Girls how do you handle the situation if your boyfriend cheats on you?

cut his dick off with a knife.

I would say, "why didn't you say anything?" and then leave the relationship. This is because I would rather be told, then find out myself, I think.

I wouldn't get angry, because the damage would already have been done and so don't see the point in going ballistic.

duct tape him to the floor, and nail his balls to the floor as well, start the house on fire and tell him to make the choice..... :D

I would say, "why didn't you say anything?" and then leave the relationship. This is because I would rather be told, then find out myself, I think.

I wouldn't get angry, because the damage would already have been done and so don't see the point in going ballistic.
Not that I'd ever cheat, but I find this option to be vastly superior for some reason.

:)) Liontamer.

You could show him the door (which I have done in the past), forgive him, but can you stay with someone after they do that?
If they bring you flowers and apoligise, do you accept them and then have a period of three months where the only physical contact allowed is them performing oral sex on you? :))

Guys why do you do it? Are you bored? Too drunk?

You could show him the door (which I have done in the past), forgive him, but can you stay with someone after they do that?
If they bring you flowers and apoligise, do you accept them and then have a period of three months where the only physical contact allowed is them performing oral sex on you? :))

Fuck that! Been there, done that! I say, BURN 'EM!!!

Although cheating on someone in a comitted relationship is a really fucked up thing to do, do you really think it warrants mortal violence?

Would you not just be able to accept that if your man was going elsewhere, there was something wrong with the relationship and it was doomed anyway?

i could never cheat on someone and thats final !!

Some people don't think it's a big deal though. My best friend used to cheat on her boyfriend, but said it didn't matter because it didn't mean anything. She would act like she couldn't help it. "Whoops, I must have slipped on something and fell on his cock!" :))

Cheating's not good.

I don't know why it's more common in males.....but it is.

Dump his lame ass. If he does it once, he'll do it again. Who needs the paranoia? Find a decent guy. They are out there. Unless you're in need of drama in your life.

I've never cheated and never will.

As for cheating boyfriends...Well I've never had one (Which I've known about) and I like to think if I did have one I would dump him yet that "special someone" no matter what he does, will always fuck up your brain and make you forgive him....

My first reply in this thread was filippant, but this is how i did deal with it.

I found out said guy was married, so I went and told his wife. She kicked him out and he came running to me. I stopped with him for a while until I found out he was still screwing about, so then i stole all these letters and photos he had of other women ( I found them in a book I was going to read, they werent hidden anywhere private) and sent him packing. I worked on the basis that he wouldnt want to risk asking me for them incase i didnt have them and he had mislaid them.

Then, when I was no longer on offer he went crawling back to his wife, and i sent her a few of the letters. She kicked him back out. We went through this cycle for ages, then he had a stroke and i thought you can't fuck with the disabled :) In the meantime I had shagged a few of his mates aswell, which served to wind him up more than anything else.

Mine got a bit on the side while he was working interstate. He insisted it didn't mean anything. I'd just become a Christian when I found out so I forgave him. Unfortunately it destroyed all respect I've ever had for him.
(I wouldn't 'give him any' until he'd had a thorough medical check up to make sure he hadn't caught anything off her.)

Smart move mariska.

I think id just walk straight out.

I dont have time for guys who think its ok to treat me badly, i deserve better, and so do most women ( all the women in here certainly do :) )

Although cheating on someone in a comitted relationship is a really fucked up thing to do, do you really think it warrants mortal violence?

?

Good point. I know you're joking ladies, but there's a very valid point here. Why is it seemingly acceptable for women to wreak a violent and bloody revenge on their straying men (I'm thinking John Wayne Bobbit here - that woman was turned into some kind of hero)? Have a look at the thread and try to imagine such remarks being made by a man. Just imagine if a man said "Well if my missus strayed I'd pin her to the floor and cut her fanny off". There'd be uproar, and rightly so. Yet it seems acceptable - nay, a good old laugh really - for women to make flippant remarks about assaulting their partner. Ha ha ha.

I am not condoning violence in any way, but statistically, men are generally twice as likely as women are to cheat.

So does that make removing their genitalia justified?

Absolutely not. However, if it is occuring to twice the amount of women, there will be a larger variety of responses.

my first reaction was to say kick the fucker out ,but then i remember years ago cheating on a long term boyfreind...I really did not give a shit about his feelings ,the relationship had become too mundane and boring.When he found it it almost destroyed him and it made him ill for a very long time. I have never been so ashamed of myself in all my life and it was like a massive kick up the arse to see how much my selfishness had almost ruined someones life.....i have never cheated on anyone since and never would do ever again.

Good point. I know you're joking ladies, but there's a very valid point here. Why is it seemingly acceptable for women to wreak a violent and bloody revenge on their straying men (I'm thinking John Wayne Bobbit here - that woman was turned into some kind of hero)? Have a look at the thread and try to imagine such remarks being made by a man. Just imagine if a man said "Well if my missus strayed I'd pin her to the floor and cut her fanny off". There'd be uproar, and rightly so. Yet it seems acceptable - nay, a good old laugh really - for women to make flippant remarks about assaulting their partner. Ha ha ha.

Although, what is worth. Physical violence or mental torture, which I consider cheating to be?

I dont condone physical violence, but can understand in some circumstances how men and women are driven to it.

Although, what is worth. Physical violence or mental torture?


In these circumstances, clearly the latter. A "broken heart" and all its attendant problems (lack of confidence, difficulty in trusting your future partners etc etc) are all problems that can be overcome given time. Having your penis hacked off is, erm, not.

I am not condoning violence in any way, but statistically, men are generally twice as likely as women are to cheat.

Statistically, maybe. In my experience however, that's bollocks. I'm sure other men can say the same.

In these circumstances, clearly the latter. A "broken heart" and all its attendant problems (lack of confidence, difficulty in trusting your future partners etc etc) are all problems that can be overcome given time. Having your penis hacked off is, erm, not.

I wouldn't say so to be honest. Its not automatic to survive a broken heart. Not for everyone anyway.

Ok. But I wonder if you'd be defending such behaviour if we were discussing the story of a man who hacked off his girlfriend's tits and pussy for cheating on him. I think we know the answer.

prepares Crimbo music

Ok. But I wonder if you'd be defending such behaviour if we were discussing the story of a man who hacked off his girlfriend's tits and pussy for cheating on him. I think we know the answer.

But that is making a presumption on how I would think, which I would like to say is wrong. I wouldnt like hearing about it, but I could understand why he had done it, heartbreak is an awful thing which people underestimate.

notice to all crazed loons:
it is never acceptable to hack body parts off current or former partners whatever they might have done

if someone cheats on you, leave, simple as that

Amen. Salsa, your comments here (if truthful) are very worrying. It's it not acceptable, in any way, shape, or form. Are you turning into one of those "all men are bastards and rapists" types?

john kerry's wife says shove it

Amen. Salsa, your comments here (if truthful) are very worrying. It's it not acceptable, in any way, shape, or form. Are you turning into one of those "all men are bastards and rapists" types?

Maybe I came across poorly there.

Understanding someones reasons, doesnt mean I find it acceptable. Empathy is a wonderful thing. I don't condone it, I haven't done it myself, but it doesnt mean i sit here on my high horse saying that they are crazed loons. They are people who have been pushed to the edge.

Its like I said before, betrayal of this manner can be more wounding than hitting someone, because the mental pain stays alot longer than any physical pain. Therefore in a moment of poor judgement people do react badly, its not right, but it happens, and it only happened because there is a trigger.

I'm divorced and i still don't cheat what a loser i am.

Statistically, maybe. In my experience however, that's bollocks. I'm sure other men can say the same.
I agree. From personal experience genders are about even for being shits.

I've had several short term relationships with women in which they have actually turned out to have been committed to someone else. While I've only been cheated on once personally, it felt like shit, so I can empathise. Needless to say these women got told to take a fucking hike.

Never been unfaithful ever BTW, even gone as far as turning someone down and then leaving a club sharpish just in case their amourous advances got more persuasive. ;)

Apologies is this does not make sense, I am still suffering a hangover from hell after a mates stag-do.

From what I`ve seen on a TV programme recently, they claim that 4 out of 10 children are actually another man. (I`m not saying that women are worse than men for cheating, I do believe that men are worse, but not by as much as women make out :D )

If I raised a child that I believed was mine and not a result of an affair/fling and were to find out at a later date, it would destroy me. I strongly believe that is the the most devestating thing a woman could do to me. How ould you feel about the child, how would you feel about her?

Anyway, back on topic.
I have mentioned a couple of times that I have had a colourful past. Now, that is truely in the past but I often wonder what made me cheat? Is it insecurity, is it competetion with your mates, or is it purely no respect/will power? I think, for me at least, it was a mixture of all of them. My insecurities made me feel that I`m not good enough for Miss X, so she will only leave me in the long run anway. On nights out with the lads we would all be lads about town showing who could pull who.

Things have now changed. I still have the same insecurities, maybe not so strong, competion with the lads is not there anymore, its more of a laugh, and I now have greater morals :\ (maybe I just dont want to be known as a cheating husband).

I must admit that I am a flirt (again, maybe trying to ease my insecurities). Just last night we were out in Bristol, we had a great night, chatting to lots of young, and some not so young ladies, but nothing more.

Maybe I have finally grown up?

You guys may read this post and laugh at me, I dunno?

I hope this post hasnt bored anyone, I just thought I could do with giving an extra angle on the topic. I have, at least, tried to be painfully honest.

Anyone else with any thoughts on why people cheat?


I am now wondering wether to actualy post this...................what the hell.

My ex decided it would be better to get it on with a (then) 16 year old than discuss our relationship problems. Some days I'm fine, and I indulge in the odd act of revenge (chilli in boxers, ordering him 15 ann summers catalogues, stealing all his condoms, losing a shitload of weight and just generally looking really hot) but then there are days like today where the thought of how alone I am makes me physically sick, and I'm convulsed with sobs for hours at a time, and I feel like the most wretched, hideous, unloveable creature in the world, and I think that I must be a bad person for him not to love me any more...

I am sure that this wont be of much comfort Kinky, but as I said in my rather lenghty post above, I believe it is him that has the problem, not you. In my past, it was things that I was lacking in not what my raltionships/partners were lacking in.

If your single again, think of all the things you can do now, without having to consider the other half!!!!

That's almost exactly how I felt Kinky, it goes away eventually, I promise. You just have to cut him out your life completely (even the little revenge things have to stop, because basically they mean you still think about him)

I've always believed the saying "once a cheater always a cheater", but of course that wouldn't make leaving someone that cheated on me any easier. The only time I know that I was cheated on was when I was married...however, I never found out about it until AFTER I had already left him. I really think that made it worse, to think that I was married to this jerk that had cheated on me and not known it. It made me question a lot about myself...the usual things, "What was so wrong with me that he had to go elsewhere, What could I have done differently, but the worse one was....How could I have not known????" Granted there were a few times during my marriage that I questioned whether he was being faithful or not but he always denied that he was cheating on me. And I never had any proof otherwise. He even went so far as to hit on a relative of mine, when she called and told me about it I got angry and of course he denied it...said he loved only me, he cried cuz he thought I was leaving him, etc. And of course in the end I believed him. Now after being divorced from him for going on 2 years I can still say that I wish I'd have found out for sure during my marriage to him that he had cheated instead of after leaving him, I hate the thought of everyone else knowing about the cheating but me, and looking like a total fool for not knowing it was going on.

It's a hard one to call I think trying to find reasons on why people cheat. Theres a combination of things which could lead someone to do it.

It could be caused by not getting enough attention from their partner and then looking for the attention from somewhere else.

Some people like the 'ego boost' they get from pulling other people because they are insecure about their own relationship and themselves.

Some people just can't keep their hands to themselves

There is many combinations that could lead to people cheating you could go on and on, But there is one thing that is certain who ever has been cheated on it's one of the most horrible feelings in the world. Because all kinds of things go through your mind on why it has happened and it must be a natural reaction to instantly blame yourself and that it was you at fault and not the other person. In my view if someone cheats on you then there is no other option to give them the boot because everything in the relationship has been lost, there would be no trust and the constant niggling in the back of your mind when they go out on their own, and for them to cheat in the first place for what ever reasons whats to stop them from doing it again.

Cheats get the thumbs down

I have never cheated on anybody; I haven't had the chance. However, I know that if I had the chance I wouldn't because I know how shitty it feels to be treated as an object of conveniance. Viz:

Every woman I have slept with has been cheating on their boyfriend with me.

My longest relationship has been 2 months, and that soured because of her lying and cheating actions.

I began to get involved with a girl from work (2ish years ago) and she knocked it on the head because she didn't want to get involved with someone she worked with. A week later she is in a lovey-dovey relationship with a guy from work.

I went out with a girl just after christmas. She gave me the usual "wbps, you're a really nice guy, but...<blah, blah, blah> I'm too busy to get involved with anyone..." So I call her to hang out with some friends a couple of weeks later, no can do. She's going on holiday with her boyfriend.

*tries to control bitter rage*

So, if I was in a deeply felt relationship, and the other person cheated on me that would be that. No forgiveness, no second chance, no excuses, no trust, no going back. It would be over instantly and forever because how can I then rely on that person?

My first reply in this thread was filippant, but this is how i did deal with it.

I found out said guy was married, so I went and told his wife. She kicked him out and he came running to me. I stopped with him for a while until I found out he was still screwing about, so then i stole all these letters and photos he had of other women ( I found them in a book I was going to read, they werent hidden anywhere private) and sent him packing. I worked on the basis that he wouldnt want to risk asking me for them incase i didnt have them and he had mislaid them.

Then, when I was no longer on offer he went crawling back to his wife, and i sent her a few of the letters. She kicked him back out. We went through this cycle for ages, then he had a stroke and i thought you can't fuck with the disabled :) In the meantime I had shagged a few of his mates aswell, which served to wind him up more than anything else.


you rock!!

I have never cheated on anybody; I haven't had the chance. However, I know that if I had the chance I wouldn't because I know how shitty it feels to be treated as an object of conveniance. Viz:

Every woman I have slept with has been cheating on their boyfriend with me.

My longest relationship has been 2 months, and that soured because of her lying and cheating actions.

I began to get involved with a girl from work (2ish years ago) and she knocked it on the head because she didn't want to get involved with someone she worked with. A week later she is in a lovey-dovey relationship with a guy from work.

I went out with a girl just after christmas. She gave me the usual "wbps, you're a really nice guy, but...<blah, blah, blah> I'm too busy to get involved with anyone..." So I call her to hang out with some friends a couple of weeks later, no can do. She's going on holiday with her boyfriend.

*tries to control bitter rage*

So, if I was in a deeply felt relationship, and the other person cheated on me that would be that. No forgiveness, no second chance, no excuses, no trust, no going back. It would be over instantly and forever because how can I then rely on that person?

Poor chicken :( Why is it that the really shitty people always end up hurting the good guys? That goes for everyone on this thread who has been shit on from a great height. What drives people to be bastards? Why do some people always cheat, and why do others always get cheated on? I wish I knew...

Why is it that the really shitty people always end up hurting the good guys?
Because they're really shitty people! :D

You know what I mean... why can't the really shitty people just be really shitty to each other and leave us nice folk alone? :(

Some people are nice people, but occasionally do shitty things.

You know what I mean... why can't the really shitty people just be really shitty to each other and leave us nice folk alone? :(

:D Heaven knows. Think of it this way: If us nice people didn't run into the occasional shitty person, then we would not know how nice we are, and we certainly would have no benchmark against which to assess anyone else's degree of nice/shitty.

Having said that, now that I know how nice I am ("a really nice guy", apparantly), I'm sick and tired of being nice and getting shat upon. I want the good stuff for a change.

Me too. Damn you, moral fibres, damn you!

when me and my ex split, she was insainly jealous of everything i seemed to do, she got it into her head that i was havin a fling with her brothers girlfriend, she knew damn well that i hated that kinda thing, so she decided to start seein who i thought was my best friend. This so called friend was a key figure in the circle of friends I had, so subsiquently I lost all the friends I had outside of work. The bitch knew what she was doin while tryin to make out she was snow white. lower than low and completely sad.

when me and my ex split, she was insainly jealous of everything i seemed to do, she got it into her head that i was havin a fling with her brothers girlfriend, she knew damn well that i hated that kinda thing, so she decided to start seein who i thought was my best friend. This so called friend was a key figure in the circle of friends I had, so subsiquently I lost all the friends I had outside of work. The bitch knew what she was doin while tryin to make out she was snow white. lower than low and completely sad.

my ex-boyf was like that - a sanctimonious, two-faced, jealous psycho adulterer.

If it were a one off it would be no biggie to me. But if it were an affair I would simply just end it.

Hehehe now this is one girl with the right idea on how to traet a cheater :)

http://www.icanstilltellyourwifebill.com/

ha ha ha, good on her.

I gave a reference for a bloke who joined military intelligence. I was interviewed by this guy who asked me a question I still find interesting: is he the sort of guy who could maintain more than one relationship at a time? The guy had a g/f at the time, and the interviewer asked a few questions that created a laddish environment, then slipped that question in. My friend was a rugby man and loved a beer or ten. It would have been in keeping with that environment to say that he had 2 or 3 women on the go, but in his case it wasn't true, and I said as much.

His attitude was, and is, the same as mine: if you have to cheat the relationship is in a dire state. First decide whether you want to fix the relationship or end it, then follow through on that decision. If you've ended it, there is no "cheating" and you're off to greener fields and pastures new. If you're fixing it, cheating is more trouble than it's worth. I love the look of post-coital bliss on my beloved's face, and while there are plenty of cuties out there, getting that look from them is not worth the pain it would cause C. Any kind of vandalism, emotional or otherwise, never did it for me.

It was interesting that so personal an attitude could be used in a national security context.

... but this is how i did deal with it.
Memo: DO NOT FUCK WITH SALSA

If I raised a child that I believed was mine and not a result of an affair/fling and were to find out at a later date, it would destroy me. I strongly believe that is the the most devestating thing a woman could do to me.
Amen to that brother. Don't know how I'd go if my beloved was raped, though.

as any coder knows, you comp a prorram, the meat gets sweet

I have been cheated on by my ex.I forgave him but as time passed on i realised i couldn't forget and probably never would be able to. I finished the relationship and came out feeling like i was the better person. Smug eh ? But true . If anyone ever cheated on me again i know now that would be " game over" straight away.