I know there was a thread a few months ago about do we actually get over our first love or of the similar, I couldn't find it so I've made it again :)

Anyway the reason I brought it up is because if you can find my previous thread about when I split up with my ex ( http://www.dogbomb.co.uk/board/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16989 )

Well I still think and dream about her constantly, I cant seem to rid myself fully of the emotions and thoughts I have for her :( I miss her so much and at this present moment Im not over her.

So do we really get over that first love ?

Yup, its a long process but you naturally just develop your life and fill the hole they left, then you find someone else.

:stupid:

Though I still think about him sometimes, 26 years later.

I'll see your 26 and raise it 10.

Vicar spouted:
I'll see your 26 and raise it 10.

Only 4 1/2 years here. I'm obviously not emotionally retarded enough. ;)

It's not even a 10th of your 4 1/2 years for me, and whilst yes there will be new people and things filled in, I won't be getting over her, as I have no intention of just trying to erase feelings.

I know that due to some of the things we've been through and that we are still friends, she'll always have a part in my life. But then I guess I'm lucky that way.

I am 100% happy with my bloke now but not a day goes by when i don't regret the complete nobheadness that lead to me breaking up from my first love. And that is 10 years and a failed marriage ago.

Bumped into him a couple of years ago and was nearly sick. I wish i could sort it out with him.

no, I don't think you get over your first serious relationship- its not even about love sometimes- you may not love them anymore, but a part of your brain is still in "What if" mode- especially if you were dumped, or things were unresolved when you split.
It's bad when you start making comparisons because it makes it even harder. I think feelings fade, but they never really go away.

I definately got over my first seriously long term relationship... :-D

I have a cold, black heart with no room for human warmth and fellowship. I was over my first relationship three hours after it was over.

netniV spouted:
I definately got over my first seriously long term relationship... :-D

Yeah me too. Took a while though. But now i rarely think about the little bitch.

Just trying to get over my last bird at the minute. Just got to make my self hate her!

I don't think I could ever hate my ex, and I certainatly wouldn't force myself to hate her just to get over it, though it would be impossible for me to hate her :(

You'll learn grasshopper
:)

I split up with the EX last september and find that only now is she starting to fde from my memory.
This to me is great as now I can move on.

If you give it time you wont ever forget her but the memory will be less painful to livre with.

Its funny cosyou dont forget you kinda forget and forgive...*shrugs*

I fell in love when I was 17. The romance lasted about 6 weeks then the shallow cunt left me because his mates didn't think I was pretty enough.
I married his best friend two and a half years later but I always carried a torch for Steve.
Advance 14 years into the future. Hubby and I travel around Australia with his job and finally land back where we started. Who should we meet but Steve who now has a couple of kids and a wife who has gained a lot of weight. I'm still tiny at this stage in my life so the superficial bastard does everything he can to try to get me into bed with him.
Well it took me a hell of a long time but I finally realised that I was better off without him and I thank God the relationship never took off.
So am I happy now? Of course not. I'm married to a stupid geezer who thinks God is calling him into Ministry, and who spends all his time and money on Bible College Courses. Some might say it is very noble of him but after 4 or 5 years he still hasn't even grasped the basic doctrines of Christianity.)
So did I get over my first love? Let's say I have gotten over LOVE in general. Who needs it!

I have just come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as love. Replace love with "need". Its just where you happen to be at that moment in time. :)






it's a fallacy i tell you!

That it definately is not. As it's something that lives with you for your life.

Not necessarily. Its only an emotion.
There are so many definitions of love, I suppose it is what you imagine it to be- there have been a number of occasions when i thought I loved something or someone and then I realised I didn't. Its just at the time I thought I did. What we commonly refer to as love can be very transient. Or it can last a long time because you are used to loving that thing person or pet or whatever. It becomes a habit, something or someone you need and miss when they are not around. At this moment in time, I don't "love" anyone, I care for my family and love them because they are my family, but thats it. And I am more or less happy.

people seem to think that if you love someone you love everything about them.

i'm sure when you say you thought you loved someone and then found you didn't it isn't a case of you didn't. you just realised you didn't love them for the reason you thought you did.

postal postie spouted:
people seem to think that if you love someone you love everything about them.

i'm sure when you say you thought you loved someone and then found you didn't it isn't a case of you didn't. you just realised you didn't love them for the reason you thought you did.

Now that is DEEP.

I'm 'over it' with any of my past relationships, but I'll always have very fond memories of my last one as it was by far the best I've ever had.

He taught me that it was okay to just say what was on your mind, that he won't go mental if it's not to his liking but talk it through with me and figure out a way that will make me change my view for the better.

It would be anything from how I dislike his shoes to how I feel about our future together.

The good thing is that this approach helps with my new partner who isn't used to women being so open with him and very much appreciates this part of me.