Right, this isn't good. We're about to have a new kitchen fitted, and the room is quite bare at the moment.. we've got a few loose floorboards.

I have just this moment discovered that there's a fucking rat in the kitchen. You might think, 'so what? invite it in for a cup of tea!!'... however, I am shit scared of the nasty little fuckers.

The cat has just ran off from a spider, so he is of no use to me..

Noone else is in.

I am hungry.

What the fuck do I do???

Got a tennis racket?

A tin of WD40?

Hairspray and a lighter?

I reckon, put on some seriously heavy boots, get suited up in a big coat, gloves, etc and stomp through. Wee bastard will run for his life.
As for a long term solution, feed the rat cat food, that'll get the cat riled enough to do something about it.

http://forums.**************.com/showthread.php?threadid=1107178&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

Obviously not allowed to link there, but it was an article about making your own flamethrower.

A garden fork is a good implement, but if you're gonna use a shovel, use it side-on. If you hit them the other way they just flatten out. Most ironmongers sell rat-traps, try one.

Further studies have revealed it's actually a mouse, and not a rat.

Is it sad that I am still scared?

I get field mice in my kitchen, and I'm three stories up!
The only thing I've found that does the trick is D-Con poison pellets. Glue traps with a little chocolate, or peanut butter catches them, but they are still alive, and have to be desposed of, squeeking their little hearts out.

set fire to your house.

Nah, haven't you seen Mousehunt? The little beggar will still be alive and kicking.

How can you mistake a mouse for a rat, Uno?

There's a rat in me kitchen what am I gonna do?
There's a rat in me kitchen what am I gonna go?
I'm gonna fix that rat thats what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna fix that rat...

Problem solved. Thank Ali Campbell.

a saucer of anti-freeze, etyhlene glycol will get rid of both the pests.

put on a mouse suit and mingle with it.

then betray its trust and yank its head off.

poor mouse. cfatch him in a humane trap and let him go outside.

block the exits, and then get some big boots and play mouse stamping.

Further studies have revealed it's actually a mouse, and not a rat.

Is it sad that I am still scared?




Yes... VERY sad...

... but understandable. I hate mice. As soon as I see one I'm standing on a chair.

How can you mistake a mouse for a rat, Uno?

Because it looked like one. However, the next door neighbour has recently had a problem with mice, so that makes me think it is just a mouse. It's fucked off somewhere now.. think it's gone back under the floorboards - which I have spent 2 hours covering up.

I used to keep rats and mice a few years ago... despite what most people think, they are quite loveable and loyal.. Plus they never went mad when the post came in the morning...

They're loveable in a cage, but when they're loose in your house they shit everywhere, eat things and therefore must face an excruciating death.

They're loveable in a cage, but when they're loose in your house they shit everywhere, eat things and therefore must face an excruciating death.



Same could be said for the kids....

Since the floorboards have been covered, the mouse/rat hasn't re-emerged. However, the cat is spending tonight in the kitchen just in case the little fucker makes an appearance. The cat will do doubt destroy the kitchen and shit itself should a mouse/rat appear, but it's time the lazy little bastard earned its keep.

pardon?

brilliant song ......

maybe unordinarychild doent like ub40 ...

maybe unordinarychild doent like ub40 ...


He wouldnt be the only one !!

Yet more further studies have revealed it's likely to be one of these (http://www.ipmofalaska.com/files/housemouse.html) fuckers.

Heh, was quite funny after the initial shock yesterday... my brother and sister returned home from whence they came (wherever that may be) and I filled them in on problem/situation and they both disappeared into the kitchen.

5 minutes later, I hear no noise and wonder what is going on. I open the kitchen door to find my brother and sister at either end of the kitchen ready to lay their furious anger upon the mouse should it be tempted by the slice of dairylea that is on the floor.

How I laughed.

harmless....i have to catch a few a week that i save from my cats...just corner it and grab its tail,then put it outside..by the way,hold it quite far up at the thick end of the tail cos if you hold the tip its quite common for the skin to come off which must hurt them...and remember,its more frightened of you than you are of it..

Just make sure there's no food about for it to nick (including where it can chew through things and nick stuff) and it'll get annoyed and leave. Living in the middle of nowhere always ensures we have about 7 million counts of various woodland livestock in our house at any one time.

It would help if we had a cat that would keep the problem under control. However, he is a lazy fat fucker who just eats and sleeps all day. Yesterday before the mouse incident he had ran away from a large spider...

Cats are the crappest animals going. Selfish, greedy lazy little bastards who are always tearing my bin bags in the hope of some food. You'd think they could at least do what they are intended to do (i.e. do their job in the food chain) and eat mice.

There's a rat in your kitchen? Maybe the pop group UB40 could give you some advice....

my mate had a mouse problem at the weekend. the fucker ate through the wiring of the dishwasher causing the motor to catch fire. mousey got burnt to a crisp.

Just ignore it - we had one a while back.
Make sure there's no food available for it, no crumbs down the backs of things etc and it'll fuck off next door or to wherever it can find food.

We invested in a cat when our house got infested with mice (fucking hundreds of them). My room was the worst and the moggy used to take out* at least one each night.


*Have you ever seen a cat eating a mouse? Fucking bizarre. The cat would pin the mouse's tail down with a paw whilst getting into the pounce stance. He'd the let the mouse go and quickly grab it again, repeating this several times. After the mouse got knackered, in it went. Head first. A few bones crunch and mouse's tail hangs out the mouth for a second or two, making the cat looks likes it got a snake's tongue. Gross.