... eggs. Well, a fried egg. Two in fact. One had a perfect yellow blob-thingy-whatsit and the other unfortunately got anhilated as I cracked it open resulting in a strange yellow/white flat mix.

Unfortunately, being this was the first time ever, I managed to burn some of the egg to the frying pan. Note to self is to use an even lower heat than I was doing! There was definately enough oil in there, I think..

... Baguette's. Well, ok, not totally, I actually finished the cooking on those half-cooked ones. It tasted SOOOOOOO much nicer than most fresh ones do off the shelf. Weird.

Tomorrow's lesson is fish. Never cooked or even bought one. Should be fun, especially as my grandma gave me a late christmas present this week... Three Tier Steamer!

fried eggs, i am the fried egg MASTER - a good non-stick pan is the essential thing, bit of oil (not olive oil, it burns easily), quite hot, but not smoking or anything

crack gently into the pan, don't leave it for a second

after only a minute or so it's mostly cooked, spatula/fish slice/egg flipper thing (plastic or wood if you don't want to fuck your non-stick pan)

get under it and flip it over gently

about another twenty/thirty seconds and it's a perfect 'over-easy' egg
cook it longer if you don't like runnyness

don't wash the pan with a pan scourer either

I need eggs to be solid, runny eggs make me bleagh.


Congrats, Netters! You'll be onto beans on toast soon ;)

No. Beans is definately not the plan. Though I may buy some in to have with the Bacon/Eggs next time... only coz they now *seem* to go together. I had a mental block on eating beans for years as they'd make me feel sick. This was until one night when I went around to a friends before football and they slapped beans on toast in front of me without remembering... so I just forced myself to eat it or I'd have gone hungry.

I still feel sick if I try to eat brocolli, cauliflower or brussell sprouts though.. might be the same thing, might not. I might really disagree with them rather than just think I did like the beans. At least with the beans I apparently ate them before the trip back from Southport when I was about 5 and puked. Mental scars!!!

crack gently into the pan, don't leave it for a second
slightly strange i know, but i tend to crack eggs into a wine glass before attempting to fry them...this way you stand less chance of breaking the yolk cos its got less distance to fall and its not immediately falling into hot oil....and if you do still manage to break the yolk you can just add another egg & have scrambled eggs instead

fried eggs with broken yolk is lame :fact:

I can cook scrambled eggs, omelette, eggy bread and fried egg. I want to learn how to do poached. I've always wondered what eggs benedict is, never bothered to look it up though.

Congrats Netters. :D

Eggs Benedict is a toasted English Muffin topped with a thick slice of ham, a poached egg and Hollandaise sauce. Eggs Florentine is similar, but with spinach instead of ham. Eggs Benedict is delicious, but only if the eggs are well done.

I can poach eggs but doing it makes me feel bleugh because it smells worse than normal cos your kitchen fills with egg scented steam.

potato's, carrots, fish and cucumber with a touch of lemon. I wanted to do it, and as by magic, my luck kicked in and I was treated to making it for others. I have some fish left over, so anyone with an idea of what to do tomorrow with it, I'll take on board. Currently, I'm thinking fish with pasta in some fashion, but I'm not sure quite how I'd do it.

It was all in my new 3-tier steamer from my Gran whose gift I'll really enjoy :D

How about fishcakes? Bit of mash, the fish, parsley if you have it, salt and pepper, egg yolk to bind. Mix together, shape into cakes, dust with flour and fry gently until warmed through.

I want to learn how to do poached.


Get a pan of water and bring it to the boil, I always add a little white vinegar, but that is optional, I think it helps keep the white 'together'. Now, using a spoon spin the water in the pan to make a vortex thingy, and carefully crack the egg into the middle of the vortex, might be as well to have it already cracked in a glass or something, then take it off the heat, and leave for roughly 7-10 minutes, that bit is a bit experimental, but should be about right.
Et Voila, une poached oeuf.

Re-- poached eggs (tis my first post here wee!)

Seriously tho.This is what I do for poached eggs and its awesome.

Get a tea cup/or mug
Put cling film over the top,leave some slack and push the film inside the cup.
Break egg into the well of clingfilm inside the cup
Carefully twist the top of the clingfilm sealing the egg inside.
You will now have a clever lil clingfilm bomb of raw egg.
remove from bomb from cup.
And drop the whole thing into boiling water.
2/3 minutes later and Hey presto..
once removed from the clingfilm
You've got a perfectly formed poached egg, which not only looks bloody good,tastes alright too.

Hope you find this has useful as i do! Enjoy111!!

Im so excited about this ere eggs thread, That now you lucky peeps are going to learn the secret to PERFECT scrambled eggs...tis thus..

1. Whip up 4 to 5 eggs in a bowl.
---this next part is a bit extravagant but well worth it.
2. separate 1 egg yolk from its white, and use only the yolk from 1 egg into the 4 egg mix..(This will give your scrambled eggs a rich, deep yellow colour, fit for the queen!)
3. Add a lil salt and pepper and a lil milk (only a dash!!)
4.mix well!
5. heat a sauce pan with a little butter on a LOW heat

----This is the most important method for PERFECT scrambled eggs!!----

6. Keep the heat low!!! dont be tempted to turn it up!! Rome wasn't built in a day!

7. with a wooden spach(i find best), stir the mixture every now and again.scraping cooked egg from the bottom if the pan.
8. after 5/6 minutes on a low heat the mix should start to 'come together' Its hard to quantify, It just feels right ;)
9.Turn the heat off all together. The eggs will continue to cook on there own.

-----heres the secret that most chefs use, and im going to tell you now----

10. Add a lil single cream(or more milk if you aint got cream)
11. Stir in to the mix. ( this stops the eggs from further cooking ,thus going hard)
12. Serve.



If you got it right these scrambled eggs will be creamy and smooth, and your loved ones will think you are teh bestest eva11!!!

<phew>

How about fishcakes? Bit of mash, the fish, parsley if you have it, salt and pepper, egg yolk to bind. Mix together, shape into cakes, dust with flour and fry gently until warmed through.

That would be awesome, but how do you make mash ? ;)

Also, I will need to get papper, parsley, a whisk, flour. I'll add those to my list of things for the next shop I do and try it. Unfortunately, not today as I don't have that much time.

Any other suggestions ?

Well done Netniv for getting yourself in the kitchen to cook. When Mr Spice moved in 5 years ago he had never even boiled an egg. Now he prepares 99% of our meals and is an absolute master chef. :yes:

Thanks! Just one thing... it's [b]netniV[b] damn it! :)

Seriously though, i only started in the last year. Learnt one meal, then remembered who to do jacket potato's, and moved from there... I'm still pretty knew but I have done some random combinations based on what was left in my fridge... such as Jacket Potato's with Chicken and Grapes. Yummy!

Very prud of you, Netniv, the skill of learning how to cook will never see you wrong :D It's healthier, cheaper and a winner for the ladies ;)

Marmite:- your poached eggs recipe is pure fucking genius! I am so going to try that! the scrambled eggs are good too, and your recipe is much the same as mine, except i like to add a little smoked salmon in at the end.

That would be awesome, but how do you make mash ? ;)

From the tin labelled "Smash". ;)

But seriously, although I usually always cook everything from scratch, I have recently re-discovered Smash and it's waaaaay better than it was when I was a kid. probably not as healthy as proper cooked mash, but in a pinch, it tastes fantastic and is well easy to make. Very good to have in the cupboard in case you don't have time to make the proper stuff.

Alternatively:

Chop potatoes into biggish chunks (if they are big potatoes, probably 8 pieces, if they are medium, 4 and small ones, 2/3), put into a pot of water.

Water should properly cover the potatoes.

Add a 1/2 teaspoon of salt.

Put on stove on highest setting, with the lid on.

When it starts boiling, turn down to about halfway and tip the lid slightly.

Boil gently for about 20 minutes or until a butter knife slides easily through a chunk.

Drain water off. (or, if you are making gravy, keep the water one side to use for the gravy... it makes lovely tasty, thick gravy when you add bisto granules to it)

Add a splash of milk, a bit spoon of butter/marg and mash it all up.

Varying techniques can be used for this, usually a potato masher. My preference is a fork, which takes a bit longer, but I find you can whip the mash up to be more creamy and lump-free.

I agree with Kinky, try making fishcakes sometime, they are definitely my recipe of choice for fish.

Oh, and since we are exchanging tips, my culinary project this week is to figure out a recipe for (and learn how to make) sweetcorn and zuccine fritters with a warm beef salad. Anyone have any ideas or suggestions?

From the tin labelled "Smash". ;)

But seriously, although I usually always cook everything from scratch, I have recently re-discovered Smash and it's waaaaay better than it was when I was a kid. probably not as healthy as proper cooked mash, but in a pinch, it tastes fantastic and is well easy to make. Very good to have in the cupboard in case you don't have time to make the proper stuff.
Ok, let me stop you there. From someone who only ever made smash if he had to cook sommat to go with the sausages... it just doesn't cut it. I find it way too bland. Proper mash... 1000 times better in taste and maybe calories but that depends on what you season them with.

However, reciepe recorded, and I'll probably give that a go at some point this week. Then once I'm happy with that it may be onto the fish cakes. As it was, I had to ditch the plans for using the fish as I ran out of potato's so fell back on my pasta with chicken and bacon.

Today's varient has chopped peppers/tomato's/mushrooms with it and I've decided not to include the cream cheese. Haven't added pepper, but I might take some tomorrow to flavour with. Also, cooked some more half-baked baguettes so I can take half a loaf in with the pasta to work tomorrow.

If usings real potatoes to make mash , I alway stick a clove/bulb of garlic in with the boiling potatoes and let them boil away with de spuds.

I always add a bit of salt , but only after the water as boied (because salt will lower the boiling point,and make it take longer to boil).

I then chuck in some chopped chives of my windowsill , prior to mashing , mash ,and then add a knob of English butter ,and mash again till tis light and fluffy.

I like my eggs served with bacon, sausages, beans, mushrooms and brown sauce.

Today I learned to cook... ... eggs.
How the fuck are you still alive?

MacDonalds, ding food and friends. I wouldn't call ding food cooking ;) Friends have been useful over the years at keeping me alive when I might have starved :D

Friends have been useful over the years at keeping me alive when I might have starved :D

Like in a Donner party kind of way?

You are sooooooo never coming over to my house.

Nah. I'd never plan it that way. I just visited friends at random, and then be offered some food. Also, I used to work out of hours for food. That also worked well in the early years. However, in later years I didn't really wanna work in the evenings!