Things have been pretty dank on here this week. So here's a bit of fun:


Apparently it's not possible to crack an egg using your arse cheeks alone.


I put it to the dogbombers to have a go at this alledgedly impossible task.

I'm not at home right now, and don't have an egg handy... but i WILL be attempting this before the day is out... and i expect maximum participation!!!

Please don't rate this thread until at least SOMEBODY has tried this. The potential for laughs is unlimited!

May the force be with you ;)

Can you sit on the fucker?
Its using your ass and the egg will break

:stupid: seems perfectly logical

T
Apparently it's not possible to crack an egg using your arse cheeks alone.



you're using something other than your arse cheeks...

Unless you sit on it in mid air :\

ok, inspired by taya i will be trying this before noon. im certain i can do it. i have an arse made entirely of bone. sexy i know, but ladies - please... keep your hands to yourselves!

need to buy eggs.

whats the odds on me doing it?

Right what you need to do is your best goatse impression, get someone else to place the egg between your spread buttocks the clench like a motherfucker.

Like this:

/-{}-\ -quick stick it in


If you used a hard boiled one it would come out like a fucking rocket.

Edit: Thinking about it a pickled one would be even better for that little bit of vinegar lube that would be needed.

crap, i need to go meet a friend. so i wont be doing it before noon.

kep this thread alive and i will do it tomorrow. unless someon beats me to it!

As I said you are going to need some one to place the egg into your gaping shitter.
How good a friend are they?

kep this thread alive and i will do it tomorrow. unless someon beats me to it!
You know what, I don't forsee many people rushing to win this one.

whats the odds on me doing it?

Being an arse, i'd have thought you wouldn't have a problem ;)

It's Lazarus

....Apparently it's not possible to crack an egg using your arse cheeks alone....



Am I the only one bothered that someone seems to have thought about it and tried it?

How much free time do you need to come up with the idea to try it?

Rated CRAP.

If I Can't Manage To Crack It, Can I Have Omlette Afterwards?

Rated CRAP.

No. That's only if it goes in the other hole first - and await a day or two... :)

i'm home alone right now must admit to being strangely tempted to try...although i don't know how long mrs safe will be, and how would you explain that scenario if someone comes home when you're mid-way through your cracking attempt with your naked arse waving in the air, an egg balanced upon it & a look of grim determination on your face?

a nonchelant "nice day dear?" just isn't gonna cut it eh?

Go on. Go on! Go on! Go on! Go on! Go on! Go on! Go on!

i'm home alone right now must admit to being strangely tempted to try...although i don't know how long mrs safe will be, and how would you explain that scenario if someone comes home when you're mid-way through your cracking attempt with your naked arse waving in the air, an egg balanced upon it & a look of grim determination on your face?

a nonchelant "nice day dear?" just isn't gonna cut it eh?
Did you do it? Did you do it?

If it's impossible to do it by squeezing it in your fist (minus a ring, of course), then why would it be possible to crack it in your butt cheeks (which must be weaker)?

If it's impossible to do it by squeezing it in your fist (minus a ring, of course), then why would it be possible to crack it in your butt cheeks (which must be weaker)?

i used to think this was true but unfortunatley its not, after a while one of your fingers begins to excert more pressure and eventually the egg breaks, and in my case all over my sofa, not so smart.

I was never able to do it... i guess I give up too easily.. or was your egg rotten?

well that was fun...my skinny, bony arse is way too skinny & bony, i could only just grip the fucker, and the eggs from my fridge are (unsurprisingly) a bit chilly

short of jamming it up my hoop, which i don't intend doing in case it gets stuck (it was on the chair i just happened to sit down on in the nude, honest nurse) i'll have to admit defeat

Theres something just fundamentally wrong with this thread.

Theres no way anyone could break it with bum cheeks alone, even if they were a body builder. The fact that people are actually trying to do this is just weird. Yes, Im talking to you safeasachocolatefireguard.

Think of the lacerations? Or the potential appearance of a baby chicken corpse "apparently" from your bum, as your loved one appears earlier than you expected them to come home.

Heheh.

If you are gonna have a go though, you really must video it.

awww, go on, admit it...you're slightly intrigued by the idea & are dying to try it!

If you are gonna have a go though, you really must video it.

how much worse would that look if you were caught tho? naked, bum in air, egg in bum videotaping yourself

"its ok dear, this is not what you think, its a serious scientific experiment"

i did manage a photo, but its hardly flattering, its not my "best side" as they say

not my "best side" as they say
Of course not. It's your back side.

Badum tish.

Sorry....

I'm still surprised there's no pictures...

The mental images are scarring enough, thanks so much.

:haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha:

:haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha:


:stupid:

What a classic... I just giggled al the way through my shower like some idiot...

I'm still surprised there's no pictures...

au contraire

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2005-8/1057812/myass.jpg

ohjesusfuckfuckfuckohjesus

it looks like your giving birth to a little bald alien

that is some serious clenching going on there

i've lost mine

omg, I only nipped onto here to check what had happened since 6pm... and now... I won't be able to return to working coz i'm laughing way too much... damn you !

that is some serious clenching going on there

oooh yes!! you can almost see the concentration on my face ;)

I'm now wondering if it's a boy or a girl?

i've lost mine

Lost your what? Egg? Only one direction it could've gone buddy

/me sings "the only way is UP!"


safeasfuck i salute you. That's fucking quality.

:stupid:

:haha::haha::haha::haha:

Stunning I think it looks like a muppet

QUALITY! Edna, you should be banned from trying to make our users suffocate due to shortness of breath from laughing!

Dude, that is just TOO funny. How am I supposed to work in these conditions?

Edit - is it possible to clear the rating for this thread and start again? This SHOULD be rated excellent (although I did anyway).

:D

If I had the time to paint it red, it could be Elmo.

anybody want to change his name to Elmo-ass in flambe?

I think if those people who voted it crap, now changed it to excellent, it would probably make it. :D

safeasfuck. Thankyou for making my day start with a smile.

:rolf: :hyper: :youwin: :badger:

Are you sure thats an egg? It could be a smoothly shaved testicle "tucked in" a la Silence of the Lambs...

Slight ammendment

http://www.unochild.co.uk/dogbomb/muppetass.gif

:))
See I fucking told you, its Elmo!

3g-um please please PLEASE change his name to Elmo-ass in flambe :D

Slight ammendment

http://www.unochild.co.uk/dogbomb/muppetass.gif


:haha::haha::haha::haha:

Cant. breathe. Help. :haha:

i'm so glad my naked skinny arse has provided such amusement....i don't feel so bad at not being able to crack the egg now

at least now i know what i'd look like if i ever sunbathed nude 8)


Are you sure thats an egg? It could be a smoothly shaved testicle "tucked in" a la Silence of the Lambs...

i can assure you its not a testicle, i have never contemplated shaving my sack cos thats an idea that has "trip to casualty" written all over it



Cant. breathe. Help. :haha:

see what you've started now! you've created a monster (out of my arse no less)

Mmm.. there was a thread in flambe going on about Minx having worn the egg... is there something you are not telling us ?

Edit - is it possible to clear the rating for this thread and start again? This SHOULD be rated excellent (although I did anyway).
Re-rate.

If you originally rate CRAP and then change to EXCELLENT. Only the most recent vote counts.

Now i KNOW that another dogbomber had a go at this, and took pictures, and hasnt posted them!!!!

Lets egg his mailbox :P

Now i KNOW that another dogbomber had a go at this, and took pictures, and hasnt posted them!!!!

Lets egg his mailbox :P

oooh....who, who????

damn you taya....

Fine!.... tsk.

http://img30.imageshack.us/img30/1971/mewiththeegg6iq.jpg

now i just look like im johnny come lately copying the bigger boys. NO PHOTOSHOPPING!

This thread just gets better and better.

all of 7 minutes that took... what do you peopl do? just sit around waiting for idiocy?

Yeah but you don`t have to wait long on this board !!

true that... :(

:haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha:

:haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha:

You look like you're beating it.. and I don't mean the egg.

:haha:

it does as well!

I few moments ago I found myself stood in the shower with a cold egg in my ass crack, doing the pelvic-thrust-n-clench technique. Then I paused and realised I'm stood in the shower with a cold egg in my ass crack, doing the pelvic-thrust-n-clench technique. Then I uttered the words "fucking aussie bitch," took the egg out of my ass and put back on my robe. Now I'm gonna go eat this egg.

Holy fuck, wait a second, I managed to crack it. I'm off back to the shower to see if I can finish the job. Expect updates soon.

--------------------

OK, I'm back. That really fucking hurt. Remember kids. Just say no.

Here's the whole story:

I chose an egg at random, inspected it for cracks and flaws and found none. I then undressed and got into the shower. I put the egg in my asscrack and clenched. No success. I tried combining the clench with a pelvic thrust. Sevral tries later and I decided I'd been had by an aussie girl. I came and typed the message above with my left hand while holding the egg with my right. As I switched the egg from one hand to the other to click 'Submit Reply' I noticed a very faint crack. I'm quite sure this crack didn't occur while carrying the egg from the shower to my PC, so I can only conclude my capital asscakes did it. I went back to the shower, popped it back in and clenched. No success. I tried it with a pelvique. No success. I try sevral more thrusts, I hear a crackle and feel something jagged in my crack, but the egg is still whole. One more clench, crack. Ouch. Fucking ouch. The egg broke. Taya, if my sphincter gets salmonella, I'm blaming you.

Fucking aussie bitch. ;)

I think I speak for everyone else on here.....We want the photos

I took no photos, and if I did you wouldn't see them. All representations of my naked form are belong to wifey.

in the shower? pffft, real men try it in a carpeted room ;)

(i'm only jealous i couldn't crack mine. excellent ass-work)

Handling of the egg afterwards is likely proof that it was mismanagement of the eggs safety by an ass that caused it to crack after being in one.

Please note this is not not a joke.

I hate to agree with netniV. I believe it was probably my ass that did the work, but since the egg was removed, transported, replaced and then broken its probably not a valid break.

I took no photos, and if I did you wouldn't see them. All representations of my naked form are belong to wifey.

All except for the ones I still have in my recieved files, that is. And I shant relinquish them. They make me snigger periodically.

Received files? I never sent you any pictures explicitly. I sent you a link, then you must've downloaded of your own volition.

Details details...

Either way, You look pretty impressive in A2 poster sized.

Anything involving me in the buff is mighty impressive.

Is this the point were everyone divulges who they have naked pictures of ? Don't get me started I have a few, and I know who has some backup copies of mine...

Everyone's seen my little pokeystick at some time or another. Snot on pubic... err... I mean public display any more though.

Fucking aussie bitch. ;)

Due to my computer dying this week i had to read that post in the local library and try not to wet myself or cause a scene with my snorts of laughter...

I think the project has been a success... even with bastards voting this thread down due to personal differences.

'Don't punish the thread, MAN!'

You look like you're beating it.. and I don't mean the egg.

:haha:


Well done you guys! Live the dream!

OH MY GOD!!! I just read this thread all the way through! I was laughing so hard, Annabelle came in here to see what was wrong with me and saw Safe's arse and said "Shower?" and then ran though the house yelling "ASS ASS ASS ASS!!!!" This thread is the best! I about died laughing when I read Kor's origional post... in the shower....LOL!!

psst cyberhun, in here

I see it, I see it!!! Arrgghh!!

Best thread Ever!
needs to be Best Of Boardededed. :))

au contraire

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2005-8/1057812/myass.jpg


Access Denied (User Account Disabled)

The file you have requested is unavailable because the user account is either locked or suspended.

I demand a re-post.

you can see enough in the subsequent posts surely... :P

I demand a re-post.

seeing as you asked, i will see what i can do when i get home :D

sorry, been afk for a few days and oddly enough i tend not to keep images of my own naked arse on my work computer :)

/edit. there you go, enjoy!

http://board.dogbomb.co.uk/attachment.php?attachmentid=5034&stc=1&d=1160761250

oh dear.

Oh my god, the dimples. So. many. dimples.

This is the funniest thread ever.

Taya, did you ever get around to trying it? The only thing we're lacking is some representation from the ladies...

Yeah, how come it's only the boys who make the effort. I'm sure I read somewhere that this is one of those things which women can do easier than men due to differences in morphology, like the bending 90 degrees and picking up a stool trick. I reckon the girls would do better than us if they tried.

Taya, Im especially talking to you as you're the one who started this madness ...

I'm not at home right now, and don't have an egg handy... but i WILL be attempting this before the day is out...

yes i did - couldnt do it.

(my beehind is famously small anyway... no bootyliciousnessness here guys)



those who want to see my arse can shell out tenner and find that particular thread at their own leisure ;)

Taya, did you ever get around to trying it? The only thing we're lacking is some representation from the ladies...

Well go on then, what's stopping you?

so.... been long enough now. best of board?

so.... been long enough now. best of board?

Every time you bump it, makes it not get to BoB. :(

but you DO have the power to jsut move it yourself innit? nobody is gonna post anything new and meaningful now.

BoBed