given a life of privilege and comfort"
T.D.Wainwright, Hastings. "Up yer arse you old bint"
Mick H, London
Every church, government building, hen house, out house and dog house in the
UK
has had a 'Book of Remembrance', in which the public can leave notes of
condolence and remembrance for the Queen Mother, who died on March 30,
2002. These are some of the more, um, unusual entries.
Real excerpts from The Queen Mother's Book of Remembrance:
"I think that the Queen Mum and Princess Diana are our very own Twin Trade
Towers. At last we can look the people of New York in the face".
L.Ward, Mansfield. "When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but
eventually I did. Now the Queen Mum has gone I cannot image that I will
ever smile for the rest of my life, but I will probably break that one
too".
A.Christie,Hendon. "She was one of the old school, all the remaining
royals are sh*t"
J.Clement. Grantham. "I thought she would never die, she has let us all
down very badly"
D.Holmes, Somerset. "She was a trooper and she never gave up. I remember
one time she was visiting a school and I asked her if she would like to
make a visit to the cloakroom before she left. 'No' she replied, 'I didn't
give in to the Nazis and I won't give in to the bladder'. That's how she
was, a fighter, who refused to be beaten by anything. She pissed herself
later though, it was sickening".
B. Forrester, North Yorkshire. "She was a marvelous woman, and a wonderful
lover".
L. J.Worthington, Penrith. "I am absolutely devastated, at least we could
have got the day off"
S.Wilson, Bristol. "How refreshing to be able to mourn the death of a
member of the Royal family without being accused of being homosexual".
J. Fletcher, High Wycombe. "Her death should act as a warning to others
who think it is cool to experiment with drugs".
E. Franks, Cheshire. "On behalf of all blacks, I send the sincerest
condolences".
T.Watson, Ilford. "Perhaps if we automated her old golf buggy it could
still drive around The Mall on its own and bring pleasure to the
tourists".
Y. Howell, Slough. "Once again the Queen is not upset enough for my
liking, the woman should have a bit more compassion. How would she feel if
it was her mother?"
W.Waugh, Richmond. "It is such a loss, God has shat on our heads".
K. O'Neil, Inverness. "I am sure the Queen Mum will not let this small
setback put an end to her public duties".
N. Wallace, Swansea. "I hold Princess Margaret in no small way responsible
for this terrible event"
E. Thompson, West Lothian. "Bomb Iraq for us Tony, its the only thing that
will make us feel better"
P.McGregor, Southampton. "We must do all we can, send blankets, food
parcels, jumpers, anything to help these brave souls who are queuing up to
walk past her coffin".
R. Thompson, Bath. "I have been unable to masturbate for five days, and
will not do so again until Her Majesty is buried"
E. Gorman, Derbyshire. "Good God, who is next, Geri Halliwell?".
R. Combes, Romford. "No matter how she felt, no matter the situation, she
always wore a smile. Just like a retard"
G. Hollins, East Sussex. "I remember she came to visit us in the East End
one time. She was so kind, so generous and so sweet. She whispered softly
in my ear, 'You know its not true' she said, 'you don't smell of sh*t'.
She was a wondrous person".
E.Collier, London. "Whichever way you look at it, it just is not as
exciting as Diana".
G.Williams, West Midlands. "She was one of us, and by that I don't mean
she perpetrated insurance fraud or lied about expense claims. She was like
us in a good way. God bless you ma'am".
L. Weller, Harlow. "If only I could get my hands on that fish bone right
now, you heartless bastard!"
J. Hedges, Cowdenbeath. "She had such a difficult life, always battling
against adversity and misfortune. Let us hope that if there is a next time
round she is given a life of privilege and comfort"
T.D.Wainwright, Hastings. "Up yer arse you old bint"
Mick H, London