Heidfeld - Pantano?
Heidfeld - Glock?
Heidfeld - Verstappen?
Pantano - Verstappen?
Glock - Verstappen?
Glock - Pantano?

Seems the money strapped Jordan team is testing Dutch has-been F1 driver, Jos Verstappen but who will he replace?
For the last couple of weeks the rumour mill has tipped that his 'Trust Computers' sponsorship money will secure him Nick Heidfeld's seat, but the latest story is that Pantano's sponsor, an Italian clothing company, refuses to cough up the dosh because the rookie is proving to be a shit driver.

So, sports fans, who will get the yellow cars? Will Michael Schumacher win 6 in a row? And will Kimi Raikkonen's McLaren blow up again?

so who is this kimi raikkonen who is the focus of so much ill wil? (first i thought porn, then i read the f1 reference and thought, hmm, probably something to do with racing)

Mariska is in love with Kimi and wants his babies but alas he keeps spurning her off in favour of Ralph Schaumaker.

the trouble with f1 racing its more like a game of follow
the leader.

hardley any overtaking.
and no exitement.

you need to watch motorcyle racing for thrills and spills .
you never know who will win.
theres overtaking galore with the lead changing all the time.

oo yes ,

the german guy will win the f1 race , same as allways..
he will be world champion, as usual
and ferarri will be the top car ....

netniV spouted:
Mariska is in love with Kimi and wants his babies but alas he keeps spurning her off in favour of Ralph Schaumaker.

He only looks 14, with acne to match. I doubt that he's got it in him to make babies.
I should have known that the 'engaged to Miss Scandinavia' crap was all a ruse to divert us from his real love. Thanks Netters. Totally insightful as ever.

So who's driving for Jordan this weekend then? Anyone got any ideas?

Montoya will win Monaco
Kimi will blow up and cry (I hope)
Schumacher will be second (gutted)
Coultard will be 6th ( he always is)
Jenson will be third after leading in practice

Marleyb the best thing about bike racing is watching them fall off.
F1 is about speed, set up and pit stops a fine balance in all these is far harder than you think tactics are the key.
The "german" only wins because he is the best driver,Why cant ruebens keep they same pace? And dont give me team order shite. Ferrari have worked long and hard to get to where they are. remember the 90's?
Nobody moaned when hakkinen (spit) was topdog.

so do you think the german would still win every race if they put him in a different car ?

i think it would be better if the put the drivers names into a hat and had a draw to see which car the got every race.

He doesnt win "every" race and his name is Mr Schumacher, or dont you like "Germans"?
but Yes he would he won his first title in a benneton and they were shite.

Raffle drives? now thats just stupid.
when foggy won "everything" bet you didnt whinge and moan then

Team Edna, I KNEW you were a man of discerning taste from the word 'GO'.

Just been reading Morgana's emails again and it looks as if the answer to my first question is 'Heidfeld - Pantano'; much to the annoyance of Heidfeld who would rather be paired with Verstappen (probably because he doesn't knock over bollards and leave them in the middle of the track for Heidfeld to negotiate his way around, like Pantano does.)

But it's still only Wednesday and a lot can happen in 4 days.

My tip top tips for this weekends F1 fest.

Everyone will be talking about Coulthard, since he's won it and lives there. But if the McLaren is still shite, then he'll end up crash'n'burning out.
Reckon Raikkonen will do a Hakkinen and lose a wheel down that long straight.
Jenson will either come podium or blow his car up trying too hard.
Montoya will most likey drive either himself and/or several people off the track.


Schuey will romp it, barring any ding dongs with other track people.


I reckon it'll be between the Benettons, as they've fantastic brakes and acceloration and Ferrari since they 0WN 3v3ry1 it seems.

Peter Andre?

How soon is it feasibly possible to have won the championship outright? Somehow, I can't see it being that long. As for who is going to drive for Jordan, it wont make a rats bottom of difference, they will still be unlikely to register a flicker of interest from ITV unless they happen to be "Meet The Team"ing Jordan this week, but I suspect its Tony Jardine they are doing, and therefore we will see little to nothing about Jordan as usual. Minardi gets more coverage.

my mate at the beeb is going there. jammy git.

Im gonna put five whole english pounds on silverstone(this year) being Jensons first win.

just the thought of him top of the podium at silverstone brings a lump to the throat

Almost anyone and everyone will be shagging Jordan this weekend, same as any other weekend. Like the F1 guys, they'll end up back with they started.

Picture floating around on an F1 board of Pantano being carried off on a stretcher. Another pesky bollard perhaps? Could be the car with the black camera mounting is up for grabs again.

pardon? spouted:
Peter Andre?

You beat me to it! Great minds think alike. :))

edna

who said i didnt like germans ?

not me...

i thought the german guy had won every race this year ?

no matter what f1 is still as exiting as watching paint dry..

everyone knew before the season started who would win and what car would be the best..

edna

who said i didnt like germans ?
When I die I want this to be on my headstone, or my last words. Fucking priceless.

Dont forget everyone, its back to back races at the moment so there IS one this weekend :D Its the Nerdburgerring.

i stand in the corner with the dunces hat on
seen as the german guy never won...................

( i call him the german guy as i cant spell shoe maker )

Since I started this stupid thread in the first place and the Michael Schumacher forum is down for repairs I'll treat you to the latest *groan - must she?*
Verstappen who was going to test next week with an eye to replace Pantano (whose sponsors are slow with the payments) or Heidfeld (who doesn't even HAVE sponsors) has found that he is just too bloody fat to fit into the cars. Ah well, back to the drawing board.

Yes, I was very disappointed the German didn't win 6 in a row, especially since the other German did a good job of holding up the Italian and the Spaniard who were trying to lap him while the German caught up. Unfortunately the German got taken out in the tunnel by the Colombian; but at least the other German (not the brother of the German who shall be referred to as the OTHER other German) finished 7th, which puts him 1 point ahead of the Fin - smarmy bastard - who thought he was going to win ALL the races this year.

This race report was brought to you by the Australian - the one who used to be English.

This weeks results will be
1:Schumacher M
2:Button J
3:Alfonso F

It looks like Culthard is going to be driving the T-Car which will make things interesting for him as it hasn't been raced at all so far. The BAR cars do seem to have got the fastest times in the first session.

Sato just qualified for Pole... which has been a surprise sort of. Missed part of the qual session so not sure if it's over yet or not.

netniV spouted:
Sato just qualified for Pole... which has been a surprise sort of. Missed part of the qual session so not sure if it's over yet or not.

Can't get into my favourite F1 site at the moment. In the process of re-locating somewhere.

Sato will probably blow up, hopefully taking Raikkonen with him.

We know how much you fantasise over Kimi :)

Sato did so not qualify for pole. Pay attention. He was fastest in first qualifying, which meant he went out last in actual qualifying. He did do quite well though ;)

BRUM!

What do we think of the proposed rehash of qualifying that they are planning to bring in at Silverstone? In case you didnt hear, the plan is for the drivers to have 2x20 minute qualifying sessions where they clock six flying laps. The aggregate time of these laps will position them for qualifying, and they will now be allowed to refuel before the race.

Good idea? Bad idea?

Well, if they didn't refuel before the race they would end up flying into the pits within a couple of laps without doubt on the main race. And for your information, he did get pole when I posted that, but he was subsequently piped ! I was listening :P That was on the second session. Either that or I got the names mixed up again :D

That said, Trulli is in for some fun time as he has apparently lost his voice which will make driver communcation very very interesting...

netniV spouted:
Well, if they didn't refuel before the race they would end up flying into the pits within a couple of laps without doubt on the main race.

Which is what is happening at the moment. The current qualifying doesn't show who can do the fastest lap, but who has the least fuel.

We know how much you fantasize over Kimi.

Netters, I fantasize over YOU more than I'd consider fantasizing over the feckin' Fin.

Just heard on RPM they are STILL fighting over the qualifying rules.

netniV spouted:
And for your information, he did get pole when I posted that, but he was subsequently piped ! I was listening :P That was on the second session. Either that or I got the names mixed up again :D



Don't make me come over there.

Let's clarify. Sato was fastest in first qualifying. This does not put him on pole, it lets him go last in the main qualifying session. By the law of the previous sentence, Sato then went last in main qualifying. If his time had been good enough to put him on pole, he would have been on pole, because he went last and couldn't have been beaten.

I'd go with your names theory ;)

All much of a muchness now though coz BRUM! happened already. Nice blow up again Kimi ;)

Not only that, but how the fuck does he blow it up only minutes after LEAVING the pits because he clipped his front wing !!! I know someone on here was pleased by it all :)

He does it, by driving for McLaren Mercedes ;)

lol. Well, can't exactly argue with that one now can I !!! It was nice to have a look around the Toyato place before the race though. Did you find the race that exciting though is the question ?

netniV spouted:
Not only that, but how the fuck does he blow it up only minutes after LEAVING the pits because he clipped his front wing !!! I know someone on here was pleased by it all :)

Hmm. I wonder who you could possibly mean.
Supposed to have been several great battles between Heidfeld and various other drivers; like him really closing the gap between himself and Kamakaze Massa. (Didn't get to see any of it on TV though, but they DID show his pitstops.)
Can't wait to see Raikkonen and Montoya in the same team next year. They'll both take each other out on the first corner and we won't even have to wait for their engines to blow.

(Great result. Won't have to change my sig. this week then.)

Anyone would think that your protesting so much you wanna marry the fella... :)

netniV spouted:
Anyone would think that your protesting so much you wanna marry the fella... :)

Sorry Netters. Can't marry you. You're a total fox but you're a bit young and you live too far away.

that just makes me wonder how old you think I am, and how old you think Kimi is (though you can probably find Kimi's birthday easier).

netniV spouted:
that just makes me wonder how old you think I am, and how old you think Kimi is (though you can probably find Kimi's birthday easier).

Not a problem. Kimi's birthdate (17-10-79) is on the F1 Calender in my toilet along with every other driver's DOB. (I only get out the Champers for the one born on May 10th though.)
Unless you are Dorian Gray and have a portrait aging disgracefully in the attic I'd put you around 30, give or take a year or two.
Still think you look like Lars Ulrich going by that avatar photo.

OK it's Montreal tonight and the Irish Eddie Jordan has dumped Giorgio Pantano for another Irishman, Tim O'Glock.
(make that German - Timo Glock.)
The Ferraris are only 6 and 7, but that's better than the McLarens who are only 8 and 9.
Ralfie Boy is on Pole.
Who's going to win?

____________________
Heidfeld for Williams next year? It works for me!

Who's going to win?
Bernie Ecclestone. All the time. There are no upsets, no underdogs.

When it is more exciting to race against nobody than to race against competitors, when tyre changes are the most exciting and skilful aspect of the game, you know it's a vast waste of time, money and other resources.

That's why F1 isn't a sport.

Let's clarify. Sato was fastest in first qualifying. This does not put him on pole, it lets him go last in the main qualifying session. By the law of the previous sentence, Sato then went last in main qualifying. If his time had been good enough to put him on pole, he would have been on pole, because he went last and couldn't have been beaten.
You know a pasttime is wank when you have to go on like that. I haven't read something so convoluted since the last time a rugby league player tried to explain why no means yes.

If you have no interest in the subject matter, why bother to comment?

If you applied that rule across the whole site it would be very dull indeed. As dull as the commentary from that guy whose nasally voice was tuned to match the engine pitch of the vehicles driven by these dull, dull men in the service of the greater glory of Bernie.

F1 is only interesting in the sense of working out what else, what more productive things you could do with all that time/ money/ bikini babes/ other resources.