Or should that be worse? Anyhow, it seems only fair that there should be somewhere for us to slag off the crappest of the crap pile.

Undoubtedly the worst film I've ever seen is Me, You and Everyone We Know (possibly You, Me and Everyone We Know).Complete and utter bollocks. It was pretentious, made no sense, barely had a plot and was more or less just about the director/lead actress trying far too hard to be quirky and showing off. This film was introduced to me as "the best film in the last 10 years" and I was so angry after being forced to wach it (yes I was forced, it was in college and I couldn't walk out) that I wrote my only ever Amazon review, just so I could give it a 0.

Love Actually
Another pile of steaming crap about nothing in particular.

Closer
See above.

I'm starting to see a pattern. I don't like films about random, boring people whose lives all interlock in some mundane, pretentiously stupid way making me feel like I've lost 90 minutes of my life to the Devil and not even got money or fame out of it.

Godzilla
Any overrated b&w film featuring Marilyn Monroe. Shite.

Little man
Men in Tights
Super Mario Bros.
The Scorpion King
Code 64 (or some other number...)
The Thin Red Line (numerous stars but my goodness 3hrs
The New World (Colin Farrel is yum but otherwise BOLLOCKS

There are many many more

Dumb and Dumber. My dad took me an my brother to the cinema when I was about 14 to see this heap of shit.
We had agreed that we would watch something we all liked (can't remember what it was I do know my mother was there when the conversation took place) and my bastard father wend and "changed my mind when I was at the ticket office but don't tell your mother".
I sat through about 10 mins of this godawful crappy dung heap of a "movie" hissed at my dad that he had better give me some money if he wanted my silence and fucked off out of the cinema.

Alexander Irish accents, wooden acting, token eroticism.... fuck me.

Pay It Forward- pure, unfiltered shite
A.I.- it goes on and on and on and on and oooooooooonnnnnnn and makes you just want to kill yourself.

Jerry Maguire

Three Kings

I would rathe pull my own teeth out with rusty pliers than watch either again

Grease............so fucking annoying :bombguy:

Team America Why? How the hell was this "funny" other than the Matt Damon joke which stopped beign funny very quickly, I found nothing funny in this film. It was awful

Man on the moon The only film I've ever paid for (I rented it) and not watched all the way through. Normally I'll always watch to the credits in case it gets good or I miss something but this got put back in the box after an hour of wankery and taken back. I didn't even rewind it.

The breakfast club This is one of those films that ha s no plot and goes nowhere. That works for some films (lost in translation for example) but this made me want to die I was so bored.I Forced myself to watch it with an ex partner because she loved it. I tried so hard to pretend I wasn't hating it more than I hate having my penis removed by a rusty breadknife but despite all efforts I actually fell asleep at one point during this.

Grease............so fucking annoying :bombguy:

Nooooooooo. The best musical ever. Im currently listening to the soundtrack as we speak.

brick

recommended by someone i usually trust the opinion of, turned out to be the biggest pile of pretentious overblown dogshit i've seen in years.

tries sooo hard to be clever by "borrowing" as many old thriller cliches as possible but just doesn't work, by the end you really really don't give a flying fuck about any of the characters (worse so than LA story). you'd have to be deaf, blind and stupid not to see every event in the last 30 minutes coming from miles away...for the love of god avoid this garbage you'll hate it

Oh Gods, where to start...? I once - and I'm not proud of this fact - sat through Notting Hill 'cos my brother's gf at the time wanted to watch it. Dire bag of steaming horse shite of a film.
The Ring of The Musketteers is another one to avoid at all costs. myself and a group of friends rented it one weekend during a roleplay meet, one of us thought it might be OK 'cos it had Cheech Marin in it. I did try in vane to point out that it also starred David Hasselhoff which should've been more than enough of a clue that it was going to be a pile of crap, but I got shouted down. If I remember correctly, we managed to sit through about 20 monutes of it before we were all feeling suicidal!
Pretty much anything by Disney is a no-no for me because it's all just lying bullshit. beautifully animated, maybe but sentimental bollox nonetheless, actually, I tell a lie, 'cos I have seen one decent Disney Film which was from either the late 70's or early eighties called 'The Black Cauldron' and was much better 'cos it was quite a dark film.

Nooooooooo. The best musical ever. Im currently listening to the soundtrack as we speak.

Are you being ironic?

Not Another Teen movie!

Utter sh!te
I walked out after about 30mins....

Nooooooooo. The best musical ever. Im currently listening to the soundtrack as we speak.

:stupid: Grease rocks. although I'd say it's not quite as good as RHPS or Blues Brothers for best musical but I'd put it as one of the best. It's cheesy yeah, but that's a good thing.

:siren::siren::siren::siren::siren:

Uno and Dom, for many a year I have monitored your dicerse listening habits in awe, hoping to expand my limited knowledge of music as we know it...............




but for fucks sake, its not even ironicaly(?) good!!!

I worry for you both :rip:

Are you being ironic?

No. I honesty love Grease.

Sorry butch, Grease rocks, so your own taste must be the questionable one :D

Sorry butch, Grease rocks, so your own taste must be the questionable one :D

I`m with all the others

Grease is the word

Sorry butch, Grease rocks, so your own taste must be the questionable one :D


NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Not you too Dave, what is this world coming to????

:despair:


Now Saturday Night Fever is another question.......... :yes:

Anything with Travolta in it is unwatchable as far as I'm concerned. (And yes, this includes that fucking trough of fake blood known as "Pulp Fiction.")

Anything where Bruce Willis saves the world from glaciers from Mars or some such shit.

And--oh God--How could I forget...

All and any versions of that thing where the ship flipped upside down.

Anything with Travolta in it is unwatchable as far as I'm concerned. (And yes, this includes that fucking trough of fake blood known as "Pulp Fiction.")

Anything where Bruce Willis saves the world from glaciers from Mars or some such shit.

I enjoyed Face Off and Broken Arrow with Travolta

I enjoyed Face Off and Broken Arrow with Travolta

How about Battlefield Earth or whatever it was called ;)

How about Battlefield Earth or whatever it was called ;)

Not seen it. Is it crap?

Its a terrible film, although if youve read the book it makes a little more sense. I enjoyed it, despite it being bad :D

Are you being ironic?

No. I honesty love Grease.

Fair play - goan yourself.

I'd also like to nominate Philladelphia - for this film I invent a new word: sladge.

Let's keep it blunt, shall we:

American Beauty. Just as a house can be described as mock Tudor, this is mock cinema. Phoney, conceited garbage that serves up platitudes dressed up as profundity.

Cape Fear. What the fuck were you thinking, Marty?

Absolutely anything directed by Adrian Lyne. Flashdance, Fatal Attraction, Indecent Proposal, Jacob's Ladder, Lolita...Take your pick from this putrid crock of flashy, vacuous, posturing shite.

Grease............so fucking annoying :bombguy:

This is the most over-rated piece of shit ever made. A few of the songs are good, that's the only good thing I can say about it.

Gigli, yes I actually forced myself to watch through it. I went through a short stage of torturing myself by watching shit films for entertainment. http://www.oohnasty.com/index.php?itemid=56
After giving it a quick re-read I realised how bad some of my spelling mistakes were in that article and thats down to being drunk whilst watching the films to help me get through it.

I must say that Jacob's Ladder is an exception to Lynne's otherwise completely worthless work.

Also, in partial defense of Brick, while the conceit doesn't hold together, I thought the cast, particularly the male lead, was very good indeed.

Another nomination: both remakes of "King Kong." Jackson's is worse than the 70s version, shockingly enough, which at least didn't dribble on for 3 1/2 hours and star Jack Black.

Pirates of the Carribean 2

The first one was a bit boring, but had some fun moments and fantastic acting from Depp. The second one, well it had some special effects which would have kept it interesting if the movie were 5 minutes long. The script was clearly written by 3rd graders who had watched too many saturday morning cartoons. (or the cast of Grease)

Personally I like Grease & American Beauty. But agree that A.I is total shit. I sat there in disbelieve at how bad it was.

The Postman was pretty awful. I cant believe I watched the whole thing.

I blame this on my housemate at the time.

I quite enjoyed the postman - well, when it first came out anyway.

Three (kelly Brook)
and
Post Impact (Joanna Taylor)

Are much worse than anything else listed here, even after taking into consideration the exposed norks of the relative accresses.

That Guy Richie mess 'Revolver' t'was shite... (I may be alone here)

Chicago, i'd rather eat my own pubic hair then sit through that tripe again.

Wendigo - utter shite, the whole film is pretty much some random irritating cunt running through a wood where the camera occasionally cuts to show a quivering branch...supposedly indicative of a supernatural monster...or just a branch if you're me. Twas even worse than Blair Witch and that's fucking saying something.

Oh yeah..and Summer of Sam. Worst. Film. Ever. And I've seen a fair few.

Confetti. What a pile of hot steaming shite that was.

A Cringe a minute.

don't ever, ever watch vanilla sky...i would gleefully boil in my own piss before being in the same room as this film again

some points to note

it contains tom cruise
it contains tom cruise trying to be "artistic" & serious
sting did the soundtrack
its reeeeeally long, tedious and full of plot holes
the ending will make you want to rip your own head off

Date Movie
Epic Movie
Not another Teen Movie
Scarey Movie 2, 3 +4 the first one was at least funny

In fact most of the "movie" movies are utter wank.

The Number 23 (High hopes trashed with that one)
1408 (see posts elsewhere)

and my all time worst ever film

Deranged (Oddly enough this one isn't listed on IMDB) - A bizarre B-movie about time travel where one person eventually goes insane in the future and murders all of her time travelling buddies before destroying the time machine thus preventing her own return. It ends with her crying pure tears of crazy as the last of her surviving co-travellers (Her twin sister no less) is locked in the room with the time travel machine while the deranged sister is hammering on the door waiting ot kill her. Pure dross and the worst film i have ever seen.

don't ever, ever watch vanilla sky...i would gleefully boil in my own piss before being in the same room as this film again


I didnt think it was that bad, but it was no where near as good as Open You Eyes which it is a remake of and well worth a look if you havent seen it.

Worst film Ive seen recently was called Deck The Halls, a comedy/xmas film starring Mathew Broderick and Danny Devito. These two stars struggle to get a few titters out of a poor plot line which is filled with slapstick moments.

Ummm

The Condemned

This is an awful pile of poo and I'm seriously considering the option of suing the WWE for wasting the better part of two hours of my life... I should have learned my lesson when watching...

Walking Tall & Welcome To The Jungle

When is the Rock gonna give it up and realise that the career in wrestling was always going to be a better bet than the abortion of an acting "career" he has now... I really think all wrestlers / singers / politicians should learn that whilst they may or may not have been good at doing there previous jobs acting is something that requires real commitment and work to do well...

Damn it now I'm rambling.. ***Go away voices!***

Captain Correlli's Mandolin
Perhaps one of my mot favourite books of all time that was RAPED by America. I mean come the fuck on, Nicholas Cage as Captain COrrelli? You have got to be kidding me...the man has the acting skills of a gnat.
The plot was torn to shreds and even the ending was changed.
Sometimes good books are made into good films like Chocolat, which albeit completely different was still a good film but this made me walk out of the cinema...
Any of the Star Wars films
Seriously. Never been able to stay awake longer than ten minutes.

mister bean

all of them made to watch them by the kids honest

The Virgin Suicides - Seems to last 10 times as long as it actually did! Utter tripe.

Four that have already been mentioned that I heartily agree with:

AI
Pay it Forward
Thin Red Line
Three Kings

Die Hard 1,2,3 & the latest inclusion 4.

Bearable,Tripe,Tripe & Tripe.

Not my sort of Films ,per-se

Outlaw - Nick Love is the director and I also assume Danny Dyers best mate as he seems to appear in all of his films.

I didn't mind the Football Factory or The Business but thought Outlaw was very poor. Lennie James is in it as well and is a fantastic actor but was wasted in this pile of tosh.

The Da Vinci Code. I even hated the book.

I must say though that my opinion may not be valid, as I have truly enjoyed a few of the films already listed. Let's not forget that they are just entertainment meant to pass a coupla hours.

lost in translation I nearly cried it was sooo bad... such a tragic shame, soundtrack was good, it could have been so much better.

eyes wide shut It was that bad you could see the cast thinking 'what the fuck?'

Good luck chuck and knocked up

thinkt he first was the worst of the two. truely mind numbingly shit, the jokes were poor, the humour so bloody predicatable. jsut every borign cliche you could think of. really i can't convey how shit i thought it was.

as for knocked up. heard and read so many good reviews about it. popped it on one mornign hungover, expecting to see soemthign as good as [b]Superbad[b] which i laughed at so much i peed a little. nope and another pretty predicatable movie. of course they're going to fight and theng et back togther again. thatnks for throwing that in, i was really at the edge of my seat wondering if they were going to make it.

Death at a funeral - didn't care about the characters ad all the gags were predictable. At least in Hamlet all the annoying fuckers get slaughtered, which is why it's great literature.

Notwithstanding Stiller, this (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0132347/) has a cracking cast but has to be the most piss poor shower of shite ever to be made.