No, it's not a joke, I want to know.

I can't drill a hole in it because I don't have a drill. I can't use a hammer and nail because I don't have a hammer or nail. I tried a corkscrew but I think it'll put my life in danger if I attempt that again, and probably blunt the corkscrew too.

Any ideas?

there's no milk in a coconut dude, you know that right? Cocnut milk is pressed flesh, coconut juice is something completely different.

link one (http://www.coconutoil-online.com/Opening%20a%20fresh%20nut.html)

link two
(http://chinesefood.about.com/library/blphotohowtococonut.htm)

Oh you finickety person, you know what I mean. The juice inside a coconut, how do I get it out?

link one

there should be 3 little dimples at one end that are softer than the rest of it - push something through one (or preferably two) of these & then invert it over a glass to let it drain out.

try using the handle of a teaspoon, that should do it, also its not too sharp so there's no risk of finger cuttage

Oooh lovely, I noticed those indents but didn't know what they were. I shall try with a screwdriver, if I still have the use of my hands afterwards to type I'll let you know how it goes.

obviously didn't work, or you've lost your hands?

Oh yeah I forgot about this. I got it out, but it's not nice at all. The last coconut I had had very pleasant spunk juice.

I love coconut water, I believe that's it's actual name.

Jeez, you and Dominoid are as bad as each other.

I love it too, but this lot isn't very nice.

probably an old coconut. Although I'm not sure on the 'shelflife' of a coconut, these things are designed to knock around a while aren't they, waiting to germinate and all that.

It's just far too sweet.