I am gentelman, a remoresless english football fan bater. Well, good humoured at least.

For the Swiss match I got myself a huge bag of mini toblerones that I was going to hand out to any english fans I met had they been beaten by the Swiss. The best laid plans of mice and men, yadda yadda. We all know the score.

Anyhoo, I'm wracking my brain to think of a Croatian based wind up tool for the impending group decider.

The best suggestion I've had so far is to go around with a blue UN helmet wearing a checked tablecloth. I too think this is a bit weak.

Any suggestions???

maybe you should stay at home and wait for us to get knocked out

Get into the spirit of it son

Oh alright then.

Just did a google search for some comedy inspiration. No joy. Just got a bunch of maps and the odd cheeky lady.

Weak? That's genius. I did a :google: search as well and turned up nowt but pork, beef, goat and bread.
Beats me anyway. Scampi is big in Croatia, so you could always break out the scampi fries or scampi and lemon nic-nacs, but that is really weak.

The Scottish sun and a few Scottish radio stations have embraced Croatia as their team for the tournament. Several Croatian nationals staying in Scotland have been given a brief spell of fame and patriotism as the flag has been given away as bumper stickers etc.
The Croatians seem to have taken this in good humour, though they obviously don't realise that a Scottish support is the kiss of death.

You could hand out small glass condiment containers ...

Or plant landmines outside pubs where they're watching the game? I understand that Croatia has the largest concentration of unexploded land mines in mainland Europe.

You'll priobably be arrested under the Prevention of Terrorism act, though. And any comedic resonance that the prank may have will probably be drowned out by the horror of corpses, blown-off limbs and walking wounded.

A salient point Mr Dazzla.
I shall cancel the E-bay bidding process